For the OP: what do you think of
ordinal numbers? In the same analogy where
cardinal numbers measure size, the ordinal numbers are what you count with.
Rather than try and describe what ordinal numbers are and why they resemble counting, I will just demonstrate transfinite counting.
Way 1: I will count all of the nonnegative integers first, then the negative ones.
At step 0, I have counted nothing yet
At step 1, I have counted {0}
At step 2, I have counted {0,1}
At step 3, I have counted {0,1,2}
...
At step N, I have counted everything in {0,1,2,...,N-1}
...
----------------------
At step \omega, I have counted every natural number.
*
At step \omega + 1, I have counted every natural number, and {-1}
At step \omega + 2, I have counted every natural number, and {-1,-2}
At step \omega + 3, I have counted every natural number, and {-1,-2,-3}
...
At step \omega + N, I have counted every natural number, and {-1,-2,-3,...,-N}
...
---------------------
At step \omega + \omega = \omega 2, I have counted every integer.
(\omega 2 and 2 \omega are different ordinal numbers -- ordinal arithmetic is trickier with infinite numbers than it is with finite numbers)
Anyways, this method of "iterating" through the integers has length \omega 2. Since |\omega 2| = 2 \aleph_0 = \aleph_0, I know there are countably many integers.
Way 2: I will alternate positive / negative
At step 0, I have counted nothing yet
At step 1, I have counted {0}
At step 2, I have counted {0,1}
At step 3, I have counted {0,1,-1}
...
At step 2N, I have counted {0,1,...,N} and {-1,-2,...,-(N-1)}
At step 2N+1, I have counted {0,1,...,N} and {-1,-2,...,-N}
...
------------
At step \omega, I have counted every integer
This method of iterating through the integers has length \omega. And since |\omega| = \aleph_0, we have another proof the integers are countable!
If we intuit that we can count with ordinal numbers, then cardinality is justifiably used for size -- as you see above, if we "count" the same set in two different ways, we can get two different ordinal numbers, but those ordinal numbers have the same cardinality. Conversely, if two ordinal numbers have the same cardinality, then if we can count a set using one ordinal number, then we can always find another way to count it that gives us the other ordinal number.
Put differently, after counting, the ordinal number is what's left if we forget the individual objects and just remember the sequence of steps in the counting process. A cardinal number is what's left after we forget how the steps are ordered.
*: \omega is a limit ordinal. Nothing "new" is counted here -- every particular number I've counted was counted on a previous step. As is typical for transfinite iteration, I've used the limit ordinal to simply collect the results of all previous steps.