How to Ask a Girl Out in My Grade

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In summary, the conversation centers around a 13-year-old boy who likes a girl in his grade and is seeking advice on how to ask her if she likes him. The general consensus is that directly asking her may make him appear too direct or wimpy, and instead, he should try to get to know her by asking her to do something simple like getting coffee or hot chocolate. The boy is also advised to be himself and not stress about it. He is also encouraged to make a move and tell the girl he likes her if she appears to be awkward or fidgety around him. Suggestions are given to talk to her in a casual setting and to ask about her interests. The conversation also includes
  • #1
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Theres a girl in my grade. I kind of like her and she might like me. How should i ask her if she likes me? When she's walking down the hall or something talking to one of her friends and i come by she stops and acts all wierd. Help me please.
 
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  • #2
It's not a good idea to actually ask a girl if she likes you because then you'll probably be seen as too direct. Just ask her if she wants to have a cup of coffee and see what happens is usually the best way to find out! Good luck. :smile:
 
  • #3
Don't ask her if she likes you! This will appear guarded and wimpish. Just talk to her normally and get to know each other and if she's worth it then she'll like you. Don't stress about it. And don't come out and ask her if she likes you! She'll feel awkward and pressured. Just be yourself ; )
 
  • #4
You're 13 eh? Cup of coffee might not work then. Hmmm it really depends on the local status quo. Ask to do something simple with you though, then if she likes you ask her to go out somewhere like movies, or whatever 'you' want to do.

I'd like to know what you mean by 'acts weird'. Exactly what does she do?
 
  • #5
Andromeda321 said:
Just ask her if she wants to have a cup of coffee and see what happens is usually the best way to find out! Good luck. :smile:
You might want to kick that down to a pop or hot chocolate—he's 13. :wink:

edit: Dang! That Smurf sneaked in on me.
 
  • #6
Smurf said:
I'd like to know what you mean by 'acts weird'. Exactly what does she do?

I don't know quiet, fidgety, just different.
 
  • #7
Would it be too infra dig to say you like her? According to you it's the truth, and if she selectlively fidgets when you're around it's a safe bet she'd like to hear it. Not to go overboard, but just a simple remark.
 
  • #8
selfAdjoint said:
Would it be too infra dig to say you like her? According to you it's the truth, and if she selectlively fidgets when you're around it's a safe bet she'd like to hear it. Not to go overboard, but just a simple remark.
Yeah, if she acts weird around you she likes you. :smile:
 
  • #9
Yea but she doesn't talk to me or anything. Is she waiting for me to talk to her?
 
  • #10
Evo said:
Yeah, if she acts weird around you she likes you. :smile:
Or you just creep her out.
 
  • #11
Someone502 said:
Yea but she doesn't talk to me or anything. Is she waiting for me to talk to her?
Probably. Do you have any friends in common with her?

I remember how I met my first boyfriend when I was 14. It was after a rock concert and I was waiting for my mother to come pick me up. Suddenly two boys surrounded me and started doing a scene from Shakespeare with me in the center of it. There were probably 400-500 people watching. Needless to say, he got my phone number. :shy:
 
  • #12
Someone502 said:
Yea but she doesn't talk to me or anything. Is she waiting for me to talk to her?
Pfft, you bet she is. Rare are the girls that will initiate something with a guy they like.
If you want to be sly, you could always ambush her somewhere like the Library. Here's a hypothetical situation: She's sitting in the Library, you see her and sit down at the next table or so. In a little bit (as in, not emediately) get up and ask her something about your homework, then thank her, and go back and sit down. A minute later you get up again and just talk to her, start by asking her about herself.
 
  • #13
Evo said:
Probably. Do you have any friends in common with her?

I remember how I met my first boyfriend when I was 14. It was after a rock concert and I was waiting for my mother to come pick me up. Suddenly two boys surrounded me and started doing a scene from Shakespeare with me in the center of it. There were probably 400-500 people watching. Needless to say, he got my phone number. :shy:
Yes! Another excellent idea, make a fool of yourself! (I'm serious, if you're that kind of person go for it.)
 
  • #14
Evo said:
Suddenly two boys surrounded me and started doing a scene from Shakespeare with me in the center of it.
Does this still work on you? Shakespeare isn't really my thing, but I can do a passable Bullwinkle... :biggrin:
 
  • #15
Smurf said:
Yes! Another excellent idea, make a fool of yourself! (I'm serious, if you're that kind of person go for it.)
Women like men with the guts to be different. Like wearing a dress to school. You have to have hutspah to carry off something like that. That would get my attention. :smile:
 
  • #16
Evo said:
Women like men with the guts to be different. Like wearing a dress to school. You have to have hutspah to carry off something like that. That would get my attention. :smile:
Mmmm, It did get a few girl's attention. I remember sitting in one of my classes that day and I glanced through the window on the door... There were 3 girls there (who I didnt know) jumping up and down mouthing 'I love you' and making gestures with their hands (you know, holding over their heart and then pointing at me).

But in the end it didn't help much, the girl I'm with now doesn't really appreciate all of my stunts.
 
  • #17
Danger said:
Does this still work on you? Shakespeare isn't really my thing, but I can do a passable Bullwinkle... :biggrin:
Bullwinkle: Watch me take a rabbit out of my hat.

My all time favorite is Elmer fudd and Bugs Bunny in Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen. (aka kill the Wabbit)
 
  • #18
Hmm...13, huh? Isn't that the age where you're supposed to ask your best friend to ask her best friend to ask her if she likes you, and then she tells her best friend who tells your best friend who tells you the answer, and then if it's yes, you ask your best friend to ask her best friend to ask her if she wants to go to a movie with you, or for a burger somewhere, or for ice cream or something like that, and then she tells her best friend to tell your best friend to tell you that the answer is yes, but she needs to ask her parents first, so you tell your best friend to tell her best friend...

Or have 13 year olds gotten more direct than they used to be?

Just ask her if she wants to go to a movie with you or get ice cream, or whatever the thing is folks your age do where you live. :wink:
 
  • #19
Smurf said:
Mmmm, It did get a few girl's attention. I remember sitting in one of my classes that day and I glanced through the window on the door... There were 3 girls there (who I didnt know) jumping up and down mouthing 'I love you' and making gestures with their hands (you know, holding over their heart and then pointing at me).

But in the end it didn't help much, the girl I'm with now doesn't really appreciate all of my stunts.
See, you would have caught my attention right away. But my friends were the type that pushed the envelope, but were also the smartest kids in the school, so got away with a bit more.
 
  • #20
Spear and magic hellllmet...
 
  • #21
FredGarvin said:
Spear and magic hellllmet...
You remember it. :approve:
 
  • #22
Moonbear said:
Hmm...13, huh? Isn't that the age where you're supposed to ask your best friend to ask her best friend to ask her if she likes you, and then she tells her best friend who tells your best friend who tells you the answer, and then if it's yes, you ask your best friend to ask her best friend to ask her if she wants to go to a movie with you, or for a burger somewhere, or for ice cream or something like that, and then she tells her best friend to tell your best friend to tell you that the answer is yes, but she needs to ask her parents first, so you tell your best friend to tell her best friend...

Or have 13 year olds gotten more direct than they used to be?

Just ask her if she wants to go to a movie with you or get ice cream, or whatever the thing is folks your age do where you live. :wink:
Yeah, whatever happened to communication networks? That system always worked great. All the details of your first date were already worked out by friends before either of you had to speak a word to each other. So what if all that gossip meant you were the last to know when she was going to break up with you? You still knew a month ahead of time so you could take that into consideration when deciding how much to spend on her valentine (everyone used to plan their break-ups to follow the next big homecoming dance or whatever - there's no sense missing the dance just because you don't like each other any more)
 
  • #23
BobG said:
Yeah, whatever happened to communication networks? That system always worked great. All the details of your first date were already worked out by friends before either of you had to speak a word to each other.
And sometimes before you even knew you liked each other, but that never seemed to matter.

So what if all that gossip meant you were the last to know when she was going to break up with you? You still knew a month ahead of time so you could take that into consideration when deciding how much to spend on her valentine (everyone used to plan their break-ups to follow the next big homecoming dance or whatever - there's no sense missing the dance just because you don't like each other any more)

:rofl: You're right. We used to be so much more practical about those things. Dates to school dances were more important than such silly things as liking each other (as if we even had an inkling of a clue of what love was at 13 anyway). Some couple screaming at each other in the middle of the school dance as they broke up in spectacular fashion was part of the expected entertainment. :biggrin:
 
  • #24
Moonbear said:
:rofl: You're right. We used to be so much more practical about those things. Dates to school dances were more important than such silly things as liking each other (as if we even had an inkling of a clue of what love was at 13 anyway). Some couple screaming at each other in the middle of the school dance as they broke up in spectacular fashion was part of the expected entertainment. :biggrin:
I remember my sister being kind of miffed at her soon-to-be ex boyfriend not wanting her to dance with her rumored-to-be next boyfriend at a dance. Well, duh!

Maybe everyone knows they went with each other just because it's too late to get another date, but geez... :rolleyes:

Personally, at that age, breaking up was usually the best part of dating. I could never stand being on a phone for more than about 30 seconds. In fact, I still can't. As soon as there starts to be gaps in my side of the conversation my wife gets mad - "I hope you're not doing that 'hurry-up' thing with your hands, again!" :rofl:
 
  • #25
Someone502 said:
Theres a girl in my grade. I kind of like her and she might like me. How should i ask her if she likes me? When she's walking down the hall or something talking to one of her friends and i come by she stops and acts all wierd. Help me please.

Man, there is only one thing you can do. COOK HER A NICE DINNER. The love of a woman goes through the stomach...

Don't take her to a restaurant, make the dinner yourself and make it special (you know, candles and stuff...sing her a song...do something she will not expect...catch her off guard...DON'T BRING IN FLOWERS though), show some initiative...show her what a real man you are by doing so...besides, in this case, she is already at your home :wink:

marlon

ps : it worked for me, several times :!)
 
  • #26
as an addendum : whatever you do, make sure she laughs her ass off...

marlon
 
  • #27
I would advise against cheesy pick up lines, like "Hey baby, nice bosons" or "Damn, girl! I'd like to collapse your wave function!"

Just not a good idea.

[tex]Pi[/tex]

The Rev
 
  • #28
NEVER BRING UP SCIENCE IN ITS MOST DIRECT MANIFESTATION...

and talk about what she likes, you must be interested in her micro-universe...Then , when you are living together, adapt yours to her universe or you will end up in a wavefunction-collapse

marlon

BUT once again : GO FOR THE DINNER :biggrin:
 
  • #29
marlon said:
NEVER BRING UP SCIENCE IN ITS MOST DIRECT MANIFESTATION...

and talk about what she likes, you must be interested in her micro-universe...Then , when you are living together, adapt yours to her universe or you will end up in a wavefunction-collapse

marlon

BUT once again : GO FOR THE DINNER :biggrin:

Instead of wavefunctions, sometimes, at that point, nerves will collapse. I have even observed meltdowns and breakdowns, especially in cold temperatures, when there's like 4h light per day.

Oh, yeah, some advice also: Marlon's dinner suggestion can't go wrong. If you sing or play an instrument, dazzling her with a performanse isn't a bad idea either.
 
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  • #30
Thanks Joel

marlon

you clearly know how women 'work'
 
  • #31
Your welcome, Marlon.

But this time I was just a parrot.
 
  • #32
Joel said:
But this time I was just a parrot.

Don't worry, that proves intelligence...being a parrot can be a very efficient way of operating

marlon
 
  • #33
Smurf said:
You're 13 eh? Cup of coffee might not work then. Hmmm it really depends on the local status quo. Ask to do something simple with you though, then if she likes you ask her to go out somewhere like movies, or whatever 'you' want to do.

I'd like to know what you mean by 'acts weird'. Exactly what does she do?

And i thought i was going to be the first one to notice.

I would give advice, but people who follow my advice end up like me, so i'll spare you and not accelerate the inevitable jadedness.
 
  • #34
I would love a guy to make dinner for me. Excellent advice. Also poetry and if you play an instrument that is wonderful. A guy wrote me a poem then recorded himself reading it, first in Italian (his language), then translated into English and gave me the cd in a case that he did a beautiful art cover for. Girls love that kind of thing. He also made me cds of music that he composed and played. These personal things are so much more touching than something bought at a store.
 
  • #35
if you write poetry, make sure it is not lame. Keep it funny and witty...I once wrote a poem for my girlfriend, titled : what a woman she is...

If you speak Italian, you have a big advantange.

marlon
 

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