I'm about to do something dangerous

[Evo]

Ok, I'm such a klutz that just about anything I attempt is dangerous.

Thanks to the recent 70mph winds, my weeping willow tree had the top break and is now touching the ground. Unfortunately it didn't completely break off. It's a really large section with very thick branches.

Sure, I could call a tree service, but I have a ladder and a saw.

I decided not to get a chainsaw because I would certainly end up removing a critical body part.

I will probably be out there all day sawing on the thing. But I can't mow around the tree until it's removed. If I don't remove this soon, the yard police will take me away.

Which brings me to Part II - Lawn Wars. My next door neighbor is a freak about mowing his yard. He is now mowing it every three days. Plus he mows it everytime I mow mine. I tested this a couple of times the past month by deliberately mowing my yard the day after he mowed his. Obviously his yard did NOT need mowing again, but as soon as I finished mowing, he mowed his again. It's rather funny.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Once you get that piece detached, don't throw it away. You'll have the makings of a good brush shelter. I so envy you.

 

[cronxeh]

millions of years of evolution.. and we are mowing lawns

 

[Evo]

millions of years of evolution.. and we are mowing lawns

I need sheep.

zoobie, with all the branches from tree pruning yesterday, I have a very fine brush shelter. The cats are loving it.

Also, I just realized how much my right shoulder and arm hurt from all of the sawing and pruning I did yesterday.

 

[Hurkyl]

You seem in need of a devil's advocate!

It might not be safe to even be around the tree -- there's no telling if there is enough strain to finish the process, and you don't want to be nearby when it finally snaps!

And when you do finally cut it, where is it going to fall? Could it teeter over and crush something nearby? Or maybe it will fall towards you and knock over the ladder...

 

[Evo]

You seem in need of a devil's advocate!

It might not be safe to even be around the tree -- there's no telling if there is enough strain to finish the process, and you don't want to be nearby when it finally snaps!

And when you do finally cut it, where is it going to fall? Could it teeter over and crush something nearby? Or maybe it will fall towards you and knock over the ladder...

Probably all of the above. Main reason I'm not using a chainsaw, I can see me dropping it on my leg, or it falling to the ground and me falling on top of it. At least I have a fighting chance with a handsaw.

What I am doing is cutting small sections, from the ground up. Trimming off the small branches with my loppers first, then moving up the length with the saw. Since I am afraid of heights, it just adds to the fun.

I'm already back inside taking a break.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I'm already back inside taking a break.

Oh good I can breath again!

Yep, chainsaws and trees can both be pretty dangerous. I have a 36" Husky but I prefer not to even use it. My little 18" Craftsman works just fine for nearly all jobs.

 

[Hurkyl]

Eep! Hope you don't cut anything helping support it...

 

[BicycleTree]

You should use a winch so you can control which way the tree falls. Attach the winch to a solid object in the direction you want the tree to fall, and attach the cable to the tree. Then crank it tight, saw some of the tree, crank it tight again, saw some more, and so on until it falls over. Saw from the outside, not the inside so it does not trap the saw.

 

[Astronuc]

Ok, I'm such a klutz that just about anything I attempt is dangerous.

Thanks to the recent 70mph winds, my weeping willow tree had the top break and is now touching the ground. Unfortunately it didn't completely break off. It's a really large section with very thick branches.

Sure, I could call a tree service, but I have a ladder and a saw.

Worried as h***! I think I just aged 20 yrs.

Please be very careful - I'd rather you call someone.

Sawing branches or trunks can be hazardous. The weight can be significant. If you have to get on a ladder, I would advise against it.

How much do you have done?

 

[Evo]

The tree itself seems sturdy, it's just that top part.

There was a nice strong breeze this morning, of course now there is no breeze at all. I think my biggest concern now is heart failure. <pant>

Man, that is a LOT of wood. It was such a beautiful tree and now it is lopsided. It was the child of Evo's favorite tree, we planted it together. She won't even go in the back and look at it.

 

[Evo]

Worried as h***! I think I just aged 20 yrs.

Please be very careful - I'd rather you call someone.

Sawing branches or trunks can be hazardous. The weight can be significant. If you have to get on a ladder, I would advise against it.

How much do you have done?

About 4' up, but willows branch a lot, so we're talking about a wide area.

I hear a lot of creaking above me, but there is a very strong branch above me that it would fall on that should stop it from hitting me.

I kid a lot, but seriously, I'm super safe, I have to be because I am so uncoordinated.

 

[Astronuc]

I hear a lot of creaking above me, but there is a very strong branch above me that it would fall on that should stop it from hitting me.

I presume strong branch means thick (massive) branch. I may be fine unless it gets overloaded, especially near the trunk and peels away.

Since you seemed determined to do this, please be careful!

 

[brewnog]

Ahhh quit worrying about her!

Go and chop that tree, Evo!

 

[Evo]

Ahhh quit worrying about her!

Go and chop that tree, Evo!

See? Brewnog has faith in me! But that's probably because he didn't read the "klutz" entry in my journal. The burn from melting the wrench when I changed my lawn mower battery has healed nicely. :shy:

 

[JamesU]

Wouldn't an axe be easier than the hand saw?

 

[Evo]

Wouldn't an axe be easier than the hand saw?

The branches move too much, easier with the little curved saw.

 

[Monique]

Just compliment your neighbour on his garden and complain about the tree, the problem might fix itself :)

 

[brewnog]

Evo, since I didn't realize how much of a klutz you are, I'll change my advice.


Go and buy a flexible saw, tie some nice long cords onto it, tie a weight to one of the ropes, and chuck it over the branch. Stand well back, and saw away!

 

[Evo]

Just compliment your neighbour on his garden and complain about the tree, the problem might fix itself :)

Not him, he's probably thrilled that I'm dealing with this, it makes his yard look better.

 

[Hurkyl]

See? Brewnog has faith in me!

Or trying to get rid of you...

 

[Evo]

See? Brewnog has faith in me!

Or trying to get rid of you...

 

[Astronuc]

While hammering and picking at an 1-ft deep x 8-ft long formation of stone in the backyard, it occurred to me that you should use a tree pruning saw. It has a curved blade and 10-12ft pole section. Tree crews use them, and I have one for branches several inches thick up to 12 ft off the ground. One does not have to use a ladder and one can stay back from the tree and danger.

 

[zoobyshoe]

While hammering and picking at an 1-ft deep x 8-ft long formation of stone in the backyard...

Don't pick at that. It's part of a stargate.

 

[Evo]

While hammering and picking at an 1-ft deep x 8-ft long formation of stone in the backyard, it occurred to me that you should use a tree pruning saw. It has a curved blade and 10-12ft pole section. Tree crews use them, and I have one for branches several inches thick up to 12 ft off the ground. One does not have to use a ladder and one can stay back from the tree and danger.

I've seen those. I think I will have to get something like that to finish the job. The branches I don't want to cut are an obstacle.

 

[cronxeh]

Tune In Next Week, when Evo will attempt to install a bird feeder on that tree

 

[Danger]

One does not have to use a ladder and one can stay back from the tree and danger.

Hey now! How'd you know I was going to volunteer to hold the ladder? Are you wearing a skirt, Evo?

 

[FredGarvin]

Dirty old man...

 

[Danger]

Dirty old man...

Generally, yes. Doesn't count when the target is older than me, though.

 

[FredGarvin]

Ahhhh...a loophole!

 

[Evo]

Generally, yes. Doesn't count when the target is older than me, though.

Uhm

Wait a minute.

 

[Danger]

Uhm

Wait a minute.

Although, I hasten to add, looks far, far younger...

I'm not getting out of this that easily, am I?

 

[Moonbear]

While hammering and picking at an 1-ft deep x 8-ft long formation of stone in the backyard, it occurred to me that you should use a tree pruning saw. It has a curved blade and 10-12ft pole section. Tree crews use them, and I have one for branches several inches thick up to 12 ft off the ground. One does not have to use a ladder and one can stay back from the tree and danger.

They also make ones like brewnog suggested, that are attached to rope on either side. You toss one end of the rope up and over the branch, then stand nice and far away while sawing with the rope. You can use it to free the main trunk without having to get on a ladder stand up too close, then the rest is all the easy ground work. You really should do this project while child of Evo is home so she can call the ambulance if you fall off the ladder.

Then again, I shouldn't talk. As I was cleaning gutters and repairing some siding yesterday, the only way to get at it was to climb across the roof over my deck...some metal contraption supported at the 4 corners. I got up onto the roof and started to walk toward the side of the house I needed to work on, and realized the roof is not really all that sturdy for walking on. Does this stop me and convince me to call in a professional? Nope. I have some beautiful bruises on my legs from crawling across the roof trying to spread my weight out as much as possible. But my neighbor was having a party in the backyard, so I figured if I fell through, someone would notice and call an ambulance. Other than bruises my roof and I are both intact. But it only would have been an 8 ft drop if I did fall, so I wasn't too worried. I've fallen off a higher roof than that before and didn't have any injuries other than a few scratches from the rhododendrons I fell into.

 

[JamesU]

About the higher roof, why were you on it in the first place

 

[hypatia]

Today I did something really stupid. I tried to pour my own cement...from a cement company that sells it mixed in a trailer you tow behind your car. It was too much weight for my car and even tho I was doing only 15 mph, I couldn't stop and ended up flipping the trailer and dumping 4 sq yards of wet cement across the road.
So I call my motley crew of 3, and we shovel it all up, while it starts to rain, then pour. Which was the only good thing, the rain kept the cement from setting up.
So we get it back to my place where it dumps all over my driveway. So we shovel it into buckets and fill in the rat wall. I take the trailer back ..its damaged, 2,700.00 dollars was my cost for the day.
Talk about sore, moving 3500 pounds of cement twice, there is not a inch on my body that doesn't hurt.
But, I am alive to tell the tale. Tho I haven't stopped shaking yet.

 

[zoobyshoe]

A truly trying day. You'll feel better tomorrow, though. And, yes, I've done stuff like that.

 

[hypatia]

At one point I was just standing there soaked to the bone, screaming at the cars with a shovel in my hands..untill my son pointed out that the little kids would forever call me "that crazy lady with the shovel"...

 

[Moonbear]

About the higher roof, why were you on it in the first place

Cleaning gutters and helping trim tree branches that were hanging over it. A tree branch took me with it when I tried shoving it away from the house as it got cut so it wouldn't hit the house. I never complained about being made to do somersaults in gym class again (I was a teenager when I did that stunt). It all happened too fast for me to know what was going on. One moment I was standing on the roof holding a tree branch and the next I was on the ground in the middle of rhododendron bushes. But, my sister and next-door neighbor were playing in the yard across the street and had a clear view of the whole thing. They told me I did a perfect somersault, grabbed the gutter, and landed feet first in the bushes. For being the dorky kid who hated gym class (I was always the one picked last), apparently I could be pretty athletic when falling from a roof. If you're going to fall off a roof, I highly recommend doing it with style. (Oh, and it wasn't a LOT higher, just another couple feet, standard first floor roof...but it doesn't sound as impressive if I tell you that right away.)

 

[Evo]

Today I did something really stupid. I tried to pour my own cement...from a cement company that sells it mixed in a trailer you tow behind your car. It was too much weight for my car and even tho I was doing only 15 mph, I couldn't stop and ended up flipping the trailer and dumping 4 sq yards of wet cement across the road.
So I call my motley crew of 3, and we shovel it all up, while it starts to rain, then pour. Which was the only good thing, the rain kept the cement from setting up.
So we get it back to my place where it dumps all over my driveway. So we shovel it into buckets and fill in the rat wall. I take the trailer back ..its damaged, 2,700.00 dollars was my cost for the day.
Talk about sore, moving 3500 pounds of cement twice, there is not a inch on my body that doesn't hurt.
But, I am alive to tell the tale. Tho I haven't stopped shaking yet.

You poor thing! What a horrible day! Ok, that makes my worst day seem like a picnic!

(Pours a pitcher of green apple martinis into hypatia's computer)

Hmmm...

(pours a second pitcher of green apple martinis into hypatia's computer and hopes hypatia drinks )

 

[JamesU]

You did an unintentional somersault?

 

[hypatia]

I'm putting my head right under the monitor...not going to miss a drop. Thank you, I needed that.

 

[JamesU]

Just make sure it's not cement

 

[zoobyshoe]

At one point I was just standing there soaked to the bone, screaming at the cars with a shovel in my hands..untill my son pointed out that the little kids would forever call me "that crazy lady with the shovel"...

Hehehehehe...on another forum somewhere on the other side of the net is somone posting a description of "the crazy cement lady with the shovel" they saw while out driving today.

My muffler came off once in slow, but heavy traffic. I had no idea what had just happened, but the sudden noise made me check all the mirrors, and I looked back just in time to see a truck flatten my poor muffler to a pancake. People started to honk at me, and so on. There was nowhere to pull over to walk back and retrieve it, though, without stopping everyone behind me, so I had to go about a mile further, the engine now sounding as loud as a helecopter. It's just so great when stuff like that happens to you on a public roadway with plenty of traffic to stare at you.

 

[Danger]

They also make ones like brewnog suggested, that are attached to rope on either side. You toss one end of the rope up and over the branch, then stand nice and far away while sawing with the rope.

Doesn't anybody cut their trees with explosives any more?

I was cleaning gutters and repairing some siding yesterday, the only way to get at it was to climb across the roof over my deck... ...I've fallen off a higher roof than that before and didn't have any injuries other than a few scratches from the rhododendrons I fell into.

I've always known that you have screwy dietary habits, but now your hobbies are starting to worry me too.

At one point I was just standing there soaked to the bone, screaming at the cars with a shovel in my hands..untill my son pointed out that the little kids would forever call me "that crazy lady with the shovel"...

They don't already?

You did an unintentional somersault?

That's the best kind.

Take another look at her avatar. She always lands on her feet. (Well, there are exceptions, but you're too young to hear about them.)

 

[Moonbear]

You did an unintentional somersault?

It sure wasn't intentional. I didn't have time to think, just reacted. I wouldn't have known I did a somersault if nobody told me.

Hypatia, that sounds awful! What a mess! At least now I know tow-your-own-cement is not an option to even consider (I'd never even heard of such a thing before). For small jobs, I mix it myself, and for larger jobs, well, I've avoided those so far.

 

[JamesU]

At least it wasn't on the 101 highway in Phoenix (I know it wasn't because you'd have been shot)

Once my dad was driving in downtown Phoenix. He had a brand new countertop in the back.(we fix up houses and sell them) He couldn't close the gate all the way, the countertop was too big, so he restrained it with rope. All the sudden, he hears a crashing noise, he looks back. Half of his countertop had fallen and been flattened.

We had to put the old counterop back in, which was an ugly blue, and sell the house. We still have the other half of the countertop. Now, the lady who moved into the house says the oven doesn't work, and we're trying to relace it.(The people at Lowe's Hardware weren't really helping either.

EDIT: this is to zoobyshoe's post

 

[JamesU]

WHOA! When I posted my last post, the entire background went white!

 

[Danger]

WHOA! When I posted my last post, the entire background went white!

One of those freak Arizona blizzards?

 

[Moonbear]

Take another look at her avatar. She always lands on her feet. (Well, there are exceptions, but you're too young to hear about them.)

Yep, always land on my feet. Though, I'm starting to worry I might have used up most of my 9 lives already.

 

[Evo]

I use sakrete, but I've only done small jobs.

I am terrified of heights. The ONLY time I have ever been on a roof was when I lived in Chicago and I had been out at a nightclub and got home around midnight. I had a babysitter for my girls. I would come in through the garage and always left the inside door from the garage into the house unlocked. For some strange reason, the babysitter had gone into the garage and had locked the door when she came back in.

I got home, drove the babysitter home and then pulled back into the garage with the girls (the babysitter was not the type to put them to bed, and they didn't mind ) When we tried to go inside, we were locked out. I didn't have my house keys with me because I didn't think I'd need them.

All the downstairs windows were locked. I remembered that the upstairs hall bathroom window was unlocked. I got the ladder out of the garage, leaned it against the house, climbed up, shimmied across the roof toward the hall window and crawled up over a very steep gable, forced the window open and plummeted into the bathroom. All this in total darkness.

My girls have to this day considered me to be wonder woman for getting us into the house.