It looks like your original guess is correct, that the only vectors which work are multiples of (1,1,1) (there's nothing like working with the right matrix). I'll start you off on showing this, as I'm not supposed to do the whole problem for you.
We have A = ##\begin{pmatrix}
3&1&0\\
1&3&1\\
0&1&3
\end{pmatrix}##
If ||A|| is the largest row sum we have ||A|| = 5. We are to find a vector X = (a,b,c) such that
||AX|| = 5||X||.
We know that AX =##\begin{pmatrix}
3a + b\\
a + 3b + c\\
b + 3c
\end{pmatrix}##
Suppose ||X|| = a. Then we want ||AX|| = 5a, which means
3a + b = 5a or a + 3b + c = 5a or b + 3c = 5a.
The first equation gives b = 2a, which contradicts that ||X|| = a.
The second & third equations give
3b + c = 4a
b + 3c = 5a
Solve these two equations for b and c in terms of a (just the usual 2 equations in 2 unknowns). This solution should give you another contradiction allowing you to conclude that ||X|| ≠ a (if we want an X that works).
If you try to take ||X|| = c, you will get the same result because the situation is symmetric. That leaves ||X|| = b. Set up your 3 equations again, and you can show that they give a = b = c, but that no other solution is available.
Re the word "diagonal" really there is no alternate definition, so I'm inclined to think your prof just had a typo. He could have said A is symmetric, which at least is correct, although I couldn't have deciphered the 1,3,1 into which symmetric matrix he wanted.