Is Your Ass Too Small for Wheelies?

  • Thread starter JamesU
  • Start date
In summary: but seriously though, if you try to kick his ass, you're going to get your foot stuck in the hole and then you'll both be really mad.

Does smurf really kick ass?

  • lots of asses

    Votes: 10 37.0%
  • asses kicked= 0

    Votes: 17 63.0%

  • Total voters
    27
  • #1
JamesU
Gold Member
815
3
I'm sure most of the answers will be no...
 
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  • #2
I'm sorry, but with the double entendre, there was only one choice...
 
  • #3
Just the fact you needed a poll to prove it proves that it was controversial enough that I had to kick some ass. It's a fact.
 
  • #4
Smurf said:
Just the fact you needed a poll to prove it proves that it was controversial enough that I had to kick some ass. It's a fact.
Kicking your own ass doesn't count Smurf. Even if you can do it with both feet. :biggrin:
 
  • #5
bah! you're all just jealous of my ass kicking skillza!
 
  • #6
Never kick an ass, especially when walking behind it. Instead of making the ass walk a little faster, it will kick back - and the kick from a full grown ass could prove fatal.

Even if you avoid the wrath of a very annoyed ass, you'll never escape the wrath of PETA.
 
  • #7
Smurf, you do kick ass!
 
  • #8
BobG said:
Never kick an ass, especially when walking behind it. Instead of making the ass walk a little faster, it will kick back - and the kick from a full grown ass could prove fatal.

Even if you avoid the wrath of a very annoyed ass, you'll never escape the wrath of PETA.

Good one, BobG :smile:

So is the ass-kicking scale like a Kelvin scale? Can you have an absolute zero? :confused: Is it possible to kick absolutely no ass?
 
  • #9
Artman said:
Kicking your own ass doesn't count Smurf. Even if you can do it with both feet. :biggrin:
Does it count if you try to kick someone's ass, but trip yourself and land on your own instead? :-p

Math Is Hard said:
Good one, BobG :smile:

So is the ass-kicking scale like a Kelvin scale? Can you have an absolute zero? :confused: Is it possible to kick absolutely no ass?
Sure; just look at Peewee Herman.
 
  • #10
Danger said:
Sure; just look at Peewee Herman.

Nonsense! Even Peewee must have it in him, somewhere. He just needs to channel his inner http://www.nomoreaffleck.com/Resources/dustinscreecha.jpeg .
 
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  • #11
hypnagogue said:
He just needs to channel his inner http://www.nomoreaffleck.com/Resources/dustinscreecha.jpeg .
Okay, I give. Who the hell is that? Up here, screech is a particularly raucous form of alcoholic beverage from the Maritimes. If he were channelling that stuff, there'd be no stopping him.
 
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  • #12
Screech was the token dork from Saved by the Bell, one of the all-time most popular Saturday morning TV shows in the US.

Smurf does not kick any ass. Not a single one. Even his own ass kicks him.
 
  • #13
loseyourname said:
Screech was the token dork from Saved by the Bell, one of the all-time most popular Saturday morning TV shows in the US.

Here he is a youngster: link

He was probably the most infamous nerd/dork in America during the late 80s/early 90s, along with http://www.trilon.com/wedding/trip/images/misc/urkel.jpg from Family Matters.

Screech probably became psychologically scarred from all this, which is why he went on to kick old man http://www.corporateartists.com/images/ronpalillo.jpg ass on Fox's Celebrity Boxing.

Smurf does not kick any ass. Not a single one. Even his own ass kicks him.

That must be some sort of negative ass kicking. So much for the absolute zero.
 
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  • #14
hypnagogue said:
That must be some sort of negative ass kicking. So much for the absolute zero.
Okay. We got all of those shows here, but I never watched the school one. Urkel's voice haunts me to this day, along with Horschak's laugh.
I think that the negative must be when you try to kick your own ass and you get your foot stuck. :eek:
 
  • #15
Smurf said:
bah! you're all just jealous of my ass kicking skillza!

If you look at the poll...you're losing :biggrin:
 
  • #16
yomamma said:
If you look at the poll...you're losing :biggrin:
What I want to know is how he bypassed the 'one vote per customer' filters to get any red up there at all. :-p
 
  • #17
I don't know...smurf?
 
  • #18
mattmns said:
Smurf, you do kick ass!
Yeah mattmns! You know what you're talking about!
 
  • #19
Smurf said:
Yeah mattmns! You know what you're talking about!
People who really kick ass recognize sarcasm when they see it... :-p
 
  • #20
I voted that Smurf kicks ass. If I didn't, there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass -- so better safe than ass-kicked!
 
  • #21
I still have 39% of the vote. I'm more than satisfied with that. I don't need to be popular with everyone.
 
  • #22
Math Is Hard said:
there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass
And there's a chance that an enraged squirrel could chew the tires off of my car some night, but I'm not losing sleep over it.
 
  • #23
math is hard, smurf could not kick your ass. you'd kick his ass 12 times before he could kick yours once. Just look at the results! :smile:
 
  • #24
Math Is Hard said:
I voted that Smurf kicks ass. If I didn't, there's a chance he might get mad and kick my ass
Hey Smurf, I'll hold it (MIH's ass) for you while you kick. :-p

Just trying to lend a hand where needed. o:)
 
  • #25
Artman said:
Hey Smurf, I'll hold it (MIH's ass) for you while you kick. :-p

Just trying to lend a hand where needed. o:)

smurf? is he your personal B**ch?
 
  • #26
Artman said:
Just trying to lend a hand where needed. o:)
what a pal! :smile:

Speaking of asses, this thread just reminded me of something...

How to tell if your ass is too small:
http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~chaps/up_your_ass.jpg
 
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  • #27
ass ass ass ass! It's so fun! :smile:
 
  • #28
Math Is Hard said:
what a pal! :smile:

Speaking of asses, this thread just reminded me of something...

How to tell if your ass is too small:
http://www-leland.stanford.edu/~chaps/up_your_ass.jpg
I[/URL] love the way everyone just walks past as if nothing is wrong. :smile: I've been laughing about this picture for two days now. :smile:
 
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  • #29
I guess he does kick ass, with his own definition of kicking.
I'm not sure what precise definition he uses, but I would assume it includes that one of his limbs has approached some ass through generating a non-zero collision velocity by some mechanism.
As for the precise nature of the actual impact, I have no opinion whatsoever.

I still voted no, though.
 
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  • #30
Math Is Hard said:
How to tell if your ass is too small:

:smile: :smile: :smile: That is freakin' hilarious! And I always thought you needed a lot more asspower than that to pull a wheelie.
 

Related to Is Your Ass Too Small for Wheelies?

1. What are wheelies?

Wheelies are a type of motorcycle stunt where the front wheel of the motorcycle is lifted off the ground while the back wheel remains on the ground.

2. How do you perform a wheelie?

To perform a wheelie, the rider must accelerate quickly while simultaneously pulling back on the handlebars and shifting their weight towards the back of the motorcycle. This lifts the front wheel off the ground.

3. Is it dangerous to do wheelies?

Yes, performing wheelies can be dangerous if not done properly. It requires a lot of skill and practice, and if not executed correctly, can result in accidents and injuries.

4. Can anyone do wheelies?

No, performing wheelies requires a certain level of skill and experience. It is not recommended for beginners or inexperienced riders to attempt wheelies.

5. How do I know if my ass is too small for wheelies?

There is no specific size requirement for performing wheelies. As long as the rider has enough strength and control to shift their weight and handle the motorcycle, the size of their ass should not affect their ability to do wheelies.

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