There are multiple ways of describing the situation.
What needs to be decided straight off to answer the question in terms of rulers is to decide what rulers measure and how they work. Either rulers change their length when a gravitational wave passes, or they don't. They can't do both if one wants a self-consistent explanation. One has to decide which definition applies, and have a shared understanding between the explainor and the explainee.
If one regard a ruler as something made out of something physically rigid (to the extent that's possible - nothing is perfectly rigid), one can regard rulers as not changing length ever, and gravitational waves won't change their length either. This is consistent with the SI definition of the ruler, where one regards rulers as having a constant light round-trip travel time, and the speed of light being a defined physical constant.
Using this line of reasoning, one concludes from the fact that the ruler measures an increase in the distance between the test masses that the test masses must actually move due to the gravitational wave.
I frequently find people who do not seem to realize that the test masses to which the mirrors of the interferometer are mounted are designed to be able to move freely. The test masses are suspended in such a manner as to allow them to move freely (in two dimensions at least, the masses are supported by pendulii to support them against gravity so they can't move in the direciton in which they are suspended). This freedom to move is part of the design of LIGO.
Now, it's also perfectly consistent to regard physical rulers as stretching, which to my mind somewhat defeats the whole purpose of having a ruler in the first place, and is also not consistent with the SI definitions. You'd think that such explanations would not be popular, or at least people would mention that they're not using the standard SI defintions when presenting this sort of epxlanation, but this turns out not to be the case. There's nothing actually wrong with these explanations , however, if they are interpreted and understood correctly. Frequently, though, they cause more confusion than they prevent - in my opinoin, at least.