hi bcrowell!
bcrowell said:
It seems to me that you're making an argument like this: Suppose you start with a vertex with two charged particles and one neutral particle. Then by continuously deforming the vertex you can make either charged particle change its role from that of an absorbed particle to that of an emitted particle. So in order to preserve charge conservation, you need to adopt the convention about forward and backward being interpreted as matter and antimatter.
I don't have any objection to your argument, but it starts from the assumption that it should be legal to continuously deform a vertex in any way. It seems to me that the OP is asking why we can't forbid deformations that turn a forward-going particle into a backward-going particle.
(i don't understand what you mean by "deforming a vertex"

)
no, I'm saying that quantum field theory represents any creation operator by a "field" composed, on an equal basis, of creation operators for particles and annihilation operators for anti-particles …
the justification for this is basically "
that it works!" (ok, i know there are more sophisticated arguments

) …
but when we ask why something is the way it is
in a Feynman diagram, surely we're talking in Feynman diagram language, ie as if the diagram actually represents a physical process? …
so instead of giving the mathematical reason for defining "field" that way, and continuing in terms of momentum-preserving delta functions etc, we talk as if the diagram represents a series of collisions, with each vertex representing a single collision …
in
those terms, the correct mathematical explanation translates into one about electrons etc being destroyed or created, and conservation of momentum charge etc
(though i like
GreyBadger's CP = T explanation also

)