Online Dating: Stories, Thoughts & Experiences

[Mk]

Anybody here ever try online dating? I think it is starting to get more credit from back when it started—people are complete losers that try it, and that nothing good ever culminates. Are there any stores, thoughts, or personal experiences with it from people here?

 

[hypatia]

I met my {now} husband on line. In a large breed dog rescue chat site. We chatted about a year befor I felt comfortable enough to meet. Then I made him meet me in the lobby of my local Police Dept. Cop friends of mine ran his plates then gave me a nod, lol, he had no police history, and in fact was a reserve cop in another county.
We had made plans to go to a movie, so I called my son and invited him and his girlfriend to join us. Later he told me that it was much worse then his first dates as a teen, when you had to meet the fathers.
We dated about a year and a half then married. Honestly, if I had met him befor knowing him via chat, I wouldn't of paid any mind to him at all. Mostly because if he dosent know you, he is really shy.

 

[Evo]

For the past 10 years, I have only dated men I met online. The quality of men I meet online far surpass those I meet locally.

I know several people on PF right now that have significant others that they met online.

 

[russ_watters]

I've been on a number of dates through eHarmony in the past two years and I guess you could say two turned into "relationships". So far, I've yet to have what I would call a "bad" date and would agree with Evo that the quality is better, but just as important, you know what you are getting ahead of time.

My sister met her now fiance on Match.com and it is kinda funny - she hasn't told my parents that and didn't even tell me until they had been dating for a year. I guess she felt a little weird about it - an opinion shared more by girls than guys in my experience. I guess that's because "meant to be" means Romeo should be picking you up at a bar, with a cheezy pick-up line.

 

[Moonbear]

I guess that's because "meant to be" means Romeo should be picking you up at a bar, with a cheezy pick-up line.

Okay, I'm never the typical "girl" anyway, so I guess that's why I don't mind telling people I met the guy currently sitting next to me online. We actually met at the OKCupid site (would have never met him on eHarmony since apparently they actually DO reject some people, and I guess he's too weird for them, but just right for me. ). But, I didn't go looking for anyone there...was just having fun goofing around with the quizzes Evo and others kept posting from there...so it was more of a way of just finding similarly goofy people who share an interest. My first message to him was to laugh at OKCupid matching us as a "local" match when we live about 9 hours apart.

 

[dontdisturbmycircles]

While I haven't ventured into internet dating websites yet, I can testify that they can work. I have relatives who met online and are now married (Going on 3 years now I think, though the relationship is probably going on more like 6 years) :-)

 

[Evo]

My sister met her now fiance on Match.com and it is kinda funny - she hasn't told my parents that and didn't even tell me until they had been dating for a year. I guess she felt a little weird about it - an opinion shared more by girls than guys in my experience. I guess that's because "meant to be" means Romeo should be picking you up at a bar, with a cheezy pick-up line.

I think the stigma goes back to placing adds in the "personals" section of the local paper. That was for people that couldn't even get picked up in a bar.

Now you'd be amazed at who are on online dating services.

 

[out of whack]

No personal experience here, my marriage predates the world wide web. But my brother has used an online service after his divorce and thinks highly of it, at least as an introductory service. Instead of haphazardly fumbling through the bar scene and other places without knowing anything about anyone there, these services gave him a head start by locating partners that are at least likely to be compatible. He had a few short dates that didn't click but which he found pleasant nonetheless since both individuals knew and accepted that such a relatively formal meeting may not provide a match, which removes a lot of the pressure. It appears to be a perfectly good approach.

Of course, there are successes and failures just like any other forms of dating. My brother found love and dated one lady for about a year before having a fallout that broke his heart. Hey, this is real life. Some time later he eventually went back "on the market" as he called it. After a few introductions he found his current match. I think it has been two years now, and things are going well.

Overall, online dating services seem perfectly fine and I don't think there is much stigma attached to them anymore, if any.

 

[NeoDevin]

My biggest problem with the online scene (and no, I haven't tried it, I'm already married to someone I met at a bar ) Is that the people you meet might have too much in common, your attitudes towards life will be too similar. The reason my wife and I work so well together is because of our differences. She is very home oriented, and excellent at planning, where I'm more action/career oriented and spontaneous. If I went online looking for someone who was like me, I wouldn't have as good of a home life as she makes for me, and nothing would ever get planned in advance. As it is, we get the best of both worlds.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

My brother met his wife online and they just clicked. Given the history of how human beings met their spouses, I doubt that the web is much better or worse than any other meet market.

 

[Moonbear]

Of course, there are successes and failures just like any other forms of dating.

True. I've certainly met complete duds online too, but I think with a bit less frequency than meeting guys in bars and such. If you're not a church-goer, so aren't going to meet people through those sorts of functions, are are past school age (of whatever level), so aren't going to meet like-minded people there, it's hard to find venues to meet single people with things in common and a way to get to know them enough to decide they're worth dating. I started out as a total skeptic on the whole internet dating thing after looking at profile after profile and thinking, "Ewwwwwwww! No wonder they're still single!" But, then, I think the same thing when guys hit on me in bars too. And, then I stumbled across someone nice while not even looking to meet anyone, and that's similar to meeting someone nice who just happens to cross your path in any other venue. And it sure works better than having the meddling relatives trying to set you up on blind dates!

Oh, and not everyone I know who met online met through dating sites either. Some of the people I know have met through forums where people with similar interests will gather.

Of course, you do also have more cases of people pretending to be someone they aren't that you have to watch out for. Not just the guy in the bar who says he's a doctor when he works as a construction worker, but the person with photos of an attractive woman who isn't even female, or who doesn't match those photos, or who does a mysterious disappearing act when you suggest meeting in person. People can lie about things about themselves in person too, but not to the same extent that they can pretend to be someone completely different as they can online.

Talking to my friends, I'm learning that more and more professional women are looking for dates this way, so I would assume (or hope) more professional men are using this approach too. They're the ones who don't have time or interest to go hang out at a lot of bars and clubs or church suppers just trying to meet up with someone to date. You can apply simple filtering criteria like, "Can he string more than two sentences together, and use words with more than two syllables?" or, "Did anything in his message indicate he bothered to read past the photo?" (I get a lot of those messages on OKCupid too, and they just get deleted.)

 

[Moonbear]

the people you meet might have too much in common, your attitudes towards life will be too similar. The reason my wife and I work so well together is because of our differences.

Actually, that's less of a problem with online dating as it is a problem with people's lack of insight into what really makes a good partner for themselves. You need to have some things in common, but sometimes, as you say, the differences are what make the relationship work if they complement each other well. For example, I'm very organized, like to plan things ahead, and am rather stubborn that my way is of course the right way. If I met a guy just like that, we'd spend more time fighting and trying to kill each other than getting anything done. On the other hand, someone too different, who never plans anything, and was completely disorganized would drive me nuts. Instead, someone who is somewhat organized, can keep to a schedule, but is laid back about things and doesn't really care if someone else wants to do all the planning works well for me.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The last time that I dated, there was no such thing as "online".

 

[Mk]

The last time that I dated, there was no such thing as "online".

Jeez, I know. I didn't even use the internet until less than ten years ago, let alone date anybody.

since apparently they actually DO reject some people, and I guess he's too weird for them, but just right for me.

What? What kind of rejection letter do they give you? "You're too weird for us"?

 

[radou]

I met my {now} husband on line. In a large breed dog rescue chat site. We chatted about a year befor I felt comfortable enough to meet. Then I made him meet me in the lobby of my local Police Dept. Cop friends of mine ran his plates then gave me a nod, lol, he had no police history, and in fact was a reserve cop in another county.
We had made plans to go to a movie, so I called my son and invited him and his girlfriend to join us. Later he told me that it was much worse then his first dates as a teen, when you had to meet the fathers.
We dated about a year and a half then married. Honestly, if I had met him befor knowing him via chat, I wouldn't of paid any mind to him at all. Mostly because if he dosent know you, he is really shy.

While I haven't ventured into internet dating websites yet, I can testify that they can work. I have relatives who met online and are now married (Going on 3 years now I think, though the relationship is probably going on more like 6 years) :-)

My brother met his wife online and they just clicked. Given the history of how human beings met their spouses, I doubt that the web is much better or worse than any other meet market.

Well, apparently it does work.

I had a few dates (couldn't really call them dates, though), and it was kinda dissapointing. But that's not the point, the point is that all the people I met online were more or less the same in person (their personalities, or at least the most significant parts of them), so, actually, you can get to know someone online.

The point is, you can meet great people online, people who wouldn't attract you if you just simply met them (let's say a friend introduced them to you or so). And that's nice, because it opens your mind in a different way.

 

[Astronuc]

The last time that I dated, there was no such thing as "online".

The last time I was single, there was no such thing as "online". The closest thing to online was the telephone.

I've been dating the same woman for over 26 years. We've been officially married for nearly 25 years.

 

[mattmns]

My dad and his wife (step-mom) met online 7 or 8 years ago, and are still going strong today.

 

[Vagrant]

What? What kind of rejection letter do they give you? "You're too weird for us"?

Yep, but they say it more politely, and to make you feel better about your weirdness they tell you that 1 in 5 people who apply are too weird for them

 

[Pyrrhus]

Never tried the online route, yet. Maybe because I'm still in college and it's easier to meet people locally. Anyway, i'll consider it for the future cause you guys make it look so promising.

 

[light_bulb]

it does sound promising, i'll post my pic and profile in a week to see what out there.

 

[Reshma]

Well, it is a good thing that they are only dating sites. Here in India, there are "matrimonial" sites where singles look for prospective brides or grooms. Personally it freaks me out ( ), because there is a certain amount of risk involved even when you date someone you met online let alone MARRYING them.

 

[siddharth]

Well, it is a good thing that they are only dating sites. Here in India, there are "matrimonial" sites where singles look for prospective brides or grooms. Personally it freaks me out ( ), because there is a certain amount of risk involved even when you date someone you met online let alone MARRYING them.

I agree, but it's a much better idea than the newspaper matrimonial columns. The target audience for the matrimonial sites are probably those who are interested in arranged marriages, and IMO, the websites help them get the required information better.

With the number of ads in the newspapers for "fair, slim, tall, well employed but home-loving", it's a wonder that there's any genetic diversity.

 

[Moonbear]

Yep, but they say it more politely, and to make you feel better about your weirdness they tell you that 1 in 5 people who apply are too weird for them

Does that mean they rejected you or someone you know too? I thought it was hilarious that they rejected him, and thankfully, so does he. Maybe we should set up another dating website just for eHarmony rejects so they can meet each other.

 

[Vagrant]

They rejected me. Not that I was interested, I'm too young for anything serious, just dead bored and I told them that my social life is non-existent and I have no intention of having one either. I found it hilarious too. Actually they gave me such a great personality profile I thought people who they accept have to be too boring for me.

 

[out of whack]

I told them that my social life is non-existent and I have no intention of having one either.

The veil of mystery has just been lifted!

 

[Vagrant]

Yes I shouldn't have tested their tolerance on that one.

 

[Moonbear]

They rejected me. Not that I was interested, I'm too young for anything serious, just dead bored and I told them that my social life is non-existent and I have no intention of having one either. I found it hilarious too. Actually they gave me such a great personality profile I thought people who they accept have to be too boring for me.

I did their personality profile for the same reason...bored...and they were offering that part for free. So, filled it out and thought, cool, they've done a good job of describing me and what I want, and then I took a look at the 10 sample matches they listed (all to entice you to subscribe) and thought, okay, I guess they just tossed the whole profile out the window and tried setting me up with my polar opposites. Needless to say, I never subscribed, and am glad I didn't, since the reason I couldn't find any good matches is they reject all the guys who would be good matches for me. I wonder why they let me in?

 

[Evo]

I wonder why they let me in?

Bait?

I started filling out their questionaire once and I was really bothered by their questions, so I never registered. Immediately they were sending my profile out to creepy guys I would never have contacted. It took about a week of complaints to their customer service to get them to stop.

 

[Moonbear]

Bait?

Do only guys get rejected? I don't know if shramana is male or female.

I started filling out their questionaire once and I was really bothered by their questions, so I never registered. Immediately they were sending my profile out to creepy guys I would never have contacted. It took about a week of complaints to their customer service to get them to stop.

They all looked pretty creepy to me too. But yes, they seem to quickly post the profile, because within minutes of finishing the questionnaire, I was already getting messages from guys "rejecting" me because I hadn't posted a picture...that sealed the fate of that site...geez...I hadn't even registered, and already the sleezeballs were oozing out of the woodwork and then complaining, as if I had even contacted them. Not that I could reply to any of the messages without signing up. Did they really think they'd get people to pay to use their site when the only message you want to send back to the guys contacting you is "Go crawl back into your cave!?"

 

[Math Is Hard]

One in five people are rejected by eharmony? That's astonishing. I like my men on the eccentric side so I would probably only consider men who were rejected by eharmony. But at the moment I am not looking since I recently met someone online. We didn't meet on a dating website, though. I've never tried one of those. We met through a band fan site/bulletin board.

It seems like lately I rarely meet people who didn't meet their bf/gf online.

My brother met his wife online and they just clicked.

"they just clicked" ha ha - you made a funny!

 

[Evo]

They all looked pretty creepy to me too. But yes, they seem to quickly post the profile, because within minutes of finishing the questionnaire, I was already getting messages from guys "rejecting" me because I hadn't posted a picture...that sealed the fate of that site...geez...I hadn't even registered, and already the sleezeballs were oozing out of the woodwork and then complaining, as if I had even contacted them.

Yep, same here. Since I didn't register and didn't agree to anything, I don't know that what they did was even legal.

 

[light_bulb]

"Go crawl back into your cave!?"

and this is why the internet is great!

 

[Astronuc]

I wonder why they let me in?

Probably they don't get such high class and intelligent women, so they took advantage of you, and Evo too!

I started filling out their questionaire once and I was really bothered by their questions, so I never registered. Immediately they were sending my profile out to creepy guys I would never have contacted. It took about a week of complaints to their customer service to get them to stop.

Eeeeewwwwww! Stay away from that place!

 

[light_bulb]

i was rejected from yahoo personals for using the gieco caveman picture

 

[Mk]

Probably they don't get such high class and intelligent women, so they took advantage of you, and Evo too!

Woo! *hi-five*

Watch the master at work!

 

[Type 7]

With the number of ads in the newspapers for "fair, slim, tall, well employed but home-loving", it's a wonder that there's any genetic diversity.

LOL

Perhaps human evolution will now be shaped by online romance seekers favoring certain genetic traits above others. Weirdness seems to be favored by PF women.

 

[Evo]

Weirdness seems to be favored by PF women.

That's so true! I couldn't stand being with someone straightlaced and middle of the road. In other words...BORING.

 

[light_bulb]

to bad your to old for me, i'd ROCK your world!






*quickly closes cave door*

 

[Evo]

to bad your to old for me, i'd ROCK your world!






*quickly closes cave door*

OLD? OLD?

Dang young whipper snappers. Come here so I can smack you with my cane.

 

[Lisa!]

I never looked for a date amongs people whom I meet online since I'm so skeptical of them.(the majority of them sounds crazy since I'm great at attracting weird people around myself)

But anyway I've finally met my soulmate in a chatroom!

 

[Evo]

I never looked for a date amongs people whom I meet online since I'm so skeptical of them.(the majority of them sounds crazy since I'm great at attracting weird people around myself)

But anyway I've finally met my soulmate in a chatroom!

Lisa! That's so great, I'm glad to hear that!

 

[radou]

OLD? OLD?

Dang young whipper snappers. Come here so I can smack you with my cane.

But anyway I've finally met my soulmate in a chatroom!

I wouldn't like to sound discouraging, but I've met ~15 soulmates in chatrooms in a certain period of my life.

Didn't meet a soulmate in my real life, though.

 

[Lisa!]

Lisa! That's so great, I'm glad to hear that!

Thanks! Very nice of you, Evo.

I wouldn't like to sound discouraging, but I've met ~15 soulmates in chatrooms in a certain period of my life.

Didn't meet a soulmate in my real life, though.

hmmm...not discouraging at all since I'm confident on my claim this time! Although I've met plenty of people both on net and real life, I've never felt this way about any of them.

 

[radou]

Although I've met plenty of people both on net and real life, I've never felt this way about any of them.

I said that every single time out of these total 15.

Then again, I hope you and me differ. Good luck!

 

[Lisa!]

I said that every single time out of these total 15.

Then again, I hope you and me differ. Good luck!

I knew you were going to say that!
hmmm... you know I think both of us are mature enough to realize whether we are right for each other or not.(I'm 24 and he's 28, although you can't say someone is mature becuase of his age. I just mention that to say we are not teenagers)
It's been for more than 6 months since the 1st time we've met in a chatroom.(After a while we just realized that we have some mutual friends) We have so many things in common and share same interests. But what reallt attracts us to each other is our honesty, and craziness.
Anyway I never make a big deal of anything in my life, so that I just wait to see how things work out. But I'll have to admit that I'm so happy to see there's someone who's just as crazy as me!

Good luck too!

 

[radou]

I knew you were going to say that!
hmmm... you know I think both of us are mature enough to realize whether we are right for each other or not.(I'm 24 and he's 28, although you can't say someone is mature becuase of his age. I just mention that to say we are not teenagers)

I have a theory that all of us actually stay in our teens most of our lives.

Anyway I never make a big deal of anything in my life, so that I just wait to see how things work out.

That's a good attitude.

But what reallt attracts us to each other is our honesty, and craziness.

But I'll have to admit that I'm so happy to see there's someone who's just as crazy as me!

What's that craziness thing actually all about?

 

[Lisa!]

I have a theory that all of us actually stay in our teens most of our lives.

You're theory couldn't be true about us since I think both of us have stayed in our childhood!

That's a good attitude.

That's 1 of the things I like about him and he likes about me.

What's that craziness thing actually all about?

I'm not sure if I'd be able to explain it to you! Just to say that our interests, ideas, dreams and personalities is quite different from many of people around us.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Have you met him in person yet, Lisa? Does he live near you?

 

[Astronuc]

It's been for more than 6 months since the 1st time we've met in a chatroom.(After a while we just realized that we have some mutual friends) We have so many things in common and share same interests. But what really attracts us to each other is our honesty, and craziness.

Anyway I never make a big deal of anything in my life, so that I just wait to see how things work out. But I'll have to admit that I'm so happy to see there's someone who's just as crazy as me!

Good luck too!

Congratulations, Lisa! ! That's wonderful. About the crazy - I would have never guessed.

 

[Lisa!]

Have you met him in person yet, Lisa?

Yep and luckily my nose hasn't caused any problem!

Does he live near you?

He lives near 1 of my close relatives!

Congratulations, Lisa! ! That's wonderful.

Thank you very much!

About the crazy - I would have never guessed.

Perhaps that's becuase I rarely speak my mind to you!