Outrageous Two-Timing: Hang 'em High!

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The discussion centers around the ethics of two-timing in relationships, with participants expressing strong opinions on the subject. Some argue that cheating is unacceptable and should be met with severe consequences, while others suggest that certain circumstances, like long-term abstinence or mutual consent, might justify such behavior. The conversation touches on cultural differences, particularly regarding polygamy, and whether a lack of transparency in relationships is inherently wrong. Participants debate the implications of honesty and openness in dating, with some asserting that dating multiple people without disclosure is poor form, while others argue that casual relationships do not necessitate such transparency. The topic of race and cultural background arises, leading to accusations of racism and discussions about the appropriateness of certain comments. Ultimately, the thread reflects a complex interplay of personal beliefs, cultural norms, and the varying definitions of cheating and relationship dynamics.
wolram
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Well what do you think, a lady two timing a guy, a guy two timing a lady,
i think it is outrageous, and the perpetrator should be hung drawn and quatered. :biggrin:
 
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What's wrong, wolram, are you being two-timed! You sound kind of mad and I'm sure you're not the one doing the two-timing! :-p

Anyway there are certain scenarios where it would be okay. Like for if your spouse has been a comatose vegatable for ten years, or abstinent for a long time, or is cheating on you herself, then it's okay. Or when a girl hooks up with me just to make her boyfriend jealous, then that's definatly okay too! (unless he's like a 300 lb. bodybuilder.

Otherwise I think you shouldn't be drawn and quartered until at least the second offense. The first time you should just be horse-whipped for fifty lashes.
 
Not cool. If something is wrong enough with your relationship that you would, then you either fix the relationship, or end it outright. I think some situations can be put down to human nature, but a long term second relationship is definitely not a good thing to have IMO. You're just messing your self around in the end, and hurting others in the process.
 
What if the couple is swingers? Then it's okay right?
 
Not me, this person, he has two girl friends and they dont
know about each other, i found out by accident.
 
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wolram said:
Not me, this dispicable iraqi person, he has two girl friends and they dont
know about each other, i found out by accident.
That's a crappy situation to be in. Are you friends with these women?
 
SamuelGreen800 said:
That's a crappy situation to be in. Are you friends with these women?
No, just work mates with one.
 
Not too bad then. Not much to do then, really. Hopefully it will all play out in a way that leaves the guy highly unsatisfied.
 
SamuelGreen800 said:
Not too bad then. Not much to do then, really. Hopefully it will all play out in a way that leaves the guy highly unsatisfied.

Hopefully, these guys think women are second class, i don't think they
understand that at first.
 
  • #10
Is he muslim? Maybe he's polygamous and that's not necessarily wrong just a cultural difference.
 
  • #11
I think we are jumping to a whole lot of conclusions here. Are you certain that they don't know about each other? If it's consentual then I don't see anything wrong with it at all... I mean, it's every guy's fantasy isn't it? (and some girls?) good for him!

Are you certain that he's intimate with both of them? I don't think it's really fair to expect him to only date one girl at a time untill, it's only cheating if he's formed a serious relationship with (at least) one of them.
 
  • #12
Mental Gridlock said:
Is he muslim? Maybe he's polygamous and that's not necessarily wrong just a cultural difference.
Well if he's muslim he really should be married to both of them and they should know about each other, a better question would be to ask if the girls are polygamous, because otherwise he's still violating their trust by not working out the cultural differences.
 
  • #13
Smurf said:
Well if he's muslim he really should be married to both of them and they should know about each other, a better question would be to ask if the girls are polygamous, because otherwise he's still violating their trust by not working out the cultural differences.

Im 90% sure they don't know about each other, but that leaves 10% doubt.
 
  • #14
well you might not want to condemn him until you're sure beyond a reasonable doubt.
 
  • #15
There are these two guys at my job who are married and have like 3 or 4 girlfreinds and talk about it like its the most normal thing in the world. When I told them I wouldn't cheat on my wife if I had one, they laughed.
 
  • #16
LeonhardEuler said:
There are these two guys at my job who are married and have like 3 or 4 girlfreinds and talk about it like its the most normal thing in the world. When I told them I wouldn't cheat on my wife if I had one, they laughed.

and where in the world are you? is that normal in your area?
 
  • #17
I'm in New York, but they're from Haiti. They say it isn't a big deal over there.
 
  • #18
Smurf said:
Are you certain that he's intimate with both of them? I don't think it's really fair to expect him to only date one girl at a time untill, it's only cheating if he's formed a serious relationship with (at least) one of them.
While it definitely isn't cheating if he is not in a serious relationship with either it is generally bad form to be dating more than one girl without both of them knowing that you are dating someone else as well. If they are being "intimate" then it is very bad form.
But you are right that you can't really think ill of the man unless you know for sure what is going on.
 
  • #19
TheStatutoryApe said:
While it definitely isn't cheating if he is not in a serious relationship with either it is generally bad form to be dating more than one girl without both of them knowing that you are dating someone else as well. If they are being "intimate" then it is very bad form.
But you are right that you can't really think ill of the man unless you know for sure what is going on.
I don't know, I wouldn't go out of my way to tell a girl I'm also dating someone else if it's just casual. However it is assumed that if one (or both) of them ask that I won't lie to them, because that's obviously bad regardless.
 
  • #20
Wolram:

"...this ... ... person..."
"...these guys think women are second class..."

This is textbook racism. You have taken someone's actions and decided that it is due to his race.

Between a two-timer and a racist pig, I'd string up the racist pig.

Also, I am astonished that, after 10 posts, I'm the first one to point it out.
 
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  • #21
DaveC426913 said:
Also, I am astonished that, after 10 posts, I'm the first one to point it out.
Don't worry you'll get used to it soon and give up mentioning it too.
 
  • #22
DaveC426913 said:
Wolram:

"...this ... ... person..."
"...these guys think women are second class..."

This is textbook racism. You have taken someone's actions and decided that it is due to his race.

I don't know what Wolram meant with his comments, but what it sounded like to me was that "these guys" refers to polygamous people, who indeed have no respect for women (an observation). And this is not racist. He did not say he was polygamous BECAUSE he's Iraqi. Iraqi was mentioned before as a descriptor. He's just polygamous AND Iraqi. There's no indication to polygamous BECAUSE Iraqi. And nice clever use of the ellipsis.

DaveC426913 said:
Also, I am astonished that, after 10 posts, I'm the first one to point it out.

By point out you mean complain about and make judgements about. It sounds like a casual statement of opinion and this is the 21st century, we've made enough progress in the world of civil rights to be getting our panties in a bunch about every remark we think is innappropriate for whatever reason. I'm not sure you were offended by these comments Dave, so why bring it up, to make Wolram feel bad so he'll change his ways? :smile: :smile: Turn on cable TV or visit an uncensored forum one day and you'll be numb to stuff like this in no time!
 
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  • #23
I edited the offending post. Actually both parties are the same race, caucasian, so it's ethnic. We can stop discussing it now.
 
  • #24
wolram said:
Well what do you think, a lady two timing a guy, a guy two timing a lady,
i think it is outrageous, and the perpetrator should be hung drawn and quatered. :biggrin:

no a guy can have more than 1 girl friend, a girl can have more than 1 boy friend. if the 2 people haven't discussed it somehow then they're single.
 
  • #25
While it definitely isn't cheating if he is not in a serious relationship with either it is generally bad form to be dating more than one girl without both of them knowing that you are dating someone else as well. If they are being "intimate" then it is very bad form.

Pfffff, why limit yourself?

And why does the girl have to know. I mean, is she writing your biography? :rolleyes:
 
  • #26
Dagenais said:
And why does the girl have to know. I mean, is she writing your biography? :rolleyes:
It's called honesty... you know? ... HONESTY!?
 
  • #27
Dagenais said:
Pfffff, why limit yourself?

And why does the girl have to know. I mean, is she writing your biography? :rolleyes:
I'm sure this varies in different cultures. In some it may be expected that a person will be dating multiple people and perhaps having sexual relationships with multiple people. Here in the US this is pretty much the case in many places though it's not exactly considered acceptable behavior.
Honesty plays a roll in it. Aside from that there is the matter of openness. Letting someone know that you are also seeing other people is being open with them. If you find that you have trouble being both honest and open with women then it is very possible you will have trouble with your relationships in general. It's just something that helps a healthy relationship.
Also staying physically healthy may depend on being open about such things with the persons you are having sexual relationships with.
 
  • #28
It is perfectly natural for two infatuated individuals to swear each other eternal love and that they will never be interested in anyone else.

But then, again:
Whenever were infatuated persons entirely rational and clear-headed?

Should their rash words spoken in themselves-centred passion be elevated to some sort of societal principle everyone should abide by?
 
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  • #29
Mental Gridlock said:
I don't know what Wolram meant with his comments, but what it sounded like to me was that "these guys" refers to polygamous people, who indeed have no respect for women (an observation).
He was explicit - not much room for misinterpretation. Why would he mention it if it weren't relevant to the point?

Mental Gridlock said:
It sounds like a casual statement of opinion and this is the 21st century, we've made enough progress in the world of civil rights to be getting our panties in a bunch about every remark we think is innappropriate for whatever reason. I'm not sure you were
I would just as soon not become numb to this kind of social crime.

Mental Gridlock said:
offended by these comments Dave, so why bring it up, to make Wolram feel bad so he'll change his ways? :smile: :smile: Turn on cable TV or visit an uncensored forum one day and you'll be numb to stuff like this in no time!
Which is why I avoid them, preferring to frequent boards where people express educated, intelligent thoughts.

I'm sure Wolram merely slipped up. He seems otherwise educated and intelligent.
 
  • #30
OOps, seemed i made a error, i can assure every one that race has nothing to do with post, sorry for any thing that seemed that way.
 
  • #31
Don't worry wolram, and don't apologize. There was nothing wrong with what you posted. Period. If others get offended by it, it's their problem.

Evo said:
I edited the offending post.

Thank you! I'm sure so many people were being "offended" by the use of adjectives. :rolleyes:

Evo said:
Actually both parties are the same race, caucasian, so it's ethnic.

What do you mean, so it's "ethnic"? You should clarify this. Do you mean it's racism because both parties are white?

DaveC426913 said:
He was explicit - not much room for misinterpretation

Dave, where was he "explicit" that he was dispicable BECAUSE he's Iraqi? Or saying in any way that one race is superior to another (i.e. racism). Check your dictionary. Simple mention of race is NOT racism. The fact that you interpret this as racism is not based on explicit words, rather it's based on your ASSUMPTION (why else would he say it if not to be racist?) of words that could be used for any number of purposes. But you infer one purpose and assume it and claim it to be the words of a "racist pig". I'm not trying to defend wolram, rather I'm trying to point out when people get anally conservative and whine about everything.

DaveC426913 said:
Why would he mention it if it weren't relevant to the point?

That has an easy answer. Adjectives are used in writing to create vivid language. They provide the reader with more information about the subject and make the words more enoyable or informative. The way wolram worded it painted a much clearer picture than Evo's vague replacement ("this person").

Evo said:
We can stop discussing it now.

Okay you automatically get the final say. You're the moderator! I understand. Please don't delete this message or close the thread yet. I'm just asking for the courtesy of an explanation as to how these comments warranted being edited. I understand the purpose of rules and moderators on this forum! I just think that in this case the action taken was senseless. Can you at least show me how it's not?
 
  • #32
Mental Gridlock said:
Okay you automatically get the final say. You're the moderator! I understand. Please don't delete this message or close the thread yet. I'm just asking for the courtesy of an explanation as to how these comments warranted being edited. I understand the purpose of rules and moderators on this forum! I just think that in this case the action taken was senseless. Can you at least show me how it's not?
If Wolram wants an explanation, he can pm me. I have great respect for Wolram, but the post was disrespectful and therefor violated the guidelines and needed to be deleted. It doesn't matter if you "personally" were not offended.
 
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  • #33
It's called honesty... you know? ... HONESTY!?


I should be wise, for honesty's a fool
And loses that it works for. - Iago
 
  • #34
Those who can't think, quote.
-Me
 
  • #35
And those too tired to think just :smile:
-me
 

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