Collection of Science Jokes P2

[Demystifier]

Chuck Norris can prove the Fermat's last theorem, on a margin.

Chuck Norris can prove the Banach-Tarski paradox, without the axiom of choice.

Chuck Norris can prove the continuity hypothesis, from ZF.

Chuck Norris can prove the consistency of arithmetic, from arithmetic itself.

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Chuck Norris can reverse the thermodynamic arrow of time.

Chuck Norris can quantize gravity.

Chuck Norris can use entanglement to send signals faster than light.

Chuck Norris can measure hidden variables.

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Chuck Norris can learn everything about the red color just by reading black and white books.

Chuck Norris can make a philosophical zombie.

Chuck Norris can derive consciousness from the laws of physics.

 

[collinsmark]

(Source: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/discourse-2)

[Edit: I see now that @Keith_McClary already posted this in the "Bad Math Jokes" thread. https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/bad-math-jokes-2020.990191/post-6467945]

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[Klystron]

Two jokes I imagined during certain lectures:

How do RF engineers find their path through the woods?

Follow the Poynting vector →​

Was that last joke funny?

OK, but a bit on the Heaviside.​

 

[jack action]

I'm kind of deceived by this xkcd comics:

Isn't this chart also misleading, as all planets other than Earth shouldn't even show up when sized by population because a dot - no matter how small - is still larger than zero?

 

[fresh_42]

I'm kind of deceived by this xkcd comics:

View attachment 279999​

Isn't this chart also misleading, as all planets other than Earth shouldn't even show up when sized by population because a dot - no matter how small - is still larger than zero?

Here's the corrected version:

 

[mfb]

[citation needed]

 

[BillTre]

 

[mfb]

2019: Using the internet can give you a virus.
2020: Not using the internet can give you a virus.

 

[DennisN]

And now something cheerful:

Two more:

 

[mfb]

And now something cheerful

All the stars visible to the naked eye should still be around, most of them are closer than 1000 light years and will stay around for tens of millions of year or more. We are only unsure about 1 or maybe 2 of them.

 

[waternohitter]

 

[Keith_McClary]

 

[DennisN]

Translated from Swedish:

"The first soccer player has now been vaccinated"

 

[kuruman]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Frigus]

Don't drink water during studying because my teacher was saying on addition of water concentration decreases.

 

[mfb]

Physicist used April 1 for joke arXiv uploads.

The Swapland - tons of good jokes and references, mainly particle physics but also going into astronomy, philosophy, general science topics and more.
Pandemic dark matter - what if dark matter is infectious?
The Swampland Conjecture Bound Conjecture - Conjecture - we will "soon" run out of space to make more conjectures
Science Spoofs, Physics Pranks and Astronomical Antics - a review of jokes or similar things.
The Existential Threat of Future Exoplanet Discoveries - what if we extrapolate exoplanet numbers?

More:
https://arxiv.org/abs/2103.16737
https://arxiv.org/abs/2103.16866
https://arxiv.org/abs/2103.16575

CERN proposes “space elevator” accelerator

 

[BillTre]

 

[kuruman]

An oldie but goodie

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DrClaude]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[mfb]

Take your age, add three, then subtract three. That's your age.

In JavaScript it's your age plus 0.000000000001567.
Or 10 times your age, if you take your age as string.

var a="123"
var b=a+3
var c=b-3
document.write(c)

--> 1230

 

[pinball1970]

I am afraid for the calendar..

It's days are numbered.

 

[Ibix]

In JavaScript it's your age plus 0.000000000001567.
Or 10 times your age, if you take your age as string.

var a="123"
var b=a+3
var c=b-3
document.write(c)

--> 1230

So + is defined for strings so 3 is cast to string and b gets the value "1233", but - isn't defined for strings so b gets cast to integer and c is 1230? That's nasty...

 

[phinds]

I am afraid for the calendar..

It's days are numbered.

You hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.

 

[fresh_42]

You hear about the guy who got fired from the calendar factory? He took a day off.

McKinsey was hired by the manufacturer. They found out, that costs could be reduced by a factor 1/364 if all calendar pages are printed with "Today".

 

[fresh_42]

Employees have been requested to use pogo sticks while on the calendar factory's ground. It was a leap year.

 

[pinball1970]

So + is defined for strings so 3 is cast to string and b gets the value "1233", but - isn't defined for strings so b gets cast to integer and c is 1230? That's nasty...

McKinsey was hired by the manufacturer. They found out, that costs could be reduced by a factor 1/364 if all calendar pages are printed with "Today".

I may take these jokes to the homework helper section, 'Explain why these are funny.'

 

[fresh_42]

I may take these jokes to the homework helper section, 'Explain why these are funny.'

 

[kuruman]

View attachment 281677

I have one of these electronic calendars. If you hit the → key, it says "Tomorrow" and if you hit the ← key, it says "Yesterday".

 

[mfb]

So + is defined for strings so 3 is cast to string and b gets the value "1233", but - isn't defined for strings so b gets cast to integer and c is 1230? That's nasty...

Yes. JavaScript is full of these odd features.
string=('b'+'a'+ + 'a' + 'a').toLowerCase() produces "banana".
'b'+'a' is regular string concatenation. The next term is " +'a' ", so JS tries to convert 'a' to an integer which produces NaN. That can be converted to a string ("NaN"), so it can be concatenated. Add the final "a" to get "baNaNa", and toLowerCase obfuscates the process a bit.

!null is true. So is null==false? No, it is not. Both null==false and null==true evaluate to false.
Exactly the same for undefined.
But what you can do: undefined==null is true.
NaN == NaN is false.

!null+""+ +'a' produces the string "trueNaN".

 

[Ibix]

JavaScript is full of these odd features.

I've used Javascript a few times and was aware that its type conversion was... interesting, but I hadn't realized quite how interesting.

 

[DrGreg]

This reminds me of the time I saw a price ticket on a supermarket shelf which told me that the price of a product was 95p and the price per 100g was NaNp.

 

[kuruman]

This reminds me of the time I saw a price ticket on a supermarket shelf which told me that the price of a product was 95p and the price per 100g was NaNp.

Which, of course, implies that 95 = NaN in SI.

 

[DrGreg]

Which, of course, implies that 95 = NaN in SI.

Or that the object for sale was a photon.

 

[Ibix]

Which, of course, implies that 95 = NaN in SI.

I suspect that 0+"95p" probably does equal NaN in Javascript...

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[etotheipi]

 

[BillTre]

 

[etotheipi]

How many number theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows the exact number, but it is believed to be an elegant prime.

 

[BillTre]

In biology,
you can divide to multiply.

 

[DennisN]

How many number theorists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows the exact number, but it is believed to be an elegant prime.

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler

Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

 

[etotheipi]

Let $\epsilon < 0$

 

[PhDeezNutz]

Are you a Hilbert Space? Because you complete me <3.