I used my mother's philosophy about child rearing. Basically, if they are my child, they'd better be smart.
From the very beginning I made my children make their own decisions. Of course I set parameters. They chose their own clothing from the time they were able to convey a message. I didn't care if the top was orange and the bottom was green and they wore pink shoes with blue socks. It gave them a sense of empowerment even though it was a meaningless thing. It gave them the confidence to make decisions. I always had seasonally appropriate clothing in their closets, the out of season clothing stored away.
Same with eating. I would give a choice, for example chicken or hotdogs. Broccolli or spinach. My kids ended up favoring vegetables.
I never placed food on their plate and told them to eat it whether they liked it or not. I offered healthy choices and let them pick.
I also had no rules. But I made it clear that their choices had consequences that they would have to live with. As a result, they would ask my opinion a lot. They would observe the other children around them and see the stupid things they did and we would discuss how stupid those kids were and my kids didn't want to be like them.
As a result, my kids never smoked, or drank or did drugs, they never rebelled, or argued with me or did stupid things. Now that they are adults, they still consider me their best friend and we talk everyday.
