These are a few references that I have:
A. R. Lee, T. M. Kalotas, "Lorentz transformations from the first postulate" Am. J. Phys. 43 (1975), 434
J.-M. Levy-Leblond, "One more derivation of the Lorentz transformation", Am. J. Phys. 44 (1976), 271
D. A. Sardelis, "Unified derivation of the Galileo and Lorentz transformations" Eur. J. Phys. 3 (1982), 96
H. M. Schwartz, "Deduction of the general Lorentz transformations from a set of necessary assumptions", Am. J. Phys. 52 (1984), 346
J. H. Field, "A new kinematical derivation of the Lorentz transformation and the particle description of light" (1977), Preprint KEK 97-04-145
R. Polischuk, "Derivation of the Lorentz transformations",
http://www.arxiv.org/abs/physics/0110076
Unfortunately, all these derivations (and your derivation is not an exception) share one weak point. They are normaly performed for events associated with some simple physical systems, like non-interacting particles or freely propagating light rays. For example, a prominent role is often played by the 1st Newton's law (which is valid for non-interacting particles only) which is used to deduce the linearity of transformations. Another example is Einstein's second postulate (the invariance of the speed of light) which can be applied to events associated with light pulses only. There can be no objections against such derivations, and they can be done in a variety of different ways.
The question that worries me is this:
how we can be sure that the same (Lorentz) transformation laws will be valid for events in systems of interacting particles? Do you agree that there is a logical jump when Lorentz transformations derived in non-interacting systems are generalized to all possible physical system and even said to be fundamental properties of space and time, i.e., completely independent on the physical system that is observed?
Eugene.