Angry Programmer Video: Dark Comedy on YouTube

[ShayanJ]

I found this video on youtube today. Really good dark comedy!
Any comments from programmers?

 

[fresh_42]

Have you met BOFH already?

 

[ShayanJ]

Have you met BOFH already?

It just keeps getting darker!

I hear the revolver go off, but what the hell, it's 5pm, and not my problem...

 

[fresh_42]

It just keeps getting darker!

Yes, one needs a good portion of black humor. And to know how operating a mainframe works also helps - I think its origin is in the late eighties or early nineties.

 

[berkeman]

Have you met BOFH already?

ROTFLMAO

A user rings"Do you know why the system is slow?" they ask

"It's probably something to do with..." I look up today's excuse ".. clock speed"

"Oh" (Not knowing what I'm talking about, they're satisfied) "Do you know when it will be fixed?"

"Fixed? There's 275 users on your machine, and one of them is you. Don't be so selfish - logout now and give someone else a chance!"

"But my research results are due in tommorrow and all I need is one page of Laser Print.."

"SURE YOU DO. Well, you just keep telling yourself that buddy!" I hang up.

You'd really think people would learn not to call..

The phone rings. It'll be him again, I know. That annoys me. I put on a gruff voice

"HELLO, SALARIES!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I've got the wrong number"

"YEAH? Well what's your name buddy? Do you know WASTED phone calls cost money? DO YOU? I've got a good mind to subtract your wasted time, my wasted time, and the cost of this call from your weekly wages! IN FACT I WILL! By the time I've finished with you, YOU'LL OWE US money! WHAT'S YOUR NAME - AND DON'T LIE, WE'VE GOT CALLER ID!"

I hear the phone drop and the sound of running feet - he's obviously going to try and get an alibi by being at the Dean's office. I look up his username and find his department. I ring the Dean's secretary.

"Hello?" she answers

"Hi, SIMON, B.O.F.H. HERE, LISTEN, WHEN THAT GUY COMES RUNNING INTO YOUR OFFICE IN ABOUT 10 SECONDS, CAN YOU GIVE HIM A MESSAGE?"

"I think so..." she says

"TELL HIM `HE CAN RUN, BUT HE CAN'T HIDE'"

 

[fresh_42]

I found this video on youtube today. Really good dark comedy!
Any comments from programmers?

This is very true. Any time you have to adjust a program to new goals, that haven't been even near the concept as the project was invoked ..., any time you have to bend the mathematics to get numbers out of a data set that wasn't supposed to supply those numbers ... , any time you migrate data in which direction ever ..., any time you have to deal with code that has already been modified several dozen times ..., and so on, and always due to last week! There are two features that are always needed in IT projects and neither of them is ever supplied: a punching bag and a decent amount of Scotch. Correction, I've read about a Japanese company which at least installed punching bags in a room in their basement, which carried the faces of the bosses for their employees ...

And (also in the 90s) there was an American who shot his computer. They put him into a psychiatry. Something I never understood. The psychiatry, not the shooter.

For all who like IT stories written in an amusing style, I recommend https://www.amazon.com/dp/0932633390/?tag=pfamazon01-20.

 

[newjerseyrunner]

I once pulled a hard drive out of a computer, made a noose with a wire, and hung it up as a warning to all of the other hard drives.