georgir said:
To me absorption is still the time-reverse of emission
You are confusing yourself by insisting on stating this in a way that makes it seem like a simple fact, when it is actually glossing over a lot of complexities.
It is true that the fundamental laws of EM, and the fundamental laws of GR, are time symmetric. Here is what that means: given any solution of the fundamental equations, there will be another solution that is the time reverse of that one. So, given a particular solution that describes the emission of a wave, there will be another solution that is the time reverse of that one.
However, that does not at all imply that the time reversed solution must occur the same number of times as the original one, nor does it imply that the time reverse of a solution describing the usual process of emission of a wave, is a solution corresponding to the usual process of absorption of a wave (or vice versa). To take one example that has already been discussed: suppose we have a solution that, to a good approximation, describes a source of EM radiation emitting outgoing spherical wavefronts that take away energy from the source. (They won't be exactly spherical wavefronts, for reasons that have already been discussed, but we can arrange a macroscopic source to contain a very large number of small dipoles whose combined radiation can be modeled as outgoing spherical wavefronts to a good approximation.) What is the time reverse of this solution? It is a solution describing a "sink" of EM radiation that just happens to have a series of incoming spherical wavefronts converging exactly on it, in just the right way to deliver energy to the source. This time reversed solution will obviously be much, much rarer than the original one, since it requires an extremely precise arrangement of the incoming spherical wavefronts and of the charges inside the source, which is extremely improbable.
Consider another example: an EM absorber consisting of a material with little charges in it that are made to oscillate when an EM wave passes through. A small piece of a spherical wavefront emitted by a source very far away can be idealized as a plane wave, and the little charges will oscillate when the plane wave passes, transferring a small portion of the energy carried by the wave to the charges. (Note that as the charges oscillate, they also generate EM waves, and in a fully rigorous analysis we have to take those into account as well; the net energy absorbed by the charges will be the energy taken from the incoming EM waves, minus the energy re-radiated as other EM waves. We'll see why that's relevant in just a moment.) What is the time reverse of this solution? It is a solution where a plane wave is passing through the material in the other direction, and the material contains charges that are already oscillating in a very particular way; and the combined effect is to make the charges
stop oscillating in exactly the right way to draw energy
from the charges inside the material and transfer it to the waves. (Note that for this to happen, the charges must themselves radiate EM waves as they stop oscillating, and the energy re-radiated must be
larger than the energy absorbed by the incoming wave.) Again, this latter situation will be much, much more improbable than the original one.
Similar remarks apply to the case of GWs. Consider the BH merger that produced the GWs detected by LIGO. The time reverse of this, as I pointed out in my response to PAllen, would be converging GWs that hit a
white hole and split it in two, so that, as PAllen said in his response to my response, you would have two white holes "exploding" and sending out matter and radiation, instead of one. But we don't even think that a solution with one white hole is physically realistic, let alone one with a white hole being split in two by GWs.
Now consider the process by which LIGO detected the GWs. A very tiny fraction of an already very tiny amount of energy carried by the GWs was deposited in the LIGO detector during the detection process by making the mirrors start oscillating. (Note that, by analogy with the EM case, the LIGO detector will re-radiate GWs--containing a still tinier amount of energy, so that there is a net energy transfer from the GWs to the detector.) The time reverse of this would be GWs coming through LIGO in the other direction, and the LIGO detector mirrors oscillating, both in just the right way to cause the LIGO detector mirrors to
stop oscillating and re-radiate GWs that took net energy away from the detector. This is, again, much, much more improbable than the original solution, describing LIGO detecting GWs and absorbing energy from them, would be.
So an ordinary, common process of absorption is
not just the time reverse of an ordinary, common process of emission, and you are confusing yourself by talking as though it is.