Torn between leaving and staying

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The discussion revolves around concerns regarding a boyfriend who exhibits behaviors suggestive of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The individual describes a shift in his behavior from fun and sweet to impulsive and verbally abusive, particularly when driving recklessly. There is contemplation about ending the relationship due to the exhausting nature of his OC behavior, while also expressing a desire to remain friends. The individual seeks advice on how to encourage him to seek a diagnosis for BPD without causing offense and inquires about insurance coverage for therapy. Responses emphasize the importance of personal safety, particularly in light of verbal abuse and reckless driving, and suggest that a direct conversation about seeking therapy is necessary. Some comments also question the authenticity of the original poster, suggesting they may be a spammer.
KSmi
Hi!

You can call me KSmi. As the subject says I think my boyfriend has OCD and BPD. We've been together for almost a year. He used to be really fun and sweet when we were just dating. However, things changed when we started exclusively dating. Apparently, he has anger issues and a feisty temper. He is also impulsive. He gets really worked up when he drives recklessly. He also has a tendency to "verbally abuse" me and/or the people around us.

I have honestly been thinking about leaving him. His OC behaviour is tiring me out sad to say. I'd like for us to remain as friends, but I am not entirely sure that is possible. The thing is, I guess it would be best if we have him diagnosed for bpd first. Is there a way I could ask him to do it without sounding offensive?

Also, would insurance cover therapist consultations? Was thinking of contacting insurance companies from this directory, link deleted by Borek , but I am not familiar with them. So if you also have some advise re BPD and insurance I'd love to learn more about it, too!

Thanks!
 
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People like that only seem fun and interesting for first few days, honey, break up! :wink:

(I just wanted to use word honey as it fits perfect :biggrin:)

Your last few lines are full of spamish words! You might want to remove the link to be considered seriously.
 
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Nope, no advice on insurance or BPD. Just want to say agree with rootX. You should tell him you're not happy with him and that he should see a therapist, else the relationship isn't going to work. You shouldn't be in a car with someone who drives recklessly and you shouldn't be with someone who can't control their abusiveness either.
 
edit:

What I meant to say, per Borek's excellent point, is: Kiss my grits.
 
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KSmi said:
Apparently, he has anger issues and a feisty temper. He is also impulsive. He gets really worked up when he drives recklessly. He also has a tendency to "verbally abuse" me and/or the people around us.

I have honestly been thinking about leaving him. His OC behaviour is tiring me out sad to say. I'd like for us to remain as friends, but I am not entirely sure that is possible. The thing is, I guess it would be best if we have him diagnosed for bpd first. Is there a way I could ask him to do it without sounding offensive?

It's hard when those around you (and those you are close to) suffer from mental illness (or develop it). At this point you need to insure your safety first (I say this because verbal abuse can lead to other forms of abuse, and if you're in the car when he is having an episode, it also is unsafe for you).

Unfortunately, I have no advise on how to get him to seek treatment. Maybe a group intervention can help, so not all blame will be placed on you?
 
You do understand you are talking to a spammer, who started the thread just to post a link, and never came back?

See this if you doubt.
 
Borek said:
You do understand you are talking to a spammer, who started the thread just to post a link, and never came back?

See this if you doubt.

Ugh... I don't doubt you.
 
are you happy? you should be.
 

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