Hi North!
I can understand your frustration.
You have a problem and nobody seems to really understand what
the question is.
I hope I can help you a bit by not talking to much math, but using analogies.
As far as I understood, you are wondering how identical things like protons and electrons can form so many different appearances in our macroscopic world (right?).
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Ans:Yes
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I'll try to answer this:
The basic clue to it is
combination.
I hope you agree with me, that identical items can be combined in very different ways. If you take some yellow, red, and blue paint and you take single drops of each, you are able to produce countless different colours, though the individual paintparticles don't change. You agree with me so far?
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Ans:Yes
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Then let's go to different structures:
By taking metalbars and screws you are able to produce very different shapes and structures - though the screws and bars themselves are identical.
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Ans: true
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The same applies to atoms and molecules.
Water's main property (which is the cause for its "strange" behaviour) is its
dipol-character. That means, that the oxygen draws a bit stronger at the electrons than the hydrogen does, resulting in a partial charge of the "oxygen-end" of the molecule:
Therefore water molecules like to arrange themselves in certain structures, depending on the availabe energy (that means temperature)
If you take the above structure to be this: <
then water molecules like to arrange in "stacks" :
<<<<<<<<
This is not a firm bond, it's flexible, therefore resulting in a fluid appearance.
But they need energy to be "movable" in such a way.
When the energy is to low (i.e. it's colder), they form hexameres (that means, six molecules form like a three-dimensional "star"), which is a cristalline structure.
You can imagine, that you can't pack those "spiny" stars as tight as the "stacks" I mentioned above, so frozen water needs more space than fluid water.
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Ans: so far so good
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Metals have a different structure. They like to arrange themselves in symmetric "grids" (more shaped like cubes). That's a different kind of a crystalline. We imagine it to consist of symmetrically arranged cores with the electrons "floating" freely in between (resulting in the conducting properties of metal).
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Ques: if the electrons are floating freely how does it keep it's balance,keep it's existence so to speak?
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The "texture" of a metal is a result of inhomogenity. Natural matter is not assembled atom after atom, but kind of "grows". So you don't have one big crystal in a piece of metal, but many different crystals attached to each other and "impurification" with other substances. If you were able to create a "pure" monocristalline piece of metal (as is partially possible by now), the metal would not be textured, but seem absolutely homogenous.
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Ques: how would i picture this absolutely homogenous state, of this kind of metal?
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The actual color and surface-property (as reflectivity) is a result of the substances' interaction with light. Depending on how light is absorbed, reflected, etc. we perceive different molecular structures to look diffently in our macroscopic world.
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ans:interesting
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If you are wondering
why different molecules form different structures, or why molecules are formed of protons, electrons and neutrons at all,
then I just have to say that this can be explained quite well by basic physical effects as charge-interaction etc. (but I think you know these).
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I hope this is of some help for you, if I still didn't get your question right, I'm sorry! Just try again!