What do 'nerdy' guys like in girls?

[BobG]

Oh...

I apologize for exploding at you.

Why a person should never apologize on the internet? We're up to 5 posts about the apology (counting this one) and the betting pool has opened.

My bet is two pages.

Edit: Oops! Make that 6. DanP snuck in another post while I was typing this one.

 

[DaveC426913]

I don't consider he overreacted.

Well, he does.

Or do you know better because you're older than him?

He is 17. Recall how we all where at 17. This is the gist, I don't believe the man has anything to apologize for. You may all differ, and expect apologies from 17 years old, but I don't. It's natural for him to try and assert himself in the front of older generation. A 40somethig years old should be less rigid, he was already there.

Is it all right with you if Char. Limit exhibits some independent thought and apologizes of his own free will for actions that he feels deserves an apology? Or are you going to continue to tell him he's wrong - that he should not have done something he chose to do?


The irony here is that everyone else is treating Char.Limit as an adult except you. You feel that the acceptability of his behaviour is defined by his age and you are telling him what he wants to do is wrong.

Put me down for 15 posts.

 

[DanP]

Is it all right with you if Char. Limit exhibits some independent thought and apologizes of his own free will for actions that he feels deserves an apology?

Yes it is allright.

Or are you going to continue to tell him he's wrong - that he should not have done something he chose to do?

Sorry man, I didnt told him that he is wrong to apologize. I told him that I find his attitude natural, and IMO he has nothing to apologize for. He did nothing wrong in my eyes, and I informed him of my support and understanding.

 

[DanP]

The irony here is that everyone else is treating Char.Limit as an adult except you. You feel that the acceptability of his behaviour is defined by his age and you are telling him what he wants to do is wrong.

Put me down for 15 posts.

fundamental attribution error.

 

[DaveC426913]

fundamental attribution error.

Elaborate how you think that is applicable here.

 

[DanP]

Elaborate how you think that is applicable here.

You make dispositional rather than situational explanations for my behavior.

EDIT: since you wanted an elaboration:

dispositional:
- everyone else is treating Char.Limit as an adult except you
- You *feel* that the acceptability of his behavior is defined by his age
- you are telling him what he wants to do is wrong.

situational:
- I feel that the situation is not so bad at all and doesn't needs an apology
- he *is* a 17 years old , thing which do not exclude him beeing a adult
- I can understand his behaviour. I really do.
- I am not telling him that what he wants to do is wrong. I told him that "he has no reasons to apologize" in this *situation*
as opposed to "apologizing is wrong"

 

[Dembadon]

... Recall how we all where at 17. ... You may all differ, and expect apologies from 17 years old, but I don't. A 40somethig years old should be less rigid, he was already there.

Apologies are/should be taught from the moment one can form words. Owning up to one's behavior and taking responsibility for it is a part of maturing. There is nothing wrong with it. It is a sign of maturity.

... It's natural for him to try and assert himself in the front of older generation. ...

One does not need to overreact to assert oneself, no matter the environment. He simply apologized for overreacting.

 

[DanP]

One does not need to overreact to assert oneself, no matter the environment. He simply apologized for overreacting.

True, but it happens very often. Second, I don't feel what he did in this situation was so wrong. I simply informed him of my view over the incident. As I said, you may all disagree with me, and this is OK, but it doesn't have anything to do with "apology is good or wrong", "responsibility and perceived responsibility" and so on.

 

[Magellan7t]

Or, marry your own sugarmomma and become a stay at home dad. Then it's you that will take everything she's got if she decides to dump you for someone with a little more interesting life than yours. (Being that this thread is for nerdy guys, and not gigolos, this last will probably be unfeasible. It could make an interesting concept for a sitcom, though.)

Edit: Thinking about it, the last paragraph is probably just as sexist as thinking a woman should stay at home. Actually, I just have a hard time understanding why either would want a life staying at home every day. Even if I had been the primary child raiser, I would have needed at least a part time job.

Not necessarily. Most of the women who have made advances toward me are older women, usually in their forties, which according to all my friends is kind of strange. Stranger still, virtually all the women of any age who've come on to me were hispanic. I've never been able to figure out why, but it suits me fine - I like older women and latinas.

Some people have no personal ambition and simply want to be taken care of. You don't have to think or worry too much. You just establish your simple routine and do it every day. I've noticed that the people who really hold onto the stay at home position are excitable and tend to have an unusually low threshold and tolerance for stress.

Apologies are/should be taught from the moment one can form words. Owning up to one's behavior and taking responsibility for it is a part of maturing. There is nothing wrong with it. It is a sign of maturity.

I've got to agree with this and what Dave has said. I'm impressed with Char's attitude. He's got better manners than I had at that age.

 

[Char. Limit]

I am laughing at this entire argument...

I think that the true irony is that both sides are claiming the other is wrong... but they're both right. I did overreact, in my view, but DanP is, after all, only defending his (I assume you're a guy) opinion.

In other news, you do have to keep in mind that with the divorce rate as high as it is, you are more likely than not to have your marriage fail. And we all know what happens then...

 

[DaveC426913]

...with the divorce rate as high as it is, you are more likely than not to have your marriage fail...

Not so bad really, considering the only other end to a marriage is death...

 

[Char. Limit]

Well, don't marriage vows include "till death do us part"?

With that part, a marriage ending in death is a "success".

Marraige -only here is dying considered a success.

 

[Magellan7t]

I am laughing at this entire argument...

It's a silly argument, but nerds will argue most anything. Especially on the internet.

Good signature, by the way, Dave. That song always got on my nerves a little.

 

[DanP]

It's a silly argument, but nerds will argue most anything. Especially on the internet.

Ironically, things tend to go much more smoothly over a beer :P A bit of direct experience with the other person works mini-wonders, and you tend to be a bit more empathic

 

[DanP]

Hatfield & all, 1966:

http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/13.pdf

this is an older study, but the conclusions are nevertheless interesting.

It basically concludes that the only strong predictor of the desire to date again after a initial date is physical attractiveness. (other factors considered where intelligence, personality, self acceptance).

 

[rootX]

Intelligent, responsible, and down to Earth girls are so awesome!

 

[MotoH]

Intelligent, responsible, and down to Earth girls are so awesome!

I prefer astronauts myself.

 

[DanP]

I prefer astronauts myself.

If you marry one, you can safely say that you cornered the market :P

 

[rootX]

I prefer astronauts myself.

I was talking about a girl in arts in particular. Profession doesn't seem to matter IMO.

 

[DanP]

I was talking about a girl in arts in particular. Profession doesn't seem to matter IMO.

Let's stereotype , for the fun of it. Artists are anything but: down to Earth & responsible.

 

[Proton Soup]

Hatfield & all, 1966:

http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/13.pdf

this is an older study, but the conclusions are nevertheless interesting.

It basically concludes that the only strong predictor of the desire to date again after a initial date is physical attractiveness. (other factors considered where intelligence, personality, self acceptance).

yeah, i haven't decided if i want to invest in reading it all, but it would have been nice if they had supplied a set of curves based on the data to compare to the theoretical curves in fig. 1.

 

[GeorginaS]

Let's stereotype , for the fun of it. Artists are anything but: down to Earth & responsible.

Why would you want to do that? For the fun of it?

 

[MotoH]

Why would you want to do that? For the fun of it?

Because its spot on for every artist I know.

 

[GeorginaS]

Why would you want to do that? For the fun of it?

Because its spot on for every artist I know.

Hrm. I'll have to think about that.

 

[DanP]

Why would you want to do that? For the fun of it?

Yeah, playing with stereotypes is funny. The thing is , while they are simplified conceptions of groups(and hence useless to infer anything about an individual) , many (but not all) hold true. Ill let the statement OP (and you) decide if this one holds any water

 

[Pinu7]

Because its spot on for every artist I know.

Usually stereotyping is wrong, but this is so true.

 

[BobG]

yeah, i haven't decided if i want to invest in reading it all, but it would have been nice if they had supplied a set of curves based on the data to compare to the theoretical curves in fig. 1.

I prefer girls that come supplied with a set of curves, too.

I think it must be related to my interest in math.

 

[Proton Soup]

I prefer girls that come supplied with a set of curves, too.

I think it must be related to my interest in math.

0.7 waist-to-hips ratio ftw

 

[Lancelot59]

0.7 waist-to-hips ratio ftw

I laughed at that.

 

[DanP]

I prefer girls that come supplied with a set of curves, too.

I prefer women who fancy jumping in bed with me.