Understanding Interactions Between Male and Female Students in Academic Settings

  • Thread starter theoritician
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In summary, the old professors were talking and the female student wanted to leave but couldn't because the male student was talking. The female student has a big crush on the male professor and when she couldn't interrupt, she just left. The male professor is attracted to her and thinks she is smart.
  • #106
rewebster said:
Its not that you take things too seriously--it may be that you are one of those without an adventurous spirit-(not interested in new things, and trying new things)

You don't know how serious I feel when I am near her. However very relaxed when thinking about her. In fact its a good state to be into do some rigorous maths but not for socialising.

You're right about that adventure thing.
 
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  • #107
theoritician said:
You don't know how serious I feel when I am near her. However very relaxed when thinking about her. In fact its a good state to be into do some rigorous maths but not for socialising.

You're right about that adventure thing.

Dude, you making too much out of this.

Rigorous mathematics and girls?
 
  • #108
theoritician said:
You don't know how serious I feel when I am near her. However very relaxed when thinking about her. In fact its a good state to be into do some rigorous maths but not for socialising.

You're right about that adventure thing.

It sounds like you're in that 98% of the population that listens (hears) to other peoples (good) advice but never actually follows any of it.



STEP 1) Think about the fact that you HAVE already TALKED to her (about the class, or whatever it was).

STEP 2) Since you HAVE talked to her already (and you didn't faint or keel over), talk to her again about the same stuff---'whatever' it was (logically, you won't faint or keel over, because you didn't the first time).


STEP 3) Repeat STEP 2 (over and over again, if necessary)
 
  • #109
rewebster said:
It sounds like you're in that 98% of the population that listens (hears) to other peoples (good) advice but never actually follows any of it.

But 99% of advice is bad advice.
 
  • #110
JasonRox said:
But 99% of advice is bad advice.

so out of all the posts...?
 
  • #111
So, since this is a girl talk thread, I have a question myself.

What do you guys think a 23 year old going out with an 18 year old girl?

I turned down an 18 year old just based on the fact that we couldn't go to bars together. Which was funny because she was like... "We should hang out sometime." and I'm just like... "We can go to so-and-so bar." ... and she responds ..."But I'm 18." ... and I'm just like... "And what else is there to do." (Obviously go to her house is an option. I just felt odd hooking up with a girl that can't even go to the bars.) She seemed frustrated, but oh well. She'll come see me again and be like... "I'm 19 now!" Haha.

Anyways, what do you guys think about it?

I figured it's ok now that I think about it. (Well actually it's because 50% of the girls I meet are 18-19 years old. And now I got a job where I'll be working with mostly 1st year students, so it's going to be more like 90% are going to be 18.)

I don't see the big deal now. If she's cool, she's cool.

Note: I have my eye on two girls right now and both are 21. Just that one has a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem to care. I stopped talking to her pretty much because she isn't getting anything until she ditches her boyfriend.
 
  • #112
theoritician said:
What is giong on?
You are smart; no one in this forum can or will figure it out for you.
 
  • #113
rewebster said:
It sounds like you're in that 98% of the population that listens (hears) to other peoples (good) advice but never actually follows any of it.



STEP 1) Think about the fact that you HAVE already TALKED to her (about the class, or whatever it was).

STEP 2) Since you HAVE talked to her already (and you didn't faint or keel over), talk to her again about the same stuff---'whatever' it was (logically, you won't faint or keel over, because you didn't the first time).


STEP 3) Repeat STEP 2 (over and over again, if necessary)

You might try talking about something else as well. Otherwise it'll be like "I have nothing to talk about with this guy" and if you ever do get her to go out with you, she'll flake.
 
  • #114
JasonRox said:
If you actually TALK to girls and be SOCIAL with them, you'll see that girls make moves. But they only make moves on guys they want, so if you're boring, it'll never happen. You must be a man of interest, integrity and not afraid to express sexuality. I used to be shy around women and even men, but I've changed a lot over the years. Now, I can just talk to women, flirt, and put my arm around them and all that. It takes practice that's all.

You seem to expect a lot from girls when you seem to rarely ever talk to them (outside of friends and family).

I've realized there is quite some truths in your statement. I use to laugh at people who try to be sociable in a mix sex environment but now they are the people laughing at me (including you I'd imagine).
 
  • #115
JasonRox said:
So, since this is a girl talk thread, I have a question myself.

What do you guys think a 23 year old going out with an 18 year old girl?

I turned down an 18 year old just based on the fact that we couldn't go to bars together. Which was funny because she was like... "We should hang out sometime." and I'm just like... "We can go to so-and-so bar." ... and she responds ..."But I'm 18." ... and I'm just like... "And what else is there to do." (Obviously go to her house is an option. I just felt odd hooking up with a girl that can't even go to the bars.) She seemed frustrated, but oh well. She'll come see me again and be like... "I'm 19 now!" Haha.

Anyways, what do you guys think about it?

I figured it's ok now that I think about it. (Well actually it's because 50% of the girls I meet are 18-19 years old. And now I got a job where I'll be working with mostly 1st year students, so it's going to be more like 90% are going to be 18.)

I don't see the big deal now. If she's cool, she's cool.

Note: I have my eye on two girls right now and both are 21. Just that one has a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem to care. I stopped talking to her pretty much because she isn't getting anything until she ditches her boyfriend.

Are you talking on a Hedonistic level?; or being a 19-year old, is she smart/mature/(she hasn't experienced enough of the world as you) enough for you (being a 23 year old?); or do you only date women that YOU'RE interested in (and not vice-versa)?
 
  • #116
theoritician said:
I've realized there is quite some truths in your statement. I use to laugh at people who try to be sociable in a mix sex environment but now they are the people laughing at me (including you I'd imagine).

The more you 'feel' isolated, less the chance you'll mingle------


She's wondering if you have any thing to offer to her (conversation, companionship, etc.)-----Do you?


You're carrying on a conservation --here--------if you would talk to her (even) as much as you've posted---I wouldn't see a problem
 
  • #117
rewebster said:
do you only date women that YOU'RE interested in (and not vice-versa)?

Of course I only date women I AM interested in. Duh, why would I date someone I'm not interested in.

Oh, and not in the Hedonistic level. Just for fun and chills.
 
  • #118
JasonRox said:
Of course I only date women I AM interested in. Duh, why would I date someone I'm not interested in.

Oh, and not in the Hedonistic level. Just for fun and chills.

that IS the Hedonistic level




and as far as the "DUH" statement, a lot of women date men to FIND OUT whether or not they are interested in YOU (generic 'you', "men")---that 'word' "interested" often means a different thing to some women (as it sounds pretty specific to you).
 
  • #119
rewebster said:
and as far as the "DUH" statement, a lot of women date men to FIND OUT whether or not they are interested in YOU (generic 'you', "men")---

That might be your experience, but it's not mine. If I'm on a date with a girl, I'm interested and she's interested. End of story.

Yeah, that is the Hedonistic sense, but I mean pleasure is not the focus.
 
  • #120
JasonRox said:
That might be your experience, but it's not mine. If I'm on a date with a girl, I'm interested and she's interested. End of story.

Yeah, that is the Hedonistic sense, but I mean pleasure is not the focus.

In Hedonism, PLEASURE is the focus

are you thinking 'heathenism' by mistake?
 
  • #121
theoritician said:
I've realized there is quite some truths in your statement. I use to laugh at people who try to be sociable in a mix sex environment
Do you know why you laughed at those people?
but now they are the people laughing at me (including you I'd imagine).
I am not.
 
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  • #122
EnumaElish said:
Do you know why you laughed at those people?

Because I didn't see the point in putting so much effort into pleasing the opposite sex. Its like laughing at someone who spends a lot of time cleaning their house. However, when you get older you see more point in cleaning the house perhaps, same goes with my original point.
 
  • #123
theoritician said:
Because I didn't see the point in putting so much effort into pleasing the opposite sex. Its like laughing at someone who spends a lot of time cleaning their house. However, when you get older you see more point in cleaning the house perhaps, same goes with my original point.

If you're even a little depressed, you should make an appointment with the school counselor. He/she may be able to help you. You may have problems more deeply rooted that can be helped from chit-chatting about 'things' on a forum.
 
  • #124
theoritician said:
Because I didn't see the point in putting so much effort into pleasing the opposite sex.

I still laugh at those people.
 
  • #125
JasonRox said:
So, since this is a girl talk thread, I have a question myself.

What do you guys think a 23 year old going out with an 18 year old girl?

I turned down an 18 year old just based on the fact that we couldn't go to bars together. Which was funny because she was like... "We should hang out sometime." and I'm just like... "We can go to so-and-so bar." ... and she responds ..."But I'm 18." ... and I'm just like... "And what else is there to do." (Obviously go to her house is an option. I just felt odd hooking up with a girl that can't even go to the bars.) She seemed frustrated, but oh well. She'll come see me again and be like... "I'm 19 now!" Haha.

Anyways, what do you guys think about it?

I figured it's ok now that I think about it. (Well actually it's because 50% of the girls I meet are 18-19 years old. And now I got a job where I'll be working with mostly 1st year students, so it's going to be more like 90% are going to be 18.)

I don't see the big deal now. If she's cool, she's cool.

Note: I have my eye on two girls right now and both are 21. Just that one has a boyfriend, but she doesn't seem to care. I stopped talking to her pretty much because she isn't getting anything until she ditches her boyfriend.

I think its best to be partners with someone as close your own age as possible if you want a serious relationship because life experiences does matter. i.e most people's same sex best friends are at a similar age to them so there must be a good reason for that.
 
  • #126
theoritician said:
I think its best to be partners with someone as close your own age as possible if you want a serious relationship because life experiences does matter. i.e most people's same sex best friends are at a similar age to them so there must be a good reason for that.

that's good advice (if you are looking for a 'life partner')--are you?

--You may not find that on the first time though---a lot of it is 'trial and error' until you do.


JasonRox says he looking for "Just for fun and chills"
 
  • #127
rewebster said:
The more you 'feel' isolated, less the chance you'll mingle------


She's wondering if you have any thing to offer to her (conversation, companionship, etc.)-----Do you?


You're carrying on a conservation --here--------if you would talk to her (even) as much as you've posted---I wouldn't see a problem

The thing is I find it hard to do these things mainly due to my lack of experience or practice as Jason was pointing at. But more fundalmentally it could just be the lack of opportunity. i.e if I was stranded on an island with her than communication would be much more natural.
 
  • #128
theoritician said:
The thing is I find it hard to do these things mainly due to my lack of experience or practice as Jason was pointing at. But more fundalmentally it could just be the lack of opportunity. i.e if I was stranded on an island with her than communication would be much more natural.

THAT is the way you HAVE to think about it---it doesn't matter what else is going on around you and her---because when you start talking to her, 'you and her' become an island.
---------------------------------

if you have a 'plan' (developed from what you want) --it goes easier and with less stess.-----do you 'want' to know her better? you talk to other women, don't you?
 
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  • #129
theoritician said:
The thing is I find it hard to do these things mainly due to my lack of experience or practice as Jason was pointing at. But more fundalmentally it could just be the lack of opportunity. i.e if I was stranded on an island with her than communication would be much more natural.

Although I'm going for just fun and chills, there is nothing saying that I won't find a special girl. That is the real goal. If I don't find the girl special, I won't have much fun. Having sex is great, but I won't sleep with anyone.

Also, it's all about practice. Don't sweat it. I started from no experience at all too!
 
  • #130
theoritician said:
The thing is I find it hard to do these things mainly due to my lack of experience or practice as Jason was pointing at. But more fundalmentally it could just be the lack of opportunity. i.e if I was stranded on an island with her than communication would be much more natural.
rewebster said:
THAT is the way you HAVE to think about it---it doesn't matter what else is going on around you and her---because when you start talking to her, 'you and her' become an island.
---------------------------------

if you have a 'plan' (developed from what you want) --it goes easier and with less stess.-----do you 'want' to know her better? you talk to other women, don't you?
You know what, there's a reason why they call it "falling" in love. Because the way girls fantasize about it, it's just something that happens, suddenly, unexpectedly, without being planned. So by all means, don't plan. Girls will be less susceptible to you if it seems like your trying to pick them up, just try and talk to them. As people. and 'see' if anything happens. There's, of course, much more to it than that, but if you're just starting out, start with that.
 
  • #131
Smurf said:
You know what, there's a reason why they call it "falling" in love. Because the way girls fantasize about it, it's just something that happens, suddenly, unexpectedly, without being planned. So by all means, don't plan. Girls will be less susceptible to you if it seems like your trying to pick them up, just try and talk to them. As people. and 'see' if anything happens. There's, of course, much more to it than that, but if you're just starting out, start with that.

Smurf gets it. :approve:
 
  • #132
JasonRox said:
Although I'm going for just fun and chills, there is nothing saying that I won't find a special girl. That is the real goal. If I don't find the girl special, I won't have much fun. Having sex is great, but I won't sleep with anyone.

Also, it's all about practice. Don't sweat it. I started from no experience at all too!

What happened to your former girl friends? Do you one at the moment?
 
  • #133
Math Is Hard said:
Smurf gets it. :approve:

Dont be silly. You ladies don't realize what all is involved in making a proper first move. First there's the finding out of your schedule and where you live. Then you have to follow her around in the van and take pics for a while... its grossly complicated. Right guys?
 
  • #134
By the way MIH I understand you like scrabble.
I made you a drink...
scrabbletini.jpg

;-)
 
  • #135
Smurf said:
You know what, there's a reason why they call it "falling" in love. Because the way girls fantasize about it, it's just something that happens, suddenly, unexpectedly, without being planned. So by all means, don't plan. Girls will be less susceptible to you if it seems like your trying to pick them up, just try and talk to them. As people. and 'see' if anything happens. There's, of course, much more to it than that, but if you're just starting out, start with that.


Maybe you're past that simple 'planning' stage as to talking to someone. --that part, just try and talk to them is what the 'problem' is that we're talking about and have been talking about. It's easy to say/suggest if you've been through it enough times that its 'no problem' ('just go up and talk to them, what's the problem?').

---Just go up and fly the airplane, What's the problem?----------(do you mean, you CAN'T?)

theoritician said:
What happened to your former girl friends? Do you one at the moment?

Here is half the 'problem'---'have' ----(have is 'missing' from your second sentence)

theoritician---'Expectations' are what can mess up a situation. You already have expectations of the meeting, the talking, the acceptance level, the problems, etc. ---and you 'expect' problems at the same time. If you go in with no expectations--none, zero, nada--you won't be disappointed, because you didn't expect anything in the first place.

If you walked up to someone and asked for directions to 'some' place, you wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't answer--because that's the way some people are (the next person may give you them).

You have got to, at least, plan to move your feet (thus, moving your body) toward this woman, and you have to plan to open your mouth and talk to her (if you want), and it would be best to plan on having no expectations.
-----------------------------------------

This will probably make things just worse (but, oh my, what a song!):


http://bedazzled.blogs.com/bedazzled/files/02_the_look_of_love_vocal_dusty_springfield_1.mp3


(hit the 'refresh' button as often as necessary)
 
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  • #136
theoritician said:
What happened to your former girl friends? Do you one at the moment?

I broke up with my girlfriend like 2-3 months ago. I wasn't happy, so I was just like, it's cut.

I still see her though but in a non-exclusive way. I think it's driving her nuts because she doesn't want me to see anyone else. She's kind of freaking me out now like almost like she thinks we're becoming exclusive or something. I'm hanging out with another girl this week so maybe that will send a message that it's not exclusive. I have no idea. If not, then I'll suggest that we don't see each other again.

I'll tell other girls that I'm seeing someone else at the same time. Most girls generally don't care although most girls and guys think that's not true. It is though. If a girl likes you, she's going to want to be with you... end of story. If that happens to be in a casual setting, they'll do it, but they'll work hard to try and keep all the attention to herself but of course you do your part too. Of course she can see other guys, that doesn't bother me at all. My ex-gf is well aware of the fact that she can.

What pisses me off now is when a girl wants you, but won't dump her boyfriend? It's like... um... you don't even want the guy but you stay with him. You don't want to be that guy. You're at high risk of being in a relationship with a girl that will cheat on you. I'll probably still hook up with the girl, hopefully soon, but damn get rid of the guy. How can you possibly have a happy relationship or marriage (later on) if you cheated? Oh well.
 
  • #137
theoritician said:
Because I didn't see the point in putting so much effort into pleasing the opposite sex. Its like laughing at someone who spends a lot of time cleaning their house. However, when you get older you see more point in cleaning the house perhaps, same goes with my original point.
An apt metaphor. Do you see a lot of clutter in the house?

I support rewebster's advice about seeking professional help. It takes strength and courage.
 
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  • #138
Had an opportunity today. She waited again and after my questions to the prof. we managed a conversation for the first time. It was quite natural.
 
  • #139
Well done. It only took you nearly a month.
 
  • #140
Easy does it, TestUser12.
 

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