I'd choose the
Library of Babel.
If honor and wisdom and happiness are not for me, let them be for others. Let heaven exist, though my place be in hell. Let me be outraged and annihilated, but for one instant, in one being, let Your enormous Library be justified. The impious maintain that nonsense is normal in the Library and that the reasonable (and even humble and pure coherence) is an almost miraculous exception. They speak (I know) of the ``feverish Library whose chance volumes are constantly in danger of changing into others and affirm, negate and confuse everything like a delirious divinity.'' These words, which not only denounce the disorder but exemplify it as well, notoriously prove their authors' abominable taste and desperate ignorance. In truth, the Library includes all verbal structures, all variations permitted by the twenty-five orthographical symbols, but not a single example of absolute nonsense.
Admittedly, the first big problem with this universe is gravity. If the library is infinite, then the distribution of mass is uniform, and there's just as much mass pulling you "up" as there is pulling you "down". In fact, there should be no up or down.
But, assuming there's gravity for some reason, the other problem is their waste and disposal system.
Since the library is infinite, they don't have to worry about dead bodies.
Once I am dead, there will be no lack of pious hands to throw me over the railing; my grave will be the fathomless air; my body will sink endlessly and decay and dissolve in the wind generated by the fall, which is infinite.
Seems like a great idea, except if the library is infinite, then there must be an infinite number of librarians on the infinite number of floors above you, which means an infinite number of dead bodies falling past your floor in various states of decay. That doesn't actually mean the density of dead bodies falling past your floor is particularly high, since librarians probably live around 75 years or so before they die? And librarians falling from floors far enough above you will have decayed by time they fall past your floor? And librarians falling from far, far above you will be passing your floor at incredibly high rates of speed, perhaps close to the speed of light? (Which just emphasizes the gravity problem!)
Somehow, though, I find the restrooms a little more disturbing. Obviously, you're not going to rig a plumbing system for an infinite library when all you have to do is flush the waste out the back of the restroom and let it fall forever. But again, there's an infinite number of librarians on the infinite number of floors above you and each librarian above you will defecate a lot more than once every 75 years!
I'd figure out how many dead bodies and waste would be falling past my floor, and the average velocity of the stuff falling past my floor, but, again, this is an infinite library and at least one of the books has to have the answer without me having to figure this out myself.
If only I could find that damn book!
I guess the obvious thing would be to figure out how many rooms it would take to hold every possible book in every possible order, but somehow I just found their waste disposal system a little more pressing.
And, equally obvious, I care more about an interesting problem than I do pleasant living conditions to choose the Library of Babel as my scifi universe.
With all of the waste falling at different speeds, I wonder how many collisions there are and how far the debris scatters with each collision. Somehow, I feel like the picture of that universe has as much resemblance to the actual conditions as the pictures of Big Macs do to the Big Macs they actually put in the bag.
