Danger said:
What the hell kind of creeps try to pass themselves off as men?
The only answer I can think of is that they are cowards. My father works in real estate now and was doing quite well for himself, though times are a bit tougher now. When he deals with clients he is polite and sociable. At home I consider him a monster. He isn't very physically violent these days but his temper is constantly set to the red zone. He literally stomps and growls and hisses and curses all day. At least he isn't punching holes in the walls now that he owns the place. Maybe his age is catching up with him.
My parents split up for a year when I was 10. That was the best year of my life. Then for some reason my mother decided to go back to him. I was very upset with her decision, and I was right that there would only be more of the same kind of behaviour.
My brother was born shortly after they got back together. We were poor and my father was having trouble finding and keeping a job. They argued about money constantly. They couldn't pay the rent and we were evicted. They stayed with whatever friend would put them up for a while until the school year was over. Then we were moving from campground to campground for the summer, and my brother was only a few months old. Whenever he cried my father would shake him and scream until he was red in the face, SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP! Then he would drive off and come back the next night. We discovered later that my brother had a hernia. The shaking didn't stop until my brother was too big to easily pick up.
When I was 18 I dropped out of college after my freshman year of architectural engineering. After that my mother became schitzophrenic. My extended family came to the conclusion that me dropping out was what caused it. Eventually her condition degraded until she stopped working and would only sit at the kitchen table smoking cigarettes all night long, rocking back and forth and talking to things that weren't there. Sometimes she would speak in tounges and curses, staring at nothing. She created conspiracy theories, one of which involved the Kennedies and Jackie-O. Once we went without a meal for 3 days because there wasn't any food besides condiments in the house. About this time I was 19 and joined the military.
My mother was in that state for almost 10 years before she got help, by accident. I found out much later that Child Services was investigating my family. They were considering taking my brother out of the house and placing him with my aunt and uncle. It never happened, but after this my father was much less physically violent. My mother didn't want psychiatric help and because she wasn't deemed to be a threat to anyone they couldn't take her against her will. My father prevented her from receiving any help. I don't have any proof of that, but my father was always saying he was worried that he would wake up with a knife in his chest. He told me that he found my mother with an unloaded rifle barrel in her mouth one night. My brother told me a story about her burning a bible in the kitchen sink. It seems apparent to me that he knew she was a threat to her own safety and others, but must have concealed this information to prevent her from getting help. I think he enjoyed the sense of superiority he felt over her in that condition.
I remember the night that my mother finally got help. At that time I was out of the military. I spent a few years driving around the country and happened to be home for a few weeks when it happened. My brother and I were going to the video store to rent some games. We saw our mother walking down the street and figured she was going to the store to buy some cigarettes. After we got back we noticed she wasn't home, which was unusual because she was always sitting at the kitchen table. We went out driving around looking for her and didn't see her anywhere. Several hours later we got a phone call from the police. Turns out she had hitchhiked to Boston and was walking around until a policeman noticed her and realized she wasn't mentally sound. She was taken to the mental hospital there. Her condition started improving quickly after that.
A few years ago I was staying with my parents while I went back to school. This is when I learned of my father's new hobby of killing whatever small animals wander into his backyard, squirrels, birds, skunks, whatever. After a year of this we had a heated argument and he said I was effeminate and made an indirect threat to kill me. (said I would have to move out of the country)
What is worse than everything I have written above is that I know that he believes that he truly loves his family. It makes it hard to hate him completely, and I find myself being sympathetic to him even though I consider him an absolute pig. I think the only reason he 'loves' his family is because he would be lonely without us and have nobody to express his anger at.
Danger, your father is a saint.
Our niece still occassionally misses her ex (who we threatened with death if he ever comes near her again)
I'll help you bury the body.
) would ask her "Where do you think you're going, you ****ing *****?!" if she started out the door without consulting him. Jeez, if she wants to go to the bar or whatever and I don't feel like it, it's "Okay... be careful... are you sure you have enough money?... call if you need anything."
