Why do some people struggle with public speaking?

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The discussion centers on the frustration caused by speakers who excessively use filler words like "er," "um," and "you know" during interviews and conversations. Participants express that such habits can be distracting and indicative of poor communication skills or nervousness. There's a consensus that while some speakers may not be naturally suited for radio or public speaking, the use of fillers often stems from a lack of preparation or experience. The conversation highlights the importance of pausing to think before responding, which can enhance clarity and engagement. Some contributors share personal experiences with public speaking anxiety and the challenges of overcoming it, noting that awareness of filler usage is the first step toward improvement. Additionally, cultural differences in filler usage are acknowledged, suggesting that these habits can vary widely among speakers from different backgrounds. Overall, the thread emphasizes the need for better communication techniques and the value of silence in conversation.
wolram
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It drives me nuts, a guy being interviewed on the radio, every time he spoke it was er,er,er,then there are the (you knowers) and the (umers)

Interviewer, what do you think about X?

Guest, well, er,er, um it is er, er, :mad:
 
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er, er, um, um :smile:
It just drives me crazy and I want to kill myself when it last so much time for some people to respond to something!
 
You can't expect everyone to be wonderful on the radio... some people just aren't cut out for it?
It bugs me, too, though... I just figure that I wouldn't be any better. :p
 
That is a sign of poor communications skills and lack of experience with rhetoric.

http://evula.org/dragoon/pics/captain.obvious.jpg
 
It's also a sign that the speaker doesn't have a clue as to what they are talking about.
 
It is also a nervous habbit that can happen when people either don't have a lot of speaking experience, or when they are in a new situation.

It drives me nuts too.
 
Unfortunately, it is a cumulative habit.
 
SimplySolitary_ said:
You can't expect everyone to be wonderful on the radio... some people just aren't cut out for it?
It bugs me, too, though... I just figure that I wouldn't be any better. :p

Why not just pause to think what you want to say, instead of filling in with
er,er,er, um,ums ?
 
wolram said:
Why not just pause to think what you want to say, instead of filling in with
er,er,er, um,ums ?
Horror vacui... :smile:
 
  • #10
wolram said:
Why not just pause to think what you want to say, instead of filling in with er,er,er, um,ums ?
That requires training. One must remain calm when stressed.

I also recently listened to someone who punctuated her sentences with ah, er, um, you know, and I found it rather distracting and unpleasant.
 
  • #11
arildno said:
Horror vacui... :smile:

Why should that be a problem? everyone must know that time is needed to think, so what if the radio goes quite for a few seconds, i would much prefer that to an onslaught of um,um,um, er, er, ers.
 
  • #12
Astronuc said:
That requires training. One must remain calm when stressed.

I also recently listened to someone who punctuated her sentences with ah, er, um, you know, and I found it rather distracting and unpleasant.

Well i have not been trained and i do not use fill in noises.
 
  • #13
wolram said:
Why should that be a problem? everyone must know that time is needed to think, so what if the radio goes quite for a few seconds, i would much prefer that to an onslaught of um,um,um, er, er, ers.
No, I was just offering a diagnosis of the er-umers. :smile:
 
  • #14
It's also, um, generally allowed, um, in normal, um, day to day, um, speaking.
You know?
 
  • #15
mmm..yeah..mmm. Gobble.
Was that what you meant??
 
  • #16
daveb said:
It's also, um, generally allowed, um, in normal, um, day to day, um, speaking.
You know?

er...I'm, not sure I follow you? Can, um, you explain er...again :rolleyes:

:smile:
 
  • #17
One time i had a boss who when asked a question he had no ansewer for, would, start from an upright possition and slowly recline into his directors chair, all the time holding a steady erm, that would not have been so bad,
but his usual ansewer would be, what do you think.
 
  • #18
wolram said:
It drives me nuts, a guy being interviewed on the radio, every time he spoke it was er,er,er,then there are the (you knowers) and the (umers)

Interviewer, what do you think about X?

Guest, well, er,er, um it is er, er, :mad:
As someone else mentioned, it's accepted (and sometimes required) in everyday speech.

Not only are there different types of speakers, there's different types of listeners. Ever have someone ask you a question who gets upset if you think about your answer silently for a few seconds before answering? It's very natural for a person to feel obligated to fill up the silence just to reassure the listener that they're not being ignored.
 
  • #19
BobG said:
As someone else mentioned, it's accepted (and sometimes required) in everyday speech.

Not only are there different types of speakers, there's different types of listeners. Ever have someone ask you a question who gets upset if you think about your answer silently for a few seconds before answering? It's very natural for a person to feel obligated to fill up the silence just to reassure the listener that they're not being ignored.

If the speaker wants attention that is a sure way of not getting it, it makes them sound like bumbling idiots.
 
  • #20
And no Bob, i once had to sit in a meeting with a board of directors from a group of companies and explain why a new machine they were relying on did not work, when they asked me a question i had to think and give a clear ansewer, my company came out very badly but the directors offered me a
job, i had to turn down as kia had just arrived.
 
  • #21
BobG said:
Ever have someone ask you a question who gets upset if you think about your answer silently for a few seconds before answering? It's very natural for a person to feel obligated to fill up the silence just to reassure the listener that they're not being ignored.
In the case where I do not have an answer, I'll simply say "I'll have to think about it and get back to you", or "Give me a moment to think about it," or I'll ask for more information or clarification, but I will never stand there and say, "well, er, um, you know, er, um". I can't even stand to hear that from my own mouth, let alone someone else's.
 
  • #22
I particularly don't like to hear 'you know' from an expert. If I knew, I wouldn't need to listen.
 
  • #23
I will occasionally use an 'umm' or an 'err' - almost always for comic effect - just before a punchline or witty repartee.
 
  • #24
I've recently given a radio interview that included it's fair share of 'err...'s. I posted it on these boards. In my defence, I had just waken up after a night of heavy drinking and dealing with excited freshmen girls.
 
  • #25
:smile: Atta boy dimitri!
 
  • #26
Dimitri Terryn said:
I've recently given a radio interview that included it's fair share of 'err...'s. I posted it on these boards. In my defence, I had just waken up after a night of heavy drinking and dealing with excited freshmen girls.

Oh, now i understand, booze and sex makes one um and er, i can not wait for my radio interview.:smile:
 
  • #27
A lot of people stumble into those fillers when they are unprepared on the topic they are discussing, and start getting nervous. It's basically a nervous habit. Though, a lot of people who do that don't even realize they do it until it is pointed out to them.

The first step in learning to eliminate that bad habit is to be made aware that they do it in the first place. I once taught a public speaking workshop, and when we did an exercise to point out the um-ah-y'know-ers during a spontaneously given speech, most of the participants were shocked to realize how frequently they used the fillers. But, once they were made aware of it, they were able to quickly learn to just pause while thinking of the next word, or better yet, to compose their thoughts a bit better before starting to speak.

I think some of it is a culturally learned thing too. I grew up with the generation that is notorious for filling gaps in sentences with "like." And, I've noticed that my friends who speak other languages as their primary language use different fillers...some silence, some a short, almost staccato "hmm" and so forth.
 
  • #28
I too can't speak in front of a public. Even if I have the speech/intro written before me I still can't speak in a confident manner. As soon I get to the stage a new feeling creeps in. I can't explain it but you too will know it if anyone here too has stage fear.
 
  • #29
wolram said:
Why not just pause to think what you want to say, instead of filling in with
er,er,er, um,ums ?
I have heard professionals use 'filler phrases' public speaking.. such as times with it from there, that being said, or variation having said that etc.. Filler phrases that are just that, don't add anything of substance to the discussion. It gives the speaker a chance to compose what they want to say without leaving dead air space
 
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  • #30
Gagan A said:
I too can't speak in front of a public. Even if I have the speech/intro written before me I still can't speak in a confident manner. As soon I get to the stage a new feeling creeps in. I can't explain it but you too will know it if anyone here too has stage fear.
I had a bit of fear of public speaking when starting out as an educator in the industrial field, even after decades of live musical performance (playing guitar and singing rock and blues). One of my first classroom jobs involved lecturing DuPont electrical supervisors in electrical safety in a week-long course. I had written a couple of chapters of the program, but still had the jitters about standing in front of a room full of guys that had been working as industrial electricians for decades. DuPont had offered an attractive early-retirement package, and they lost a lot of supervisors in a short period of time and were concerned that the replacements might have inadequate safety training. The "students" were a pretty nice bunch of guys though, and after the first morning's coffee break I felt a lot more comfortable lecturing and fielding questions.
 
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