Hey no problem that's what the site is for right?
The action potential isn't actually a 'thing' that travels around, it's more of a phase that a 'special' cell membrane goes through to transmit a nerual impulse, such as in an axon. So once the impulse is transmitted through that particular cell the action potential is over and the cell membrane returns to resting potential after a brief 'undershoot'. So nothing really 'ceases' the action potential in a particular cell, it's just a phase that pases by in the transmission of an impulse.
Now you must recall that the way that this works is that the action potential travels through to the axon terminal which releases neurotransmitters to excite or inhibit the next. For most motor neurons the excitory neurotransmitter is acetylcholine, stop this or use another molecule which will inhibit that particular neuron and you stop the contraction for that particular muscle fibre. So when a muscle contracts it has received a signal from a motor neuron to do so. It will continue to contract until Ca ions have returned to "normal" in the sarcoplasm. It's important to understand that during a muscle contraction you are not using all your muscle fibres, you are only recruiting the amount needed depending on how long and how strong the contraction is/has been going on for.
This might be confusing to you sorry, it's just hard for me to explain.
Now on to your other questions
The frequency of signal doesn't change but the amount of muscle fibres being recruited does. Low strength=low muscle fibres and vice versa. It is stopped once your CNS stops sending these signals and in some cases instead releases molecules for inhibition for muscle contraction (which in the case of you flexing your finger is more than likely controlled by your brain.)
The way neurotransmitters work is more in 'stages' the reason being is because sometimes one vessicle will occasionally leave the presynaptic cell. The body is set up so that these will not cause action potentials. This article discusses releasing ESPSs to achieve action potentials:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excitatory_postsynaptic_potential.
I think that I've answered those remaining questions from before if I missed anything or something isn't clear just holla

. Sorry that it took me so long to type the rest of this up I was kind of busy today.
Things I think are important to understand with regard to action potentials and neurons etc.:
-Action potentials are a phase which an excitable membrane go through after the membrane potential reaches the threshold voltage.
-After action potentials occur a excitable membrane does not transmit again and again right away, the membrane goes through a period of rest and after this rest period it requires more of a voltage difference for it to be excited.
-Neurotransmission occurs in stages, this is important to understand with regard to your 'leaky' calcium question. However if this occurred severly as to release more and more neurotransmitters I am not sure how it would effect the area or what the bodies response to this would be.
-One motor neuron controls only one area of muscle fibre, they are recruited in sync to change the strength of contraction.
-Muscle contraction stops by inhibition of motor neurons so either the excited neurons are inhibited and the resting cells do not receive any excitory neurotransmitters.
EDIT: I just realized I had forgotten about your question with regard to cardiac muscle. Cardiac autmaticity means that cardiac cells are able to operate on their own independent of an outside impulse. They basically create their own impulse and start an action potential on their own. The SA and AV nodes have these cells but the normal cardiac cells all have the capability. The SA node has a higher automaticity than the rest however and that is why it is responsible for heart rate. However sometimes other cardiac cells do fire off and this is this is known as ectopic focus, the cause of this however is pathological, so it is not normal for cardiac cells to do this. It normally does not cause any problem but it can cause cardiac dysrhythmia, or abnormal rhythm of the heart beat. If this occurs frequently it can cause poor cardiac contractions and thus reduce the hearts ability to pump blood.
As well I'm interested if this is just for personal knowledge or for a course, if it's for a course it would be helpful if I knew what level you are studying at. I'm all for having greater knowledge over things that interest you but if this is for a course you should focus mostly on understanding what is required before venturing out into other areas. So just make sure you understand what you need to know.