Would you date a girl with tatoos?

[Averagesupernova]

And if that's what you are comfortable with, fine. I don't know why you're getting so worked up that other people view it differently. That leaves a lot more tattooed women available for you if that is attractive or unimportant to you. Surely there is something that WOULD be a dealbreaker for you, and may not be for someone else. If everyone could be attracted to anyone else, it wouldn't be so hard to find a mate, now would it?

I'm not the one all worked up about it. Check the number of posts I have in this thread compared to the people that are really worked up. I'd be willing to bet that if I listed a bunch of reasons why I don't like you that you would be listing a whole bunch of reasons why my reasons are irrelevant (if you cared, which you would although you may not admit it). BUT, when it comes to this tattoo issue if things were switched around, which they actually are, then no argument from my side, or Turbo-1's side is good enough. I just think a little self-reflection might do us all a little bit of good. And for the record I don't dislike you moony. I may not agree with what you say, but I don't dislike you.

...it wouldn't be so hard to find a mate, now would it?

That's really sticking your neck out on a forum full of science geeks.

 

[GeorginaS]

Soooooooooo I did a nice little experiment today!

I was at the mall and the girl at the shoe store had tattos HEAD to TOE...LITERALLY. I grabbed her arm while she was ringing me up and yanked her toward me over the counter and asked her about her tattoos. How many she has, why she did it, how do they fill it in, do they do it all at once... She said she's been working on it for 6 years, and the ones on her neck hurt but so did near the ribs.

I love sterotypes, they always hold true.

I'm not quite sure I understood this bit. What was the experiment? What stereotype did you manage to fulfill by talking with this woman? And did you really and literally grab her arm and "yank her toward [you] over the counter"? And if you did, did she backhand you across the head and she properly should have? What kind of obnoxious behaviour is that on your part, Cyrus, to engage in with perfect strangers? And you have the nerve to point at other people and say they have no manners, class, or proper self presentation.

 

[Moonbear]

I'm not the one all worked up about it. Check the number of posts I have in this thread compared to the people that are really worked up. I'd be willing to bet that if I listed a bunch of reasons why I don't like you that you would be listing a whole bunch of reasons why my reasons are irrelevant (if you cared, which you would although you may not admit it). BUT, when it comes to this tattoo issue if things were switched around, which they actually are, then no argument from my side, or Turbo-1's side is good enough. I just think a little self-reflection might do us all a little bit of good. And for the record I don't dislike you moony. I may not agree with what you say, but I don't dislike you.

I don't see anyone else getting all that worked up. Well, there were a few disturbing posts in between...I really dislike the term "tramp stamp" to refer to those lower back tattoos, because regardless of whether I like them or not, I don't think anyone should be calling women "tramps." Even if there were a strong correlation between the tattoo and sexual promiscuity (which I really don't believe there is), that's STILL no reason to call someone a tramp. I don't care if it's "what the kids call it," it's derogatory no matter how I look at it.

That's a different issue than the original question of whether one would date someone with a tattoo. As you pointed out, there's a difference between disagreement and disliking. I have friends who have tattoos, I don't dislike people with tattoos, but I do disagree with them about that choice. Some of them got them simply because they think they are pretty...personally, I know my taste in fashion and art has changed over the years, and likely will continue to change, so what one considers pretty when they are 20-something may not be what they still consider pretty when they are 40-something. The reason seems shallow for such a permanent modification to one's body. One friend's boyfriend has tattoos all over. When you ask him what they mean (they're all Chinese or Japanese characters...he's not even sure which), he doesn't remember. I tease him that they probably read, "Gullible American Kid." This same friend has a tattoo of her own, which is rather large and has a lot of meaning to her and was something she got after a very traumatic incident and was a reaction to that...I have to wonder if she's going to think it was such a good idea in 30 years when she's stuck with a tattoo reminding her of that trauma when she should otherwise be moving on with life, and I have to wonder if she got the tattoo as a poor way of dealing with her grief/shock over the incident, or if having it as a constant reminder might hinder her from ever fully recovering.

I don't dislike any of these people, they're my friends, but we will always disagree on the issue of tattoos. But, I choose friends differently than I choose people I'd date. The reason is that to me, I can have a lot more differences in agreement with friends than I want to have with someone I would consider dating as more than a friend. With dating, I'm looking for prospects for a life long partner. That means we have to agree on a lot more things than someone I just spend a little time with each day or each week. Each of the reasons my friends have tattoos, as varied as they are, do reflect something about their personality that I would find incompatible in a lifelong partner. In the case of the ones who just find them pretty, it isn't compatible with my sense of aesthetics. With the one who can't even remember what the characters mean, it's impulsiveness underlying the choice to get a tattoo (actually, it shows up in other things he does too...tolerable in small doses, but would drive me bonkers if I had to live with that). With the one who has the meaningful tattoo, it seemed to me like an unhealthy reaction to grief, and while I can help a friend through that a little bit, she does need to get some other help in dealing with her grief, and it's not something I could deal with in a partner who would deal with grief in that way (or really, it's more about not dealing with it and finding ways to cover or hide it).

So, again, tattoos advertise something about the person. It doesn't mean I'd dislike them as a person, it just means I wouldn't date them, because what it advertises is not compatible with my approach to life. No different, actually, than someone who really likes tattoos not wanting to date someone who would choose to NEVER get a tattoo...the same issues would work both ways, and indicates an incompatibility for a relationship that requires a higher level of compatibility than "just" friendship. The question wasn't "would you talk to someone with tattoos," it was "would you DATE" them.

 

[Evo]

I don't see anyone else getting all that worked up. Well, there were a few disturbing posts in between...I really dislike the term "tramp stamp" to refer to those lower back tattoos, because regardless of whether I like them or not, I don't think anyone should be calling women "tramps." Even if there were a strong correlation between the tattoo and sexual promiscuity (which I really don't believe there is), that's STILL no reason to call someone a tramp. I don't care if it's "what the kids call it," it's derogatory no matter how I look at it.

Actually, that's one of the nicer things they are referred to as. (a quick google found a list of terms that I can't post here AND they were from a tatoo website). If I decided to get one, being fully aware of the nicknames, I wouldn't be getting upset about it.

The funniest one was "arse antlers", supposedly a common name in Australia.

 

[Averagesupernova]

Moonbear I more or less agree with everything you are saying. Especially this part:

No different, actually, than someone who really likes tattoos not wanting to date someone who would choose to NEVER get a tattoo...

But some of the posters on here don't see it that way. You cannot have it both ways when the assumption from the start by said posters is that tattoos are dumb. Right off the bat as soon as the tattoos are dumb statement is out there the comparison you made is irrelevant because in order to be a fair comparison both choices need to be considered equally 'dumb' by both sides. I will admit that in the past I have been very narrowminded on many issues including tattoos. My opinions would have been similar to Cyrus'. But as we grow older some of us realize that there is something wrong with everyone and we need to pick our battles.
-
One little inconspicous tattoo doesn't really say a whole lot about ones personality. A tattoo on the face or something like that most certainly does. And if it takes a tattoo on someones face to clue another person in on their personality then they are lacking some serious social skills. A blind person could figure it out pretty quickly.

 

[JasonRox]

All physical beauty does is get me to notice a girl -- but I, for one, have absolutely no interest in hitting on a total stranger. And since physical beauty is mostly irrelevant once you know a girl's personality, I really don't understand your point of view.

You`re joking right?

It gets you to notice the girl and hence want to know her personality. Sounds pretty darn important to me.

Sorry, but I won`t stay with a girl that was pretty then went ugly. And yes, I said that to all the girls I`ve dated.

Her attractiveness was a key reason why I am with her. Like Hurkyl said, got me to notice her.

 

[Evo]

You cannot have it both ways when the assumption from the start by said posters is that tattoos are dumb. Right off the bat as soon as the tattoos are dumb statement is out there the comparison you made is irrelevant because in order to be a fair comparison both choices need to be considered equally 'dumb' by both sides.

I don't understand this, are you saying that a person cannot hold the opinion that tatoos are dumb? I think they're dumb, I think self scarification and mutilation is also dumb. Obviously there are people that don't think they are dumb. People are voicing personal opinions here, of course you are going to have both positive and negative opinions as a result. My oldest daughter doesn't think tatoos are dumb, at least not arse antlers, my youngest daughter does.

The more I think about it, I think it would be hysterical to get some antlers tatooed on my lower back and really have arse antlers. Since it is unlikely that anyone aside from an EMT or the undertaker will ever see them... At least I could give someone a good laugh as my final goodbye.

I don't go around telling people with tatoos that I would never consider doing it, what they do is none of my business. But this thread is asking for an opinion, and people are giving them.

 

[JasonRox]

I don't see anyone else getting all that worked up. Well, there were a few disturbing posts in between...I really dislike the term "tramp stamp" to refer to those lower back tattoos, because regardless of whether I like them or not, I don't think anyone should be calling women "tramps." Even if there were a strong correlation between the tattoo and sexual promiscuity (which I really don't believe there is), that's STILL no reason to call someone a tramp. I don't care if it's "what the kids call it," it's derogatory no matter how I look at it.

That's a different issue than the original question of whether one would date someone with a tattoo. As you pointed out, there's a difference between disagreement and disliking. I have friends who have tattoos, I don't dislike people with tattoos, but I do disagree with them about that choice. Some of them got them simply because they think they are pretty...personally, I know my taste in fashion and art has changed over the years, and likely will continue to change, so what one considers pretty when they are 20-something may not be what they still consider pretty when they are 40-something. The reason seems shallow for such a permanent modification to one's body. One friend's boyfriend has tattoos all over. When you ask him what they mean (they're all Chinese or Japanese characters...he's not even sure which), he doesn't remember. I tease him that they probably read, "Gullible American Kid." This same friend has a tattoo of her own, which is rather large and has a lot of meaning to her and was something she got after a very traumatic incident and was a reaction to that...I have to wonder if she's going to think it was such a good idea in 30 years when she's stuck with a tattoo reminding her of that trauma when she should otherwise be moving on with life, and I have to wonder if she got the tattoo as a poor way of dealing with her grief/shock over the incident, or if having it as a constant reminder might hinder her from ever fully recovering.

I don't dislike any of these people, they're my friends, but we will always disagree on the issue of tattoos. But, I choose friends differently than I choose people I'd date. The reason is that to me, I can have a lot more differences in agreement with friends than I want to have with someone I would consider dating as more than a friend. With dating, I'm looking for prospects for a life long partner. That means we have to agree on a lot more things than someone I just spend a little time with each day or each week. Each of the reasons my friends have tattoos, as varied as they are, do reflect something about their personality that I would find incompatible in a lifelong partner. In the case of the ones who just find them pretty, it isn't compatible with my sense of aesthetics. With the one who can't even remember what the characters mean, it's impulsiveness underlying the choice to get a tattoo (actually, it shows up in other things he does too...tolerable in small doses, but would drive me bonkers if I had to live with that). With the one who has the meaningful tattoo, it seemed to me like an unhealthy reaction to grief, and while I can help a friend through that a little bit, she does need to get some other help in dealing with her grief, and it's not something I could deal with in a partner who would deal with grief in that way (or really, it's more about not dealing with it and finding ways to cover or hide it).

So, again, tattoos advertise something about the person. It doesn't mean I'd dislike them as a person, it just means I wouldn't date them, because what it advertises is not compatible with my approach to life. No different, actually, than someone who really likes tattoos not wanting to date someone who would choose to NEVER get a tattoo...the same issues would work both ways, and indicates an incompatibility for a relationship that requires a higher level of compatibility than "just" friendship. The question wasn't "would you talk to someone with tattoos," it was "would you DATE" them.

Nice post.

I don`t see what is wrong with sexual promiscuity. Most of the bad terms of girls are used from guys who can`t get girls (and of course, girls who hate those girls). Guys who actually have confidence and date girls don`t actually disrespect girls in such a childish way. Hence, probably why these guys date girls and why the others don`t.

 

[JasonRox]

I'm not quite sure I understood this bit. What was the experiment? What stereotype did you manage to fulfill by talking with this woman? And did you really and literally grab her arm and "yank her toward [you] over the counter"? And if you did, did she backhand you across the head and she properly should have? What kind of obnoxious behaviour is that on your part, Cyrus, to engage in with perfect strangers? And you have the nerve to point at other people and say they have no manners, class, or proper self presentation.

Why would she smack him? He showed curiosity in what seems to be her passion. Girls, and people alike, enjoy that.

 

[Cyrus]

I can't wrap my head around you saying that you would dump a girl instantly if she were to get a tattoo. Even if you were nearly in love with her, you would get rid of her?

Well, of course that's different. But its also purely hypothetical.

 

[Cyrus]

It's the same sports team. It just moved around a lot.

A little like Cyrus's waitress that had her ex-boyfriend's name tatooed on her arm. Considering about 50% of marriages end in divorce, it's not a smart decision to tatoo your spouse's name on your body, let alone a boyfriend or girlfriend.



Things change, including you and the things you desire. You'd like the stupid things you've done in your past to be a little more subdued than a tatoo. You have to look really close to see the stupid things I've done - the line running lengthwise on my finger because I stuck my hand in lawnmower, the two scars between my index and middle finger where I hung from a fence, a very subtle (and tasteful) scar above my lip from an ice cube fight, etc.

I'm especially proud of how I blended by most recent scar (obtained from cutting onions with one of those Think Geek knives that I learned about here at PF - a permanent reminder of PF that will last me the rest of my life ) into the creases of my knuckle. If I bend my knuckle as far as it will go, it's easily visible, but it's practically invisible when I lay my hand flat.

Okay, I'm getting as bad as that scene in Jaws.

You stuck your hand in a LAWNMOWER!?

 

[Cyrus]

I'm not quite sure I understood this bit. What was the experiment? What stereotype did you manage to fulfill by talking with this woman? And did you really and literally grab her arm and "yank her toward [you] over the counter"? And if you did, did she backhand you across the head and she properly should have? What kind of obnoxious behaviour is that on your part, Cyrus, to engage in with perfect strangers? And you have the nerve to point at other people and say they have no manners, class, or proper self presentation.

Yes, I did grab her arm and yank her. And she happily explained all her tattoos to me. I know how to talk to women, don't worry about me.

 

[GeorginaS]

I'm not quite sure I understood this bit. What was the experiment? What stereotype did you manage to fulfill by talking with this woman? And did you really and literally grab her arm and "yank her toward [you] over the counter"? And if you did, did she backhand you across the head and she properly should have? What kind of obnoxious behaviour is that on your part, Cyrus, to engage in with perfect strangers? And you have the nerve to point at other people and say they have no manners, class, or proper self presentation.

Why would she smack him? He showed curiosity in what seems to be her passion. Girls, and people alike, enjoy that.

You mean, like Cyrus, you also think that grabbing a stranger by the arm and yanking her is showing curiosity? Demonstrating an interest? I think it's rude and unacceptable behaviour.

 

[BobG]

You stuck your hand in a LAWNMOWER!?

Only a little bit to clean a grass clump from the chute ... and I kept my fingers parallel to the blades just in case I misjudged it. Putting my fingers in perpendicular to the blades would have been stupid.

 

[BobG]

You stuck your hand in a LAWNMOWER!?

Hmmm, interesting. You considered hanging from a fence by the skin between your fingers normal.

What kind of people do you hang around with?

I think getting tatoos is similar to sticking your hand in a lawn mower. It's generally a bad idea.

That doesn't mean you never do it. It means a person really ought to think carefully about it first.

In other words, I wouldn't rule out dating a person with a tatoo. It's just that most of the people that get tatoos would also be short sighted enough to scoop out the grass clumps from their lawnmower with their fingers perpendicular to the blade.

A person getting a tatoo ought to at least be sure they can minimize the damage if they change their minds about it later.

 

[scorpa]

I would never not date a guy because he had tattoos, it would just depend on the guy. Within reason of course, a few are ok but by no means do I find being covered in ink attractive. Many of my family members have tattoos and they are all great people. One of my favorite cousins is very artistic and has designed every tattoo she has and they are pretty neat. I don't see myself ever getting one though, I have nothing against them I just don't think I would ever find something I wanted forever.

 

[Cyrus]

You mean, like Cyrus, you also think that grabbing a stranger by the arm and yanking her is showing curiosity? Demonstrating an interest? I think it's rude and unacceptable behaviour.

<Shrug> Okay </Shrug>

What you think is not what's reality.

 

[K.J.Healey]

No, they're right. Grabbing a stranger's arm when they're not expecting it would be unacceptable. But physical contact while flirting/building rapport is pretty normal. So long as its not aggressive or violent in any way. If its unwanted most people would let you know.

 

[Moonbear]

<Shrug> Okay </Shrug>

What you think is not what's reality.

If a total stranger grabbed my arm and pulled me by it, he'd be lucky if I didn't call the cops, let alone cause serious bodily injury to get free of his grip. Sorry, but that part was incredibly rude, and I don't know why she was even willing to talk to you after that. It's one thing to show curiosity about her tattoos by asking about them and another to grab her arm uninvited.

 

[Cyrus]

Sigh, I didnt just walk up to her and grab her arm. No cops were called, and no one was slapped. Why? Because its not what you do, but how you do things when interacting with other people. She was totally cool as a cucumber.

Perhaps yanked was too strong of a word. I didnt yank her, as in 'grab her arm and fling her' towards me. It was a gentle tug.

I agree had I YANKEEEEEEEEEEED someone randomly, that would be quite rude.

But its ok, we both laughed and then got each others names written across our foreheads.

 

[DaveC426913]

Only a little bit to clean a grass clump from the chute ... and I kept my fingers parallel to the blades just in case I misjudged it. Putting my fingers in perpendicular to the blades would have been stupid.

Wait. You did this while it was on?

Given a choice between a woman covered head-to-toe in tats and BobG's death wish, I'd dump BobG and date the Illustrated Woman.

 

[DaveC426913]

If a total stranger grabbed my arm and pulled me by it, he'd be lucky if I didn't call the cops, let alone cause serious bodily injury to get free of his grip. Sorry, but that part was incredibly rude, and I don't know why she was even willing to talk to you after that. It's one thing to show curiosity about her tattoos by asking about them and another to grab her arm uninvited.

We weren't there. Without context, only Cyrus knows if it was appropriate.

 

[Moonbear]

We weren't there. Without context, only Cyrus knows if it was appropriate.

I can only go by what he described here. The way he described it sounded rather forceful. He's now clarified that his words were exaggerated.

 

[Cyrus]

I can only go by what he described here. The way he described it sounded rather forceful. He's now clarified that his words were exaggerated.

It was for dramatico effect!

 

[Moonbear]

It was for dramatico effect!

Then don't be surprised when we're dramatically worried you're being offensive.

 

[GeorginaS]

It was for dramatico effect!

You could have also mentioned that you were exaggerating when I specifically quoted you and asked you about your behaviour. You reiterated that that was precisely what you'd done; you didn't mention "dramatic effect" then.

Getting back to the topic, years ago, I would have immediately discounted dating someone because of a tattoo because tattoos weren't mainstream, they weren't particularly well done or art, (okay I'm talking years, and years ago, here) and they tended to be an indicator of a person having been in prison and/or somehow related to a criminal element or biker gang. Truly, way back, those were about the only people who had tattoos.

Today, they're much more mainstream, much more artistic, and can be a symbol or a statement without necessarily having any negative associations attached to them. It wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but I have to admit, I'd hesitate.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

The most wonderful, amazing, and beautiful woman I ever dated was physically deformed. It did not daunt me in the least. And I've yet to meet as gorgeous a woman as she is. She would have had tattoos except it might have upset her family.

 

[moose]

Despite what I may have said in this thread (I've been somewhat neutral, slightly against tattoos), I've realized that I actually like it when a girl has a tattoo.

However, I do dislike when the tattoos cover an entire arm... leave that to male drummers.

 

[DaveC426913]

It was for dramatico effect!

Why, how out-of-character for you.

 

[Moonbear]

Despite what I may have said in this thread (I've been somewhat neutral, slightly against tattoos), I've realized that I actually like it when a girl has a tattoo.

However, I do dislike when the tattoos cover an entire arm... leave that to male drummers.

And that's another good point. It's not just have or have not, but how big, how much, what the content is, etc. Someone might find a little rose or butterfly on the hip to be very attractive while an entire sleeve of skulls and crossbones, dripping blood, and fanged creatures could be downright frightening.

I think Georgina brings up a good point about generational differences too. Tattoos are much more common among young adults, and even teens, than when I was growing up. They used to be associated with "thugs" (gang members, prison inmates), bikers (right or wrong, it was viewed as associated with a rough, rabble-rousing subset), and ex-military (usually the insignia of their branch of the military). "Nice" people didn't get tattoos, and the only women with tattoos were the "biker chicks." Since just getting a tattoo was a high risk behavior in those days (nobody had cracked down on tattoo parlors regarding hygiene or proper sterilization of needles, etc.), the people displaying them were showing that they were the type who engaged in some form of high risk behavior.

As tattoos have become more mainstream, some of that association with high-risk behaviors is lessening, though I still think there is some level of risk-taking in getting a tattoo regardless of how much better tattoo parlors are regulated (just the willingness to endure the pain of it seems to indicate something about risk tolerance), so that's not entirely diminished. But, as this generation ages, it may be easier to explain the tattoos as the "young and stupid" stage of life that they've outgrown.