Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

Your opinion on this dating issue

  1. Aug 9, 2005 #1

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    As some of you may know, I had a little break up with my girlfriend like 5-6 weeks ago.

    We still talk and are working things out. The first 4 weeks were really rough. Things are just starting to get much better. Also, we see each other once a week.

    This past weekend I just met a girl, a nice one too, and I'm kind of interested.

    Would it be wrong to go on a date with this girl?

    She is aware of my current situation, and she didn't seem to mind much.

    So, is it wrong?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Aug 9, 2005 #2

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    No, it's not wrong as long as you are honest with the girl so she can decide how to proceed. It sounds like she is aware of your recent breakup, so I see no problem.
     
  4. Aug 9, 2005 #3

    Moonbear

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    I agree with Evo, as long as she knows the current situation (and you really are intending to break up or stay broken up with the other woman), then there isn't any problem. It would only be a problem if you're still trying to get back together with the first one, in which case this would seriously complicate it (but might still be a big hint that you really should move on).
     
  5. Aug 9, 2005 #4

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    I wish I knew this earlier.

    I was afraid to ask her for her e-mail or phone number. I thought it was wrong to do so.

    Yes, she does know about it, and how I think it's not going as good.

    Of course, I plan on choosing one, but I don't think I can make that decision without having a date with the other.
     
  6. Aug 9, 2005 #5

    brewnog

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    If you're keen to go out with another girl, then it's pretty clear that the previous relationship is over, as long as you're not just after a bit of skirt before you go back on your knees to try and get back with the first one (that doesn't work, by the way).

    Just be honest with them both, it'll be fine.

    Anyway, it's been 5-6 weeks, it's not like you're in an immediate rebound scenario...
     
  7. Aug 9, 2005 #6

    Moonbear

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    And it's just a date, not a committment. So, yeah, that's reasonable that you'd want to go on a date with the new one to find out if she's worth leaving the old one. That's what dating is all about, especially when you're still young and looking. Somehow things have changed that young people seem to think if they go out on one date with someone, they have to stay dating them long-term, but you really can just go out on lots of dates with lots of people and then decide if any are worth continuing to date, and if you continue to date them, then you decide if they are worth being in a "relationship" with, etc. It's all step-by-step, and the first step is to just go on A date.
     
  8. Aug 9, 2005 #7

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    Well, the likelyhood that I see this girl again is pretty slim. Since, we didn't exchange any contacts.

    It's just nice to hear that I'm not being an ass or something.
     
  9. Aug 9, 2005 #8

    brewnog

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    I suppose only you know that.

    If, deep down, you were doing it to try and shag around before going back to the ex just because you could, then the chances are that you were being an ass.

    On the other hand, if you were actually doing it because the relationship had clearly come to an end, and you were ready to move on, then there's nothing wrong with that, as long as both the girls knew what the deal was.
     
  10. Aug 9, 2005 #9
    I woulda boned her.
     
  11. Aug 9, 2005 #10

    Moonbear

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Where did you meet her? Do you know anybody in common who you could ask for her number or pass along your number through them so she could contact you if she's interested? Or did you meet in a place that she might visit again where there's a chance you could bump into her again? Or should we just tell you you're an ass so you don't feel bad about missing out on an opportunity you should have taken? :frown:
     
  12. Aug 9, 2005 #11

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    For everyone's information, I'm not in this for action.

    I'm not dating for action.

    I'm not trying to fix things with my ex-gf for action.

    I'm not trying to get with this girl for action.

    Any assumptions that regards sexual actions shouldn't be on here.

    Even if I end up going on a date with this girl (if I somehow talk to her again), I didn't even plan on giving a kiss or anything. People said a kiss is fine because sometimes by not doing it you can ruin the date depending on plenty of things. That is still in question for me.

    I'm just interested. I believe there is nothing wrong with that.
     
  13. Aug 9, 2005 #12
    Hey man, just my opinion. Wasn't saying anything 'bout you.
     
  14. Aug 9, 2005 #13

    brewnog

    User Avatar
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Nah, no assumptions Jason! Was just giving some ifs and thens. After all, you should be able to decide for yourself whether or not you're being nasty/unreasonable/whatever. But you knew what I meant, if you're doing it for the right reasons and with good intentions, then there's nowt wrong with that.
     
  15. Aug 9, 2005 #14

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    It's all good intentions.

    Well, I hope all goes well and get to speak to this girl. Not very often you find a good one... almost never.
     
  16. Aug 9, 2005 #15
    You have to decide if you are
    1) trying to fix things with your ex so you can get back together with her
    2) make it happen with the new girl

    if you meet the new girl, you are not being faithful to your intentions with your ex and therefore it will be prone to fail eventually

    if you maintain a close friendship with your ex while persuing your new interest you will not be giving the new girl a fair chance as you and your ex have history and it will always be easy to go back to her.

    either way, play on playa.
     
  17. Aug 9, 2005 #16

    Evo

    User Avatar

    Staff: Mentor

    Not necessarily, sometimes dating someone else is all that's needed to make you realize that the old relationship is what you want.

    I agree with Moonbear, when I grew up, "steady" dating (of just one person) was not encouraged, some parents wouldn't even allow it, only letting their kids date as long as it wasn't the same person exclusively, "going steady" was a BIG deal. It was more common to date a number of people, no one exclusively.

    Jason, I hope you can find the new girl and get to know her. It will help you to put your old relationship into perspective.
     
  18. Aug 9, 2005 #17
    1. You're better off with the new girl but take it slow.

    2. Don't repeat the same mistake you did with your ex.

    3. It ain't wrong, even if your ex-gf says so. Even if the Pope says so.

    4. Have fun
     
  19. Aug 9, 2005 #18

    Moonbear

    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    Though, if you do go on a date or two with her and decide you want to "go steady" (wow, that's a term I haven't heard in ages), then you'll have to get the previous girlfriend out of the picture. At that point, what outsider said does start to come into play that it'll be hard to give the new one your full attention if there's always the chance to go back to the old one. But that can certainly wait until you've gone on a few dates to find out if she's even worth it.

    But as Evo mentioned, I've also seen it work out the other way, that a guy goes back to his ex after dating some other women and realizing he had it pretty good with the first one.
     
  20. Aug 9, 2005 #19
    you make a good point... maybe i'm just old fashioned... i just don't believe in doing something new unless it is absolutely clear that i'm finished with the ex... i've never had the pleasure of going back to a finished relationship as there tends to be baggage that one wasn't willing to live with on either side...

    i've learned that some things about females just come with the package if a male decides to stay straight... and that is the learning process... if i knew this when i was a kid, i would still be with my first love.... hahaha :rofl:
     
  21. Aug 9, 2005 #20

    JasonRox

    User Avatar
    Homework Helper
    Gold Member

    I know what you mean by going steady.

    I read the book Seveenth Summer, written in the 40's.

    The girl went on a date with another guy while going steady with another. After that one date, she decided the guy she had now was much better.

    Now, that I look at it into this perspective, everything is so much more clear.

    Note: A friend of hers (that I know) gave me her e-mail. I e-mailed her, and let her know I was interested in talking and that I'm usually on MSN during so and so time.

    Lately, I've been using this website for relationship help. Definitely the best place to go online. All good opinions that come from experience. :)
     
Know someone interested in this topic? Share this thread via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook

Have something to add?



Similar Discussions: Your opinion on this dating issue
  1. In your opinion. (Replies: 7)

  2. What's your opinion? (Replies: 55)

Loading...