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Am I sexist?

  1. Jan 15, 2006 #1
    Is it considered sexist to call someone of the opposite sex "hun" or "babe" even if it is said with affection? For example, I asked Moonbear to do something for me and ended by saying "thanks, hun" Now everyone knows I really like Moonbear so hun was just a sign of my affection, but I don't date Moonbear and I don't know her enough to call her "hun" was that sexist of me? I won't even write what I call evo affectionately
     
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  3. Jan 15, 2006 #2

    Moonbear

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    I don't know about sexist, but it can be offensive. A guy who was supposed to do some painting for me lost the job after calling me "hun" and "sweetie" on the phone (of course he was also calling to make excuses for missing the appointment for the estimate and not returning my calls, but when he called me "sweetie", I made it very clear I was not doing business with someone who acted so unprofessionally, for all of the reasons...I've had contractors show up late or miss appointments before, and realize they sometimes get stuck on a job that takes longer than planned, and usually can reschedule, but this one lost the job altogether).
     
  4. Jan 15, 2006 #3
    I understand, he wasn't cute enough right?
     
  5. Jan 15, 2006 #4
    Women call me "hun" all the time. Women that I have gotten to know I sometimes call sweetie or sweetheart. For the most part they seem to appreciate being called those things. Any woman that I know or think would not be happy with being called either of those things I refrain from doing it. That's why I call Moonbear Moonie. She doesn't like generic terms of endearment like sweetie.
    One of my exs hated generic terms too so I used to call her Bu Bu Kitty ****. She liked that one. :smile:
     
  6. Jan 15, 2006 #5

    russ_watters

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    I'm pretty good at detecting a patronizing tone, so absent that, it has never bothered me when a woman who I was not close with used a term of endearment on me. Heck, south of the Mason-Dixon line, every woman calls you "honey", not just those that are twice your age like around here! :surprised

    edit: We've had the is-Moonbear-oversensitive conversation before and I think the general consensus was that Moonbear is exactly the right level of sensitivity. :uhh:

    Everyone has things they don't like to be called (no, I won't say what mine is) - if you call my friends Melissa and Amanda "Missy" and "Mandy", you had better duck...
     
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2006
  7. Jan 15, 2006 #6

    Moonbear

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    Hee...I've noticed that lately. I technically live South of the Mason-Dixon line now :eek: and have run into those women who call everyone "hon." It still grates on my ears when I hear it, but so does running into more folks raised or trained in the military tradition of calling every woman "maam," or pronouncing every letter in the word "vehicle." Vee-hi'-kl with the middle syllable accented instead of the first. It's just culture shock I guess. But, I realize here they aren't using it as a term of endearment, or to be patronizing, it's just something they say that comes as naturally as please and thank you. (The painter was being patronizing though...or at least unprofessional...the "sweetie" bit was just the straw that broke the camel's back with him, but I had plenty of other reasons to give the job to someone else.)

    :tongue: You just have to be more creative around me rather than using tired, old, generic terms of endearment. I like men with intelligence enough to remember my name. :biggrin: But, if someone takes the liberty of using a term of endearment when I don't consider them close enough to have the priviledge of using it, I also don't leave them guessing...they'll know right away that it is unappreciated.
     
  8. Jan 15, 2006 #7

    FredGarvin

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    Yeah...you're pretty much a pig. Get over it.
     
  9. Jan 15, 2006 #8
    wait, moonbear, how you say vehicle then?? i'm well above the line and i say ve-hi-cle...????


    at any rate, trib, you're probably sexist just because you have a penis... er wait, i guess me saying that make me sexist eh? well then, trib you're in good company.:tongue2:
     
  10. Jan 15, 2006 #9

    russ_watters

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    Don't worry, Gale - it isn't sexist when a woman says something sexist, just when a man does. :tongue:
     
  11. Jan 15, 2006 #10

    Moonbear

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    The h is silent when I say it, and the first syllable gets the accent. I've never noticed it pronounced differently anywhere else I've lived until now. I actually don't think it's a southern thing so much as a West Virginia thing...there's a definite accent I notice among the native West Virginians, but nothing that stands out as much to my northern ears as a southern accent does. Ever watch episodes of M.A.S.H.? You know how Rizzo would say veeHIckle (he's the motor pool guy)? They say it just like that. Maybe it's pronounced similarly in NH...I know accents vary quite a bit as you head up the northeast too.

    Yeah, and don't forget that! :biggrin: :rofl: (Sadly, it does seem that way too often.)
     
  12. Jan 15, 2006 #11
    Well your american you pretty much mangle our language anyway:wink:

    If can get over that, I'm sure a cultural or local endeerment won't bother me. Personally I like being called babe or dear or my lover, if someone is from Devon, vivre la difference IMO. What is offensive is if you use a term that is not usually used to a casual aquaintance. Here's a few terms From My country for women to get your head round:

    skirt,tail,bints,babes,chicks,honeys,girls,ladies,pussy,whores/hos,the opposite sex,the fairer sex,chicks,ladies,women,no tail,*****es, slags, sluts, minge, fanny, the list is endless.

    Men: blokes, dudes, guys,mushes, men, geezers.

    I think you can see the point I'm trying to makeo:)
     
  13. Jan 15, 2006 #12

    Moonbear

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    I'm sure I can think of plenty of things to call you that you wouldn't like. :wink: :biggrin: Somehow, "Rusty" pops to mind as something someone named Russ might have a problem with. :tongue:
     
  14. Jan 15, 2006 #13
    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    I'm sorry. I just HAD to laught at that. Good choice.
     
  15. Jan 15, 2006 #14

    DaveC426913

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    Trib, if you're going to insult Moonbear, go big or go home - try ma'am. :surprised
     
  16. Jan 15, 2006 #15

    DaveC426913

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    Guffaw! The irony is palpable!

    You slay me.
     
  17. Jan 15, 2006 #16

    Moonbear

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    :rofl: Ma'am isn't insulting, it just sounds funny to me. I feel old when I hear it, because only old ladies were called ma'am when I was growing up.
     
  18. Jan 15, 2006 #17
    wow, they even said it way back then?
     
  19. Jan 15, 2006 #18

    Pengwuino

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    No you are not sexy.
     
  20. Jan 15, 2006 #19

    Moonbear

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    :grumpy: :mad: :grumpy: :tongue:
     
  21. Jan 15, 2006 #20
    well i think that depends... like if i was a butch lesbian, it'd be sexist.
     
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