Avoiding French Takeover: Explaining Low Down Time Without Logic

[wolram]

Our company has been took over by a French corporation, one of the reasons for the take over was the record of minimal machine down time, and they want me to explain
why this down time is so low, how can i tell them that i am the biggest bodger on the planet, and work by intuition rather than logic?
I do not even want to go to France, i have been there done that before, all over the continent and beyond, any way i would have to buy a new wardrobe, i doubt my monogramed over alls would fit in a French cafe.
How can i get out of this situation?

 

[rcgldr]

How can i get out of this situation?

Have them check your testoseron level, and they will immediately accuse you of doping since you're levels will be well beyond any French male.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Our company has been took over by a French corporation, one of the reasons for the take over was the record of minimal machine down time, and they want me to explain
why this down time is so low, how can i tell them that i am the biggest bodger on the planet, and work by intuition rather than logic?
I do not even want to go to France, i have been there done that before, all over the continent and beyond, any way i would have to buy a new wardrobe, i doubt my monogramed over alls would fit in a French cafe.
How can i get out of this situation?

Saying that you go on intuition only says that you know the equipment extremely well.

Ask them when they plan to elect a real leader, like Bush.

 

[Moonbear]

Perhaps you could get out of the traveling part by suggesting it would be best to show them on the existing equipment than to try to explain it in some office somewhere, so the French execs should come to you rather than you go to them.

(Ivan's suggestion might get you out of it too, but I'm not sure what other trouble it might get you into. )

Then again, who knows, if you wear your monogrammed coveralls into a French cafe and look real confident and even show off the look as a fashion statement, maybe next year's fashion fad will be monogrammed coveralls.

 

[Jimmy Snyder]

Ask them when they plan to elect a real leader, like Bush.

I have to go with Ivan on this one. Do whatever it takes not to go over there. It's all Starbucks, McDonald's and Jerry Lewis, a real cultural desert.

 

[mgb_phys]

If you are only visiting as a consultant it is a very nice place to work - assuming you are outside Paris. 2 hour lunches to discuss problems are much more pleasant and a lot more productive than powerpoint presentations.
They do take food and lunch seriously - expect to see the forklift driver in overalls arguing with the chef about the wine list!

Actually trying to run a business or live there is impossible.

 

[AlephZero]

Remember the old joke about the repair guy who got fired in a company takeover, then was hired as a consultant to fix some problem that nobody else could solve. When he submitted an invoice for $100,000, the company refused to pay and asked him to justify the huge cost. His reply was:

For fixing problem, by hitting machine with large hammer: $1.00
For knowing where to hit it: $99,999.00

 

[Kurdt]

You better learn this on your way out there.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=N2zSfNpUxT8

I'd say just go with it. France is a very relaxing place, and nobody will care what you wear in their cafe. Ahh I love french cafes.

 

[Andre]

Agree, go for it, Wolram. You can do it. Consider this; you can help them and they will be grateful. That's how the world should work.

Besides France is a great country. Incredible geology, 30,000 years old archeology, cave paintings.

Alors, on y va!

 

[wolram]

I have to go with Ivan on this one. Do whatever it takes not to go over there. It's all Starbucks, McDonald's and Jerry Lewis, a real cultural desert.

It was the same every time went abroad working, every one thinks it is so good, but
when you work on a factory estate at some back and beyond place and live from a hotel room it sure is a trial.

 

[Astronuc]

Perhaps you could get out of the traveling part by suggesting it would be best to show them on the existing equipment than to try to explain it in some office somewhere, so the French execs should come to you rather than you go to them.

Best idea. They ought to come and see what they bought.

Then again, who knows, if you wear your monogrammed coveralls into a French cafe and look real confident and even show off the look as a fashion statement, maybe next year's fashion fad will be monogrammed coveralls.

Add a beret and you've got it made.

 

[wolram]

Saying that you go on intuition only says that you know the equipment extremely well.

Ask them when they plan to elect a real leader, like Bush.

Tact is not my strong point, it is amazing i have still have this job after telling some senior people what i think, i can just imagine them rubbing their hand hands together
at the thought of me putting my foot in it with the French.

 

[Math Is Hard]

...how can i tell them that i am the biggest bodger on the planet..?

"Je suis le plus grand bodger au monde"?

 

[wolram]

"Je suis le plus grand bodger au monde"?

Oh, row locks, i took carpentry instead of French.

 

[Huckleberry]

"Je suis le plus grand bodger au monde"?

Oh, row locks, i took carpentry instead of French.

Haha, MIH is answering your question. That's how you tell them you are the biggest bodger on the planet. Not that I believe it, but that is how you would say it.

Tell them trees that fall in the forest can only make a sound when nobody is listening and if they try to take the cat out of this box then they will have to clean up the mess.

 

[Math Is Hard]

Haha, MIH is answering your question. That's how you tell them you are the biggest bodger on the planet. Not that I believe it, but that is how you would say it.

Except for the "bodger" part. Probably translates into some filthy verb, but I was too lazy to investigate.

 

[Huckleberry]

You could always stretch a rubber band and aim it at their face. Then in a stern voice say, "Surrender." That works every time.

 

[Astronuc]

Don't forget to add le, la or l' in front of every noun.

 

[wolram]

Except for the "bodger" part. Probably translates into some filthy verb, but I was too lazy to investigate.

Cheers buddy, you trying to get me in the tom tit. LOL

 

[wolram]

You could always stretch a rubber band and aim it at their face. Then in a stern voice say, "Surrender." That works every time.

I think i will do an EVO when the time comes.