Can I tell a girl it won't work without hurting her feelings?

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The discussion revolves around the complexities of ending a brief romantic involvement with someone who is not a good match. Participants emphasize the importance of honesty when communicating the decision to the other person, suggesting that being upfront about seeing someone else or simply not feeling a connection is the best approach. Various humorous and sarcastic suggestions are made, including using clichés like "it's not you, it's me," but the consensus is that clarity and directness are crucial to avoid misunderstandings. The idea that stringing someone along can lead to more hurt is highlighted, with advice leaning towards a straightforward explanation that respects the other person's feelings. Overall, the emphasis is on sincerity and the recognition that dating is about finding the right match, not settling prematurely.
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...that it won't work.

I think I might be in deeper than I thought.

I still want this other girl, and I most likely will have. Unfortunately, something happened on New Year's and um... I went on a date with this girls, but she's totally not my type.

What to do?
 
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Honestly but with tact..or you could just say "I've been hurt in the past". That's the same excuse they give
 
She'll find out I'm seeing someone shortly after. I have to do it in a nice way.
 
If you wanted to do it in a nice way you should have thought of that first.
 
just tell her the truth. that you're seeing someone else etc...

better she hears it from you than someone else.
 
Tell her you're an @$$#0!&, and she deserves much better. Then tell her that you are going to prove this by going out with another, "hotter" girl. That ought to do it.
 
"The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty."
 
haha, that would work.
 
JasonRox said:
...that it won't work.
What to do?

You'd tell'er that,gradually u've discovered the passion for boys and,u've been seing this guy who's so charming and makes you laugh (it's not tribdog,though) and with each day,girls mean less to you,they are jus some helpless beings and you men are one step higher on the evolution scale...And stuff like that.

Daniel.
 
  • #10
Speaking as a female and realizing you can't go back in time-
Tell the truth. If you don't and she genuinely likes you she's just going to keep chasing you and think very unsavory things about you when she finds out you're going with someone else. She should hear that from you, not from her friends looking for gossip. Also apologize for going out with her in the first place and admit that it was something you shouldn't've done. Since it was only one date she'll get over it.
 
  • #11
dextercioby said:
You'd tell'er that,gradually u've discovered the passion for boys and,u've been seing this guy who's so charming and makes you laugh (it's not tribdog,though) and with each day,girls mean less to you,they are jus some helpless beings and you men are one step higher on the evolution scale...And stuff like that.

Daniel.
Yep, that'll work. :smile: :smile:

I think Gokul's idea is pretty good too.
Gokul43201 said:
Tell her you're an @$$#0!&, and she deserves much better. Then tell her that you are going to prove this by going out with another, "hotter" girl. That ought to do it.

Being honest may not feel comfortable, but it is the best way, and it won't come back to haunt you.
 
  • #12
There is always option of putting on her head paper bag during action in bed, this always worked for me.
 
  • #13
tumor said:
There is always option of putting on her head paper bag during action in bed, this always worked for me.

Or just turn off the lights,close your eyes and yell:"Bulls'eye" !,or the Japanese version:"Bonzaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"

Daniel.
 
  • #14
OR.. in a true nerd fashion you hop in the time machine, turn the time circuit on and go back to christmas time and save yourself.. SAVE YOURSELF I TELL YA
 
  • #15
I'm not seeing someone now, but intend to.

Why can't it be more like last year; where I never seen/talked to her again. :)
 
  • #16
Don't worry I've composed a text message that will suit you purposes:

I hve fnd some1 nicer than u. cya!
 
  • #17
Ma new gf is more 1337 dan youz
 
  • #18
  • #19
So cold. So cold.

Just hop on the bus, Gus
Don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free.

I know there must be other ways. I'll bet there's more than fifty ways to leave your lover. :smile:
 
  • #20
Or as my government teacher puts it... "When you are in the middle of breaking up with her, laugh at her."

And my addendnum to it.. "When doing so, be prepared to RUN because she will be after you with a knife!"
 
  • #21
motai said:
And my addendnum to it.. "When doing so, be prepared to RUN because she will be after you with a knife!"

One of the guys in my martial arts class has somehow (he can't remember) made this girl there mad. They used to date. Now she always threatens to castrate him.
 
  • #22
Say it's not you, it's me.
 
  • #23
pikapika! said:
Say it's not you, it's me.

I love using that line.

D*** conceited little @*&^#@*&%^$@% think its clever. That'll teach em.
 
  • #24
pikapika! said:
Say it's not you, it's me.

I'm not sure how much she'll believe that.
 
  • #25
I say go with Andromeda's suggestion. I think she nailed it. And, apparently, avoid motai's suggestion if you don't wish to be castrated. LOL!
 
  • #26
Yeah, i would say listen to moonbear and andromeda rather than us jaded cynical people. You'll probably live longer. BUt then again given your in this situation you're probably just us bad as the rest of us, so you won't listen to them. Oh well.
 
  • #27
You could use the old tried and true:

"I think we shouldn't spend so much time together. In fact, the farther away you are the better. I like long distance relationships."

(Okay, I stole that one)
 
  • #28
Welcome to dumpsville, population you.
 
  • #29
tell her you ask for relationship advice on a physics message board
 
  • #30
FulhamFan3 said:
tell her you ask for relationship advice on a physics message board
That'll do it. :smile: :smile:
 
  • #31
BobG said:
You could use the old tried and true:

"I think we shouldn't spend so much time together. In fact, the farther away you are the better. I like long distance relationships."

(Okay, I stole that one)

:smile: Good one BobG
 
  • #32
Be a man and just tell her the truth.
 
  • #33
KingNothing said:
Be a man and just tell her the truth.

Or you can become a woman and you'll be off the hook for any further explanation. :smile:
 
  • #34
KingNothing said:
Be a man and just tell her the truth.

Best advice I've heard.
 
  • #35
One way in which you can do that is to meet her personally and be as serious as possible.

Try to explain to her that there are much better guys suitable for her and that you think that you are not one of them, or that you think that you might not be capable of taking care of her correctly, because you have other aspirations, for e.g., your studies. Try to explain to her that studies and love cannot "co-exist" for someone who is totally absorbed in his studies. That would be a perfect reason. At least, you will be reasonable and genuine in your explanation.

Well, that was just a suggestion because to me, I think someone is better off in his studies without having a lover! Try it guys!
 
  • #36
Zaimeen said:
One way in which you can do that is to meet her personally and be as serious as possible.

Try to explain to her that there are much better guys suitable for her and that you think that you are not one of them, or that you think that you might not be capable of taking care of her correctly, because you have other aspirations, for e.g., your studies. Try to explain to her that studies and love cannot "co-exist" for someone who is totally absorbed in his studies. That would be a perfect reason. At least, you will be reasonable and genuine in your explanation.

Well, that was just a suggestion because to me, I think someone is better off in his studies without having a lover! Try it guys!

Nice thought, but it won't work. That will just leave her trying to explain it's okay, she doesn't mind if he needs to spend time studying, she can help take care of him so he can focus on his studies more, etc. Anything other than the point-blank, "Sorry it was a mistake, there's someone else I'm seeing" explanation leaves things open to misunderstanding and just enough uncertainty for her to think there may still be something to salvage. Don't string her along. If it was only one date, as Andromeda pointed out, she'll get over it as long as you make it clear that nothing more is going to come of it.

Of course, there is the slightly softer approach where you don't have to admit to being more interested in someone else, which is pretty harsh to hear. Just keep it simple: "I'm sorry, but I've come to realize we just don't click (you can substitute a number of things for 'don't click': 'aren't right for each other,' 'aren't going to work out as a couple,' 'didn't have the right chemistry'). I don't want to hurt you by pretending there's something that isn't there and stringing you along." This is actually a bit better than telling her you never should have gone out with her in the first place, which she could take as a huge insult, or might leave her feeling used. There's no rule that you can't date more than one person at a time when trying to find one to build a relationship with. That's the point of dating, to find the right one, not to instantly settle down with the first one you come across, so it shouldn't be an issue if you appear to have quickly begun dating someone else.
 
  • #37
Moonbear said:
Nice thought, but it won't work. That will just leave her trying to explain it's okay, she doesn't mind if he needs to spend time studying, she can help take care of him so he can focus on his studies more, etc. Anything other than the point-blank, "Sorry it was a mistake, there's someone else I'm seeing" explanation leaves things open to misunderstanding and just enough uncertainty for her to think there may still be something to salvage. Don't string her along. If it was only one date, as Andromeda pointed out, she'll get over it as long as you make it clear that nothing more is going to come of it.

Of course, there is the slightly softer approach where you don't have to admit to being more interested in someone else, which is pretty harsh to hear. Just keep it simple: "I'm sorry, but I've come to realize we just don't click (you can substitute a number of things for 'don't click': 'aren't right for each other,' 'aren't going to work out as a couple,' 'didn't have the right chemistry'). I don't want to hurt you by pretending there's something that isn't there and stringing you along." This is actually a bit better than telling her you never should have gone out with her in the first place, which she could take as a huge insult, or might leave her feeling used. There's no rule that you can't date more than one person at a time when trying to find one to build a relationship with. That's the point of dating, to find the right one, not to instantly settle down with the first one you come across, so it shouldn't be an issue if you appear to have quickly begun dating someone else.
I agree with Moonbear on everything.
 
  • #38
Ditto.
Really though, it always amazes me when my guy friends mention repeatedly that the most annoying thing about girls is when they're not honest about a relationship. Then they have an urge to do the same thing themselves despite complaining one second ago about that very thing...
 
  • #39
Evo said:
I agree with Moonbear on everything.

Evo ? why don't you marry her ? :smile:
 
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  • #40
Moonbear said:
Or you can become a woman and you'll be off the hook for any further explanation. :smile:


You are only encouraging our jadedness, and that's not nice.
 
  • #41
Studies + Work + Ski + Girl = No Relaxing

Studies + Work + Ski - Girl I Want = What I Want

I want a girl that feel like I'm taking a load off my back.

Note: My studies aren't bad. Right now I just have Mathematics Integrated with Computers (testing number theory stuff), Calculus II, Astrophysics, Physics - Waves and Modern Physics

I decided not to add a fifth class.

A girl who only wants to go out once or twice a week. A girl who doesn't know where my wallet is.

Note: I didn't do it yet. I haven't talked to her all weekend either! She'd mad, so she will finish it for me. I called her on the weekend a few times, but no answer.
 
  • #42
Forget all these underhanded tricks.

Sincerity. That's the most important thing.



Once you can fake sincerity, you can fake anything.
 
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