Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 247802

But there is more scrap in space than spaceships in scrapyards.

 

[mfb]

We should make an exchange program. Spaceships to space, scrap in space to scrapyards.

 

[Auto-Didact]

Gates et al. 1985, The Super G-String

They are back with more:

Gates et al. 1987, SUPER G-STRING FIELD THEORY

Surely this one is a contender for the Breakthrough Prize.

 

[Eclair_de_XII]

I don't know if this one has been made in this topic, yet, so sorry if I'm being repetitive.

Q: "What's the difference between math and magic?"
A: "A good mathematician always reveals their secrets."

I'm not sure how true the punchline is, though.

 

[mfb]

"it is trivial that..."
"this directly follows from..."

 

[Klystron]

"it is trivial that..."
"this directly follows from..."

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

 

[DrGreg]

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

I will leave the reply to this as an exercise for the reader.

 

[Steelwolf]

"Obviously..."

"From here the discourse diverges in two directions..."

"And a One, and a Two and a..."

Oh No, NOT the Art Linkletter Show, I will not Live though an hour of Art Linkletter and his dancing Troupe. Talk about a series of wide divergences! (Brought to you today by Doan's little pills)

Lordy, that was like a Jump to the Left...

 

[Steelwolf]

A kindergarten teacher brings in some Honey flavored Life Savers to class one morning, and asks if the class knows what flavor it is. At first the little kids are looking puzzled, they are not sure, so the teacher tells them that it is Something that your mother might call your Father. One little girl gets a shocked look on her face spits out the candy and tells her friends get rid of them quick, they are candied arseholes!

 

[fresh_42]

Guess this needs no translation, except the one word I won't translate.

 

[Klystron]

Oh No, NOT the Art Linkletter Show, I will not Live though an hour of Art Linkletter and his dancing Troupe. Talk about a series of wide divergences! (Brought to you today by Doan's little pills)

Lordy, that was like a Jump to the Left...

Also Lawrence Welk? Art Linkletter was a bit before my time but I was a staunch fan of Jack LaLane. I performed some of his exercises after swimming this morning. And-a one, and-a two, and-a breath, breath.

 

[davenn]

, NOT the Art Linkletter Show

OMG there's a name or a show I haven't heard for more years than I care to remember

Art Linkletter was always good for a laugh

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[jack action]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

I don't mind the HaHa reactions, I just wish I didn't get so many of them made to my Math answers.

 

[jack action]

 

[Ibix]

Looks more like Reliant to me. What is it actually?

 

[Vanadium 50]

What is it actually?

It's a toilet flapper valve. The rubber softens over time until it needs replacement.

 

[Ibix]

It's a toilet flapper valve. The rubber softens over time until it needs replacement.

Ah! The only toilet cisterns I've taken apart were push-button designs that have a rather different flush mechanism.

I'm still trying to chase down the SF spaceship it's actually reminding me of. It's not the NX-01 Enterprise, nor really the Reliant.

 

[fresh_42]

Ah! The only toilet cisterns I've taken apart were push-button designs that have a rather different flush mechanism.

I'm still trying to chase down the SF spaceship it's actually reminding me of. It's not the NX-01 Enterprise, nor really the Reliant.

The warp nacelles are a bit disturbing for a Star Trek ship.

 

[BillTre]

The warp nacelles are a bit disturbing for a Star Trek ship.

You could say they are sh!tty!

 

[davenn]

The Doctor who performed the worlds largest organ transplant has just been awarded the Wurlitzer Prize

 

[davenn]

I recently started a band called 999 Megabytes... We're pretty good but we haven't got a gig yet

 

[OCR]

It's not the NX-01 Enterprise, nor really the Reliant.

USS Defiant. . . maybe ?

Lol. . . anyway, here's the list. .

Star Trek spacecraft

.

 

[OCR]

The warp nacelles are a bit disturbing for a Star Trek ship.

Those are the new and redesigned nacelles, they incorporate the heavily strengthened

toeing towing attachments, for the Klingons tractor beam. . . the older design had a

tendency to fail on occasion, since Klingons use very little finesse. . When a Klingon hooked on to you, it was always. . . " Go Steady by Jerks". .

They pulled a few of the older model nacelles completely off, both of them.Starfleet became very unhappy when that kind of crap happened. . . .

.

 

[Ophiolite]

View attachment 247967​

I suppose it uses some form of Warp Control.

 

[Steelwolf]

The USS Phleuger/Flapperstein. The training vessel at Starfleet Command Headquarters. Right next to the seat of The Old Man.

 

[Klystron]

The Internet buzzes today with a content creators' concept comparing Millennials with a prior generation. She prefers a vaguely French username. Listen around the water cooler for

Mimi's Me-Me meme

 

[OCR]

The USS Phleuger. The training vessel at Starfleet Command Headquarters.

That's amazing, I thought I was the only non Starfleet person that knew about the USS

Phleuger. . . I'll be damned. . Here she be. . . and she's a good ship. .

.

 

[OCR]

I suppose it uses some form of Warp Control.

Well, the USS Phleuger actually uses a form of WRap Control. . . .

.

 

[Steelwolf]

Well, I was born in Oregon, did my Navy time, came home and ended up having my neck rebuilt, front entry, so that makes me an Oregon Sea-run Cutthroat!
Born in Florence Oregon on one of the best Salmon rivers ever, that being the Siuslaw River.

Between Pfleuger, Willie Rod-Shaker and Eagle Claw we were all good.

Added: Now on the WRap Control, the anti-backlash feature, that is something that Capt Kirk could have well used a few times with the Klingons and Romulans in particular. He would have done well to prevent backlash.

 

[Steelwolf]

For a time I was the holder of the Star Fleet Training Manual and addendum. While I remember the original show, I am still upset that I was so young as to have to decipher it through a wall and down the hall from the living room, but that was OK, the folk's hearing was bad enough that they had it plenty loud enough for me to hear, and have memorized, every word and had it ready there for when I DID get to see it late. Strange to feel so old at such a young 56. I guess having the neck broken early in life did that.

 

[OCR]

I guess having the neck broken early in life did that.

It didn't do me much good either. . . it nags at me constantly. .

I finally got one of these which, surprisingly, was fairly efficacious.

The evidence to support use in the cervical spine is not very good.

Epidural steroid injection
.

 

[Steelwolf]

Yeah, is a real PITN. I have had the epidurals before, but mine was a childhood accident and so my whole idea of pain is skewed compared to that of most folks, which can cause problems by itself. Had C5-6-7 fused with the titanium Atlantis Plate (Hah, I knew there was tectonic proof for Atlantis!) but the fusions all failed at the bone inserts used, multiple times.

So while I cannot do the Physical things, so much, any more, I do work to keep myself properly educated and up to date on the science end of things. Cannot keep the body busy so I have to work on the mind. This/these forums helps.

 

[gmax137]

Born in Florence Oregon on one of the best Salmon rivers ever, that being the Siuslaw River.

I was just in Florence OR a few weeks ago, visiting an old friend. my first time there, very nice!

 

[zuz]

Gandi was a small, thin man who spoke to God. Because he walked around barefoot a lot he had huge calluses on his feet. He also ate poorly so he suffered from bad breath. So basically you could say he was a supercallusedfragilmystichexedwithhalitosis.

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 248130

Worse if he hangs out with a shop teacher missing part of a finger (?).

 

[fresh_42]

A: Can you check my braking lights?
B: Front or rear?

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 248129

I would actually do that. No need to dirty the wheels in the parking lot...

 

[Borg]

Summer sale at the German food store: The best of the Wurst.

So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?

 

[Ophiolite]

Gandi was a small, thin man who spoke to God. Because he walked around barefoot a lot he had huge calluses on his feet. He also ate poorly so he suffered from bad breath. So basically you could say he was a supercallusedfragilmystichexedwithhalitosis.

Between the way you spell Gandi and the rest of the world spells Ghandi, there's one H of a difference.

 

[Ibix]

Knock knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
No, it's "to whom".

- courtesy of a random QI clip on YouTube.

 

[mfb]

So, brats made from chicken would be the Wurst of the Breast?

Brustwurst? It's not a thing, however.

 

[Wrichik Basu]