Collection of Lame Jokes

[nikkkom]

The only thing I can see that looks vaguely frog-like is about two thirds of the way across amd a third down. A small orange triangular region just above the right hand end of the large grey-brown leaf oriented top-left/bottom-right.

Hmmm... can you attach an edited photo where you circle it? (BTW, yes, there is a frog in the photo, I'm not messing with you guys).

 

[davenn]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Dedicated for those who are afraid to watch it until the end ...


P.S. It's not what you may think! Give it a try. It's funny ...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

I asked my son to hand me the newspaper. He said I should get used to modern times and handed me the iPad. So what, the fly is dead now.

Is the iPad still "alive"?

 

[Ibix]

Hmmm... can you attach an edited photo where you circle it?

Spoiler

(BTW, yes, there is a frog in the photo,

I believe you.

I'm not messing with you guys).

I dispute this.

 

[nikkkom]

Spoiler

View attachment 203910

Er... not exactly... Here it is:

Spoiler

 

[davenn]

Grammar is important

I don't think I have ever met a disabled elderly pregnant child before ?

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Grammar is important

Syntax actually. Commas would have saved it!

I don't think I have ever met a disabled elderly pregnant child before ?

... and doing shopping

 

[davenn]

Haha

 

[OmCheeto]

A mechanic was working late one night when a man walked into his shop. "Can you help me?" the man asked. "I think I am a moth."

The mechanic replied, "I am a mechanic. You need a psychiatrist."

"Yes, I know," replied the man.

"Then why did you come here?"

"Your light was on."​

Courtesy of Car Talk

 

[DrGreg]

Better: What do you call a snake that coils into a circle exactly 1m in diameter?.

A snake coiled into a spiral inside pastry would be a piethon. (Add kidneys to get snake and kidney pie.)

 

[DaveC426913]

Feed it a toddler and you'd have Snake and Kiddie Pie.

 

[fresh_42]

Doc: Are you doing any extreme sports?
Me: From time to time I answer back my wife.

 

[Ibix]

Er... not exactly... Here it is:

It's facing to the right? I can just about see legs on the left hand side. I think.

 

[fresh_42]

Er... not exactly... Here it is:

Spoiler

View attachment 203916

It's facing to the right? I can just about see legs on the left hand side. I think.

Italian agile frog?

 

[davenn]

Doc: Are you doing any extreme sports?
Me: From time to time I answer back my wife.

I knew I had a good response for that ...

 

[nikkkom]

It's facing to the right? I can just about see legs on the left hand side. I think.

Yes. Here it is, cut out from the photo.

Spoiler

 

[Ibix]

Yes. Here it is, cut out from the photo.

I would maje a lousy predator.

 

[fresh_42]

I would maje a lousy predator.

Don't mind, the guys we're after cannot be slipped that easy

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

On a side note, how does anything ever eat a chameleon? The photographer did all of the work for me here. The only thing they could have done to make the animal more obvious would be to trace the outline with a magic marker. And I still have trouble picking it out of the background...

Color blind predators?

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

Ha. Try to find a frog in this pic.

View attachment 203849

I see nine ninjas...

 

[Stavros Kiri]

Yes. Here it is, cut out from the photo.

Spoiler

View attachment 204088

It seems dried off and dead though ... like the whole scene in the photo. But it's still a frog!

Don't mind, the guys we're after cannot be slipped that easy

Sure can't miss those!

I see nine ninjas.

Where? Can you circle them?

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

It seems dried off and dead though ... like the whole scene in the photo. But it's still a frog!

Sure can't miss those!

Where? Can you circle them?

Ninjas don't circle.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

It is now proven that J.K. Rowling is a witch.

She turned Eddie Redmayne into a Newt.

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

I went to buy toilet paper today. Charmin has "mega rolls", where 18 mega rolls equals 72 regular rolls. I wanted to buy two packages of that, but decided that would be gross.

 

[davenn]

good for a giggle

 

[Noisy Rhysling]

good for a giggle

View attachment 204215

Giggle, yes. Fact, no. http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

Cheers.

 

[Ibix]

That's one of the less plausible tellings of that one I've heard, it must be said. Funny though.

This one's in a similar vein: https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/science-jokes-p2.847743/#post-5346238
The editorial comment at the bottom is on the money for me.

 

[davenn]

Giggle, yes. Fact, no. http://www.snopes.com/horrors/techno/radar.asp

Cheers.

well I never stated it as a fact, after all it is a jokes forum section and next to nothing posted in this section bears any
resemblance to reality
that said there are some things I didn't like in that link you posted, they too have glossed over some realities

 

[davenn]

That's one of the less plausible tellings of that one I've heard, it must be said. Funny though.

This one's in a similar vein: https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/science-jokes-p2.847743/#post-5346238
The editorial comment at the bottom is on the money for me.

yeah that one is an oldie and a goodie ... the original version of that I read was based in the English Channel, between Britain and France

tis wonderful to watch how these stories morph over the years