Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #5,131
fresh_42 said:
Oracle as ERP or DB?
EDIT My offer was for Oracle as BURP and FART , aka SQL Server.
 
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  • #5,132
fresh_42 said:
Oracle as ERP or DB?

DB software (I had to look up ERP.). Oracle paid better than Informatics (later Sterling Software) but the programmer's "shack" at the Unitary wind tunnel included a mock-up of the original Enterprise bridge including life-size posters of the principle characters. Klingon tolerated here!
 
  • #5,133
Klystron said:
DB software (I had to look up ERP.). Oracle paid better than Informatics (later Sterling Software) but the programmer's "shack" at the Unitary wind tunnel included a mock-up of the original Enterprise bridge including life-size posters of the principle characters. Klingon tolerated here!
In my experience, DB jobs are the ultimate catch -22 of not offering any entry level ( i my case) for fear of losing their data and then not giving you any positions from lack of experience. But I guess you are ahead of me. How did you avoid the catch -22?
 
  • #5,134
WWGD said:
In my experience, DB jobs are the ultimate catch -22 of not offering any entry level ( i my case) for fear of losing their data and then not giving you any positions from lack of experience. But I guess you are ahead of me. How did you avoid the catch -22?

Serious subject. Oracle was there but I stayed at Ames as a software engineer for the advanced concepts flight simulator. Mainly finished projects other programmers eschewed. Executive-level systems control, error detection and mitigation, real-time data collection. Fun!

SW engineers wrote and shared our own DB code to meet specific NASA requirements.
 
  • #5,135
Klystron said:
Serious subject. Oracle was there but I stayed at Ames as a software engineer for the advanced concepts flight simulator. Mainly finished projects other programmers eschewed. Executive-level systems control, error detection and mitigation, real-time data collection. Fun!

SW engineers wrote and shared our own DB code to meet specific NASA requirements.
Cool stuff. I ended up doing much more pedestrian stuff. Some Stats too. It was fun in the end, but I would have loved to have gone more deeply into DB. EDIT: Maybe I am getting too serious for this thread?
 
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  • #5,136
An organist contemplating the future decides to explore physical chemistry to realize their dream of free universal sinus glue...

"Musing musician musters munificent mucus mucilage."

[editorial note: Verbs difficult in these concatenations. First choice was "munge" meaning "mangle" but no 'sss' sound. Rule: First syllable match 'mu' plus sibilant as in 'muse'. 'muster' appears correct but alters the initial vowel sound. 'mucus' shifts sibilant to second syllable, 'munificent' to fourth.]
 
  • #5,137
Klystron said:
An organist contemplating the future decides to explore physical chemistry to realize their dream of free universal sinus glue...

"Musing musician musters munificent mucus mucilage."

[editorial note: Verbs difficult in these concatenations. First choice was "munge" meaning "mangle" but no 'sss' sound. Rule: First syllable match 'mu' plus sibilant as in 'muse'. 'muster' appears correct but alters the initial vowel sound. 'mucus' shifts sibilant to second syllable, 'munificent' to fourth.]
Good, you're in the right track!
 
  • #5,138
(Made up) Vatican logicians working overtime after Pope states: " I was wrong before, I actually _am_ infallible".
 
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  • #5,139
WWGD said:
(Made up) Vatican logicians working overtime after Pope states: " I was wrong before, I actually _am_ infallible".

Catholic corollary to the lying Cretan!
 
  • #5,140
WWGD said:
(Made up) Vatican logicians working overtime after Pope states: " I was wrong before, I actually _am_ infallible".
Solution: He made a mistake earlier saying that he wasn't infallible, which proves that he is not. But if he isn't infallible then how did he make that mistake? Well, may be he just thinks he did! ... :smile:
(Epistemologically it is possible. May he has a justified belief that he did ... [etc.])
 
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  • #5,141
WWGD said:
(Made up) Vatican logicians working overtime after Pope states: " I was wrong before, I actually _am_ infallible".
By papal bull, perhaps?
 
  • #5,142
Ibix said:
By papal bull, perhaps?
No, definitely a no.

charts.gif


Paypal doesn't look bullish.
 

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  • #5,143
WWGD said:
Vatican logicians working overtime
They will be paid in Vatican currency?

(Actually, I don't know if this one exists in the world anywhere else or: in what form does it exists, but in my country the term 'paid in Vatican currency' means something like 'may God reward you'.)
 
  • #5,144
fresh_42 said:
No, definitely a no.

View attachment 236028

Paypal doesn't look bullish.
Maybe papa(l) bear, aka bill O'Reilly. A conspiracy. I knew it!
 
  • #5,145
Rive said:
They will be paid in Vatican currency?

(Actually, I don't know if this one exists in the world anywhere else or: in what form does it exists, but in my country the term 'paid in Vatican currency' means something like 'may God reward you'.)
Vous etes Rive Gauche ou Rive Droit? Mais pas de politicques ici, nous somme tous de centre ;).Hope my high school French is not too stale.
 
  • #5,146
Rive said:
They will be paid in Vatican currency?

(Actually, I don't know if this one exists in the world anywhere else or: in what form does it exists, but in my country the term 'paid in Vatican currency' means something like 'may God reward you'.)
Actually, they have Euro.
 
  • #5,147
WWGD said:
Vous etes Rive Gauche ou Rive Droit? Mais pas de politicques ici, nous somme tous de centre ;).
Sorry, my nick was originally a random generated string, to be used in a D&D game. Then it stuck, and it took a decade when I found out that it actually has some meaning... :biggrin:
So I have no idea, what did you wanted to say:sorry:
De mondd magyarul, és akkor érteni fogom.:wink:
 
  • #5,148
fresh_42 said:
Actually, they have Euro.
Are they even a republic?I heard you can exit and enter the country from anywhere in less than 5 minutes.One sixthofa square mile.
 
  • #5,149
Rive said:
Sorry, my nick was originally a random generated string, to be used in a D&D game. Then it stuck, and it took a decade when I found out that it actually has some meaning... :biggrin:
So I have no idea, what did you wanted to say:sorry:
De mondd magyarul, és akkor érteni fogom.:wink:
Ah, sorry, is that Hungarian?
 
  • #5,150
WWGD said:
Maybe papa(l) bear, aka bill O'Reilly. A conspiracy. I knew it!
"I woas nix, i hör nix, i sich nix!"

One of the rare moments the translation is actually better than the original: "Schultz: I see NOTHING! I know NOTHING!"
 
  • #5,151
fresh_42 said:
"I woas nix, i hör nix, i sich nix!"

One of the rare moments the translation is actually better than the original: "Schultz: I see NOTHING! I know NOTHING!"
I know it as "See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil".
 
  • #5,152
Rive said:
Sorry, my nick was originally a random generated string, to be used in a D&D game. Then it stuck, and it took a decade when I found out that it actually has some meaning... :biggrin:
So I have no idea, what did you wanted to say:sorry:
De mondd magyarul, és akkor érteni fogom.:wink:
So I won't be able to show off the 10 words I remember from high school French :).
 
  • #5,153
WWGD said:
Vous etes Rive Gauche ou Rive Droit? Mais pas de politicques ici, nous somme tous de centre ;).Hope my high school French is not too stale.
Your French is better than ... The answer for me is "hibbdebach". Bet you cannot find out what that means! It is neither nasty, political incorrect, a curse or otherwise problematic. It's a totally normal word in the local tongue.
 
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  • #5,154
Rive said:
De mondd magyarul, és akkor érteni fogom.
Él Budán vagy Pesten?
 
  • #5,155
WWGD said:
Are they even a republic?
No, it is a city-state.

But this is not funny. So let me add a pope joke.

The Pope is riding in a limousine on an Italian road. He is bored so he asks his driver if they can trade places. The driver is a bit reluctant, but when the Pope asks you something, you say yes. So the Pope takes the wheel while the driver relaxes in the back. Wanting a bit of excitement, the Pope decides to step on it and starts driving faster and faster. After a while, two carabinieri see a limousine driving past at high speed, start to chase it, and finally flag it down. One carabiniere says to the other: "That passer must think he is pretty important to have his driver go so fast." The other carabiniere goes to talk to the driver and issue a ticket. He comes back a minute later and his colleague asks: "So, who's this guy who thinks he's so important?" The other replies: "I don't know, but he must be important, because is driver is the Pope!"
 
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  • #5,156
This one is pretty old, but I thought good. Salman Rushdie, who went into hiding after he wrote the "Satanic Verses " put out a book right after he came out of hiding. "Buddha you Fat Bastard".
 
  • #5,157
fresh_42 said:
Él Budán vagy Pesten?
And your Hungarian is better than mine -- if you can compare with the empty set. Fogdam to PF, Rive.
 
  • #5,158
fresh_42 said:
Actually, they have Euro.
My O? I Idon't have an O ;.Ref:Verbal puns in ( ruined by) writing.
 
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  • #5,159
Ibix said:
By papal bull, perhaps?
I think infallibility may imply he cannot put out bull.
 
  • #5,160
WWGD said:
I don't have an O ;.Ref:Verbal puns in ( ruined by) writing.
Doll are you, what do you need an "O" for?
 

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