Collection of Lame Jokes

[drizzle]

OMG, that's a nice one too

I haven't voted yet, I know those with humer are pretty active this period of time!

 

[HeLiXe]

Me: You're even more attractive than usual today.

Her: It must be my new haircut. You like it, huh?

Me: Actually, I think it's the extra weight you've put on. Your gravitational pull has become quite severe.

And then the fight started.

 

[cobalt124]

From work colleague sat opposite:

She was only the telegraphers daughter but she didit didit didit didit...

She was only the colonels daughter but she knew what regi-ment

 

[OmCheeto]

...

And then the fight started.

Reminds me of:

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat mama's orbiting around her.

ps. Do not try the attractive joke on your bartender. No amount of "but I just saw it on the science forum..." will keep them from cutting you off. Especially if another barback has just been trapped in orbit... :(

 

[Lancelot59]

Reminds me of:

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat mama's orbiting around her.

ps. Do not try the attractive joke on your bartender. No amount of "but I just saw it on the science forum..." will keep them from cutting you off. Especially if another barback has just been trapped in orbit... :(

Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Elifino. ('El if I no)

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Hey Venezuela, is that your army or did Menudo get back together?

 

[Lancelot59]

What do periods and loan payments have in common?

It'll cost you a lot if either are late.

 

[The legend]

HAHA^

 

[HeLiXe]

Reminds me of:

Yo mama's so fat, she's got smaller fat mama's orbiting around her.

Yo mama's so fat that when she fell in love she broke it.

I've never heard those before...just the usual yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family and yo mama's so fat she falls off both sides of the bed etc. and i think some other elaborate one...yo mama's so fat she wore a yankee's jacket and helicopters were trying to land on her.

 

[Lancelot59]

I've never heard those before...just the usual yo mama's so fat she's on both sides of the family and yo mama's so fat she falls off both sides of the bed etc. and i think some other elaborate one...yo mama's so fat she wore a yankee's jacket and helicopters were trying to land on her.

What time are you going to pick your mom up from the airport? Her plane lands at 2, which would be 3 in her other time zone.

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Whats the difference between a woman and a terrorist?


You can negotiate with the terrorist!

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

Did you hear the rumor that Chuck Norris had a heart attack?

Turns out its only a rumor, Chuck Norris' heart is not foolish enough to attack him!

 

[i_wish_i_was_smart]

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.

What do you call a chinese woman with one leg?
Irene

 

[Lancelot59]

Whats the difference between a woman and a terrorist?


You can negotiate with the terrorist!

Isn't there a policy that says you're not supposed to though?

What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen.

What do you call a chinese woman with one leg?
Irene

Nice one.

 

[CyMark]

Horse walks into a bar. Barkeep: So why the long face?

 

[Markface]

When ABS first came out it was braking news.

 

[ThisGuy]

Havent read all jokes (yet) so I don't know if these have been posted. Anyway, here goes:

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One of them was a salted.

A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. "How much?" He asks the barkeep.
The barkeep replies, "For you sir, no charge."

 

[HeLiXe]

What time are you going to pick your mom up from the airport? Her plane lands at 2, which would be 3 in her other time zone.

 

[jtbell]

Who invented the algorithm? Punchline here.

 

[Borek]

This one wasn't lame.

 

[Lancelot59]

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

I like to shove paint up my *** and fart random patterns onto canvas.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

When your wife asks which of her friends you would like to have in a threesome, don't name two of them.
- Ray Romano

 

[Borek]

I like to shove paint up my *** and fart random patterns onto canvas.

You can google these pictures. Together with pictures showing how they were painted.

That's the lame joke.

 

[dkotschessaa]

Hey, did you guys here about the guy that had his whole left side cut off?

Anyway, he's all right now.

 

[HeLiXe]

I'm writing an essay on atheism and agnosticism and I came across this lol

 

[quantumdude]

Where's the "Like" button?? Oh yeah, this isn't facebook. :-\

 

[dkotschessaa]

 

[sas3]

http://img41.imageshack.us/img41/6341/resistanceh.th.jpg

 

[Lisa!]

http://www.yekpanjare.com/ws.jpg

 

[The legend]

LOL! ^