256bits
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That's nasty!
Collection of Lame Jokes
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256bits
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I was saying the joke is nasty, especially if you are the mother, who loves her son unconditionally - maybe not now!WWGD said:
jeff davis
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What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground Beef
Ground Beef
jeff davis
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What do you call a cow with only two legs?
Lean Beef
Lean Beef
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Science Advisor
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Computer fact:
Programmers are always worrying about "source code" but never about "destination code" because they have no idea where any of this is headed.
Programmers are always worrying about "source code" but never about "destination code" because they have no idea where any of this is headed.
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My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said: «No , we all seem to enjoy it.»
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Mentor
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Well, you know the classic existential questions: Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going?jack action said:
Step 1 is solved: Just type "whoami". Programmers are at step 2.
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I recall seeing a "video of poltergeist activity" being debunked. The poster claimed stuff moved round spontaneously at 3am every day. Skeptics pointed out that, from the date/time stamps on the videos, he appeared to have a poltergeist that respected daylight savings time...BillTre said:
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A colleague told me an eskimo joke, but Inuit.
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Johnny Yuma
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CAUTION...BAD PUN AHEAD:
At the San Francisco Zoo there was a exhibit of dolphins in a large pool. Sad to say, they were not shy about showing affection for one another. Complaints were filed. Zookeepers were informed that raw seagull meat would sublimate these urges. It worked. There are lot of gulls in the S.F. area, so...
Problem was, to get to the dolphins it was a long walk around the lion exhibit and occasionally, after lions were fed and sleepy, zookeepers would make a short cut thru the lion's den... safely, over and around the lions.
It was a shock when the FBI showed up one day and arrested some of the zoo keepers and hauled them away.
It was stated that the violation came under the ...1937 Mann Act: Crossing a staid lion...with a gull...for immoral porpoises.
At the San Francisco Zoo there was a exhibit of dolphins in a large pool. Sad to say, they were not shy about showing affection for one another. Complaints were filed. Zookeepers were informed that raw seagull meat would sublimate these urges. It worked. There are lot of gulls in the S.F. area, so...
Problem was, to get to the dolphins it was a long walk around the lion exhibit and occasionally, after lions were fed and sleepy, zookeepers would make a short cut thru the lion's den... safely, over and around the lions.
It was a shock when the FBI showed up one day and arrested some of the zoo keepers and hauled them away.
It was stated that the violation came under the ...1937 Mann Act: Crossing a staid lion...with a gull...for immoral porpoises.
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How does a man start a smart sentence?
My wife has said, ...
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You may need a permit for a deck but anyone can store a boat behind their house:
Johnny Yuma
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Another pun...Old cattle rancher was getting to retire. Had two sons and wanted to pass off the business to them. He thought Jones Cattle Ranch name should be retired and told sons to come up with a new name. They came back couple of days later and announced the new name should be FOCUS. Why, asked the old timer ? They replied..."because that is where the sons raise meat".
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The focus is where the Sun's rays meet.davenn said:
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Damn time change. I had to go around and do this to all my clocks:
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A pirate goes to see his doctor. "Arrr, I 'av moles on mi back."
The doctor tells him to take off his shirt so he can have a look. After he examines him he says "It's ok - they're benign".
"Arr," says the pirate. "Count again - I think there be ten."
The doctor tells him to take off his shirt so he can have a look. After he examines him he says "It's ok - they're benign".
"Arr," says the pirate. "Count again - I think there be ten."