Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Ice, Ice baby no more!

My association chains are strange. It wasn't 'Ice, Ice baby' but 'No more' (Elvis). It took me quite a while to figure out which song the original was.

 

[WWGD]

Maybe someone already posted this?

 

[mfb]

Electricity seems to be a European project:

Help, the countries are multiplying again!

F = C / V
England = France / Italy

Ohm = V / A
Germany = Italy / France = 1 / England

Germany is the inverse of England. As we know from football already.

 

[WWGD]

Help, the countries are multiplying again!

I thought the EU's goal was to avoid division ;).

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

You missed something. You would love Douglas Adams! Full of absurdities, language humor, and a manic depressive robot hero "with a brain of the size of a planet" who has to "escort the prisoners". But the best part is the absurdities.

One of my favorite absurdities is the SEP field, which is a cloaking device:

An SEP is something we can't see, or don't see, or our brain doesn't let us see, because we think that it's somebody else's problem. That’s what SEP means. Somebody Else’s Problem. The brain just edits it out, it's like a blind spot.

Source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somebody_else's_problem

 

[DennisN]

:)

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

 

[DennisN]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

Hilarious :

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Hope not too political :

 

[Bystander]

Hope not too political :

Since when is/(has been) "Farcebook" political?

 

[Keith_McClary]

Hope not too political

Peter Steiner, 1993:

Facebook knows you're a dog.

 

[WWGD]

Peter Steiner, 1993:
View attachment 292041
Facebook knows you're a dog.

1993? Wasn't Facebook created in 2004?

 

[berkeman]

1993? Wasn't Facebook created in 2004?

Dog years. Sheesh, this is a science forum after all...

 

[sysprog]

1993? Wasn't Facebook created in 2004?

The fine-print internal caption reads "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." $-$ the Facebook reference was part of a reply comment.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jtbell]

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!"

"Don't worry, sir. The spider on the spoon will get it."

 

[fresh_42]

"Waiter! Try the soup!"
"What's wrong? Is it too hot?
"Try the soup!"
"Is it too salty?"
"Try the soup!"
"We can serve you a new one."
"Try the soup!"
"Ok. Where's the spoon?"
"Do you notice something?"

 

[nuuskur]

"Waiter! Try the soup!"
"What's wrong? Is it too hot?
"Try the soup!"
"Is it too salty?"
"Try the soup!"
"We can serve you a new one."
"Try the soup!"
"Ok. Where's the spoon?"
"Do you notice something?"

reminds me of Coming to America, the closing scenes :D

 

[DrGreg]

"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"The breaststroke"

 

[fresh_42]

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"
"Sorry, I'll bring you a comb."

 

[WWGD]

No, it's coffee-soup. And it's depressed:

 

[WWGD]

Or it's alcohol-soup: This is how my friend chose his wife. 5 does it!

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 292085

I know an airplane version of that:

After the pilot introduced himself, explained the flight plan, and greeted everyone, just shout out loud: "What? He? Is he allowed to fly yet again?"

Or another one:

If the person on a commuter train approaches to check your ticket, stand up and run. After he caught you just show your ticket.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

The fine-print internal caption reads "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." $-$ the Facebook reference was part of a reply comment.

Yes, thanks, misread and thought Steiner mentioned Facebook, not just the internet, which was a thing in 1993.

 

[DennisN]

 

[valenumr]

Or it's alcohol-soup: This is how my friend chose his wife. 5 does it!View attachment 292084

Somebody got a winner!

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[mfb]

Or it's alcohol-soup: This is how my friend chose his wife. 5 does it!View attachment 292084

Amateurs.

Granted, that's a world record, but 10 one-liter beers are routinely carried.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 292224

View attachment 292225

View attachment 292227

A categorically great post and certainly not a catastrophe. It caters to our taste in jokes. Thankfully now part of our catalogue of jokes.