Collection of Lame Jokes

Ibix

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A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses,
dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded,
amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed
They're going to adapt Roget's Thesaurus for the big screen. It'll be called "Thesaurus: The Movie, Film, Picture, Flick".

(Always cite your sources: Milton Jones, I think)
 

Ibix

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Related: one way to estimate a librarian or bookseller's experience level is to ask for a copy of Roger's Dinosaur and see if they start searching the children's fiction section or go directly to reference books.
 

Klystron

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[...]problems start once you no longer see the spider :D
The solution to this problem involves music accompanied by body language and signs:

"The inky-binky Spider crawled up the water spout." {Stand straight. Wave your fingers upright in the air to simulate climbing.}

"Down came the rain and washed the spider out" {Frown. Lower your arms and wiggle your fingers downward.}

"Out came the Sun and dried up all the rain." {Smile and lift your fingers in a circle.}

"And the inky-binky Spider climbed up the spout, again." {Stand tall. Wave your hands in the air, triumphant.}

Witness the Spider's dilemma. From YouTube.
 
Last edited:

WWGD

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I don't know where my sister wants to go. I guess Alaska .
 

WWGD

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My sister went to the West Indies.
Jamaica?
No, she wanted to go.

(A very old joke, paraphrased)
Addition of jokes: I dont know where my sister wants to go. I guess Alaska. If she wont tell you, Jamaica.
 

fresh_42

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Yesterday I played chess against my little eight-year-old daughter. She was playing for the first time.
Of course I beat her.

But only because the lousy pita has won.
 

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