Collection of Lame Jokes

[Keith_McClary]

Pacific Tropical Storm Amanda has now crossed Central America, and its remnants are entering the Gulf of Mexico. If it becomes a tropical storm again, it will receive the name Cristobal. Would this be the first transgender storm on record?

Nope.

 

[Bystander]

"Organized anarchists."

 

[WWGD]

"Organized anarchists."

SAA: Society Against Abbreviations.

 

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[Klystron]

"Organized anarchists."

SAA: Society Against Abbreviations.

Inclusive nihilists.

 

[WWGD]

Inclusive nihilists.

International Association of Hermits.

 

[Klystron]

International Association of Hermits.

Crowd control of agoraphobes.

 

[Ibix]

Military Intelligence.

 

[jack action]

A piece of inner tube = A Ferrari V12
(play with sound on)

​

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

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[jack action]

View attachment 264122

I found another one related to this one:

 

[phinds]

I just saw a friend of mine post this and got a few good laughs out of it. Thought you’d enjoy it.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Joe Biden: Why did the chicken do the...thing in the...you know the rest.

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is.

AOC: Chickens should not be forced to lay eggs! This is because of corporate greed! Eggs should be able to lay themselves.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

KING DAVID: O Lord, why dost the chicken cross the road? And why art the chicken hawks beset around it? Surely in vain the road is crossed in the sight of any predator.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

 

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[strangerep]

Thought you’d enjoy it.

Thanks you -- I did. My favorite selections were:

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

It's suspicious that Bill failed to deny having sexual relations with "that chicken".

OPRAH: I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road [...]

 

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