Collection of Lame Jokes

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Oh, snap!

 

[Fervent Freyja]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

View attachment 274700

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?

"Hey... you going to eat that?"

 

[mfb]

I'm willing to be convinced both shots are legit.

The photographer said it's a double exposure in the link I posted. If that's not sufficient to convince you it's a double exposure, then I don't know what will.

 

[WWGD]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

Every time

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Bet @mfb will notice this one. Seems backwards:

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Bet @mfb will notice this one. Seems backwards:View attachment 274788

Apparently the virus can also cause pregnancy?

 

[WWGD]

Apparently the virus can also cause pregnancy?

Can't answer any further now, sorry. Preparing a thorough analysis of the joke just in case!

 

[phinds]

View attachment 274787

and don't forget:

 

[phinds]

Merry Xmas 2020 version

 

[Stavros Kiri]

 

[Fervent Freyja]

@phinds

 

[256bits]

View attachment 274868

Most of the time I find the google animations are ..meh.. This one I did like.

 

[Jarvis323]

 

[256bits]

What in the tarnation would be a gunpowder farm?

 

[Jarvis323]

Apparently it's a Minecraft thing.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 274940
What in the tarnation would be a gunpowder farm?

Minecraft.

A lot of things you can build in Minecraft require specific resources. Some you can mine, some you can make from raw materials, and some you have to hunt animals to obtain. Gunpowder comes from hunting creepers, a kind of creature which has a tendency to sneak up on you and explode. Hunting them is time consuming and dangerous. But there are ways to exploit the game mechanics to build farms, semi-automated farms, or even fully-automated farms for some creatures. Then you can sit back and let the resources roll in. Gunpowder is useful for building rockets, so you can fly around the world, and TNT (yeah, chemistry is a bit odd in Minecraft), which is useful for mining and for defence against other players.

 

[phinds]

Dumpster fire, brought to you by the year 2020

 

[phinds]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Climate Christmas Cards for 2020 and Beyond

 

[jack action]

 

[jtbell]

Competitive fishing must be a really cut-throat sport. I asked a contest-winner I know what the secret to his success is, and he replied, "If I told you, I'd have to gill you."

 

[phinds]

I vaguely remember reading some Tom Swift novels in my youth but I don't remember any of these "Tom Swifties". Some of them took me a moment to get.

I've had my left and right ventricles removed, said Tom, halfheartedly.
My hair's been cut off, said Tom, distressfully.
Where did you get this meat, asked Tom, hoarsely.
You dropped a stick, Tom needled.
Blow on the fire so it doesn't go out, Tom bellowed.
I can't believe we lost the election by only two votes, Tom recounted.
I'm losing my hair, Tom bawled.
Thanks for shredding the cheese, said Tom, gratefully.
I've located the Dog Star, said Tom, seriously.
You look like a goat, Tom kidded.
I used to own that gold mine, Tom exclaimed.
No thanks to that Frenchman, said Tom, mercilessly.
You're not a real magician at all, said Tom, disillusioned.
I've never had a car accident, said Tom, recklessly.

and my favorite:

That's the last time I'll pet a lion, said Tom, offhandedly.

 

[phinds]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Klystron]

View attachment 274541

TEXT: your excrement is our joy

(some Slavic language I don't know exactly which one)

Google Translate identifies the language as Croatian but without an English translation.

 

[Vanadium 50]

and my favorite:

That's the last time I'll pet a lion, said Tom, offhandedly.

My favorite:
"I dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.

 

[Vanadium 50]

You really don't want to go down that path. They just get worse and worse.

"Ein, zwei, drei, fünf," said Tom fearlessly.

 

[Halc]

My favorite:
"I dropped my toothpaste," said Tom, crestfallen.

"And I don't have another" Tom added aimlessly.