Collection of Lame Jokes

sysprog · Jul 19, 2020

WWGD said:

View attachment 266586

It's an actual company (in NSW, Australia) and that's their real phone number ##-##

WWGD · Jul 19, 2020

sysprog said:

It's an actual company (in NSW, Australia) and that's their real phone number ##-##

View attachment 266591

Thanks for the phone info but I don't need a whore at this moment. ;).

WWGD · Jul 19, 2020

wrobel · Jul 20, 2020

DrClaude · Jul 20, 2020

wrobel said:

View attachment 266617

And the question is written in Comic Sans...

wrobel · Jul 20, 2020

WWGD said:

View attachment 266593

Your Honor please do not send me to the scaffold

etotheipi · Jul 20, 2020

WWGD · Jul 20, 2020

wrobel said:

Your Honor please do not send me to the scaffold

Unfortunately my phone only displays " virw attachment 266993" , so I don't know what post you're referring to.

mfb · Jul 20, 2020

The quote should have a link at the top. It certainly has in the desktop version.
It's the "pardon" dog.

jim mcnamara · Jul 20, 2020

Had my family tree done. Seems I am the sap.

WWGD · Jul 21, 2020

WWGD · Jul 21, 2020

wrobel · Jul 21, 2020

WWGD said:

Unfortunately my phone only displays " virw attachment 266993" , so I don't know what post you're referring to.

your post with dog in wig

Mark44 · Jul 21, 2020

Ibix said:

I think I'm going to start a business selling second hand defibrillators in shocking condition and vacuum cleaners that suck. Any ideas for other products I could sell?

Second-hand watches with no second hand...

Mark44 · Jul 21, 2020

phinds said:

A truck with a load of Roget's Thesaurus overturned and spilled them all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, flabbergasted, amazed, surprized, taken aback, stupefied ...

What does a thesaurus have for breakfast?
A synonym bun.

WWGD · Jul 21, 2020

Read the book titles in order:

WWGD · Jul 21, 2020

phinds · Jul 21, 2020

The town council was concerned because not enough members were coming to meetings so they asked for suggestions. One member said, look let's make it absolutely mandatory that members come to the next meeting and for that meeting we'll bring in a hypnotist to plant a post-hypnotic suggestion that everyone attend meetings from now on. They all agreed that it should be tried.

The meeting started and the hypnotist was brought out. He faced the members, brought out a pocket watch, and in calm, slightly boring, but hypnotic voice said over and over ... watch the watch ... watch the watch ... watch the watch ... watch the watch ... watch the watch ... right then his finders slipped and he said, "oh, CRAP".

It took three days to clean up the council meeting room.