Collection of Lame Jokes

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Keith_McClary said:
Defund the police.
Defund naked subject.
 
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Keith_McClary said:
Smile, it's contagious.

Nah I'll pass on that one, one pandemic is enough for me
 
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Keith_McClary said:
Smile, it's contagious.
I know only two people which cause(d) an automatic smile in me:
Tenzin Gyatso and Charles Edward Anderson Berry
 
A truck with a load of Roget's Thesaurus overturned and spilled them all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, flabbergasted, amazed, surprized, taken aback, stupefied ...
 
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Johnny was filling up a good-sized hole in his back yard when the neighbor leaned over the fence and asked him what he was doing. The kid explained that he was burying his goldfish, which had died. Neighbor says, that an awfully big hole for a goldfish. Kid replies, yeah, that's 'cause he's inside your cat.
 
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phinds said:
A truck with a load of Roget's Thesaurus overturned and spilled them all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, flabbergasted, amazed, surprized, taken aback, stupefied ...
I suppose the driver was lost for words?
 
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main-qimg-1ab00b512bfdb964f1b6f495907a3652.jpeg
 
jack action said:
I pulled a muscle digging for gold. Just a miner injury.
My ex gf has a permanent injury...( Looking for gold in all the wrong places...)
 
I could have sworn I had the program to open .djvu files...Didn't I post this before?
 
fresh_42 said:
Not that far. Looks as if the photo was taken in the Netherlands.
But you can also do it in Far Go other places. Hint: Coen Brothers.
 
I could have sworn I had the program to open .djvu files...Didn't I post this before?
 
jack action said:
I pulled a muscle digging for gold. Just a miner injury.
Don't let a piano fall on you while you're down there, or you'll be A flat minor. <bwonnnnng>
 
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True.
Do Zebras have black stripes or white stripes? The hair on the belly is white, so black stripes. But skin is actually black.

From george carlin:
Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
Why are there InterState freeways in Hawaii?
Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
"This program was pre-recorded." Well, of course it was pre-recorded! When else are you going to record it, afterwards?
Chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking him up to electricity, do you?... When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the dang out of his hen, huh? Doesn't happen... 'cause chickens are decent people.

source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/georgecarlinjokes.html