Collection of Lame Jokes
- Thread starter quddusaliquddus
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jokes
Join the discussion
Registration is free. Ask a follow-up in this thread, or start your own.
24,336 replies · 3M views
Physics news on Phys.org
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 13,438
- 8,110
That's no fund.
Keith_McClary
- 752
- 1,507
Smile, it's contagious.
etotheipi
Keith_McClary said:Smile, it's contagious.
Nah I'll pass on that one, one pandemic is enough for me
Last edited by a moderator:
- 20,819
- 28,467
I know only two people which cause(d) an automatic smile in me:Keith_McClary said:Smile, it's contagious.
Tenzin Gyatso and Charles Edward Anderson Berry
- 19,385
- 15,622
A truck with a load of Roget's Thesaurus overturned and spilled them all over the road. Witnesses were stunned, startled, flabbergasted, amazed, surprized, taken aback, stupefied ...
- 19,385
- 15,622
Johnny was filling up a good-sized hole in his back yard when the neighbor leaned over the fence and asked him what he was doing. The kid explained that he was burying his goldfish, which had died. Neighbor says, that an awfully big hole for a goldfish. Kid replies, yeah, that's 'cause he's inside your cat.
Halc
Gold Member
- 466
- 389
- 2,188
- 2,694
Science Advisor
- 3,648
- 10,067
I pulled a muscle digging for gold. Just a miner injury.
Science Advisor
Homework Helper
- 7,908
- 13,226
You must Far Go to do this.fresh_42 said:
- 20,819
- 28,467
Sounds like a mayor injury.WWGD said:Looking for gold in all the wrong places...
- 20,819
- 28,467
Not that far. Looks as if the photo was taken in the Netherlands.WWGD said:You must Far Go to do this.
- 19,385
- 15,622
Ah, Jeez, it's starting again 
shjacks45
- 127
- 49
True.
Do Zebras have black stripes or white stripes? The hair on the belly is white, so black stripes. But skin is actually black.
From george carlin:
Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
Why are there InterState freeways in Hawaii?
Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
"This program was pre-recorded." Well, of course it was pre-recorded! When else are you going to record it, afterwards?
Chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking him up to electricity, do you?... When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the dang out of his hen, huh? Doesn't happen... 'cause chickens are decent people.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/georgecarlinjokes.html
Do Zebras have black stripes or white stripes? The hair on the belly is white, so black stripes. But skin is actually black.
From george carlin:
Why do we drive on a parkway but park on a driveway?
Why are there InterState freeways in Hawaii?
Where are we going? And what's with this handbasket?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
"This program was pre-recorded." Well, of course it was pre-recorded! When else are you going to record it, afterwards?
Chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? No. You don't see a chicken strapping some guy into a chair and hooking him up to electricity, do you?... When's the last chicken you heard about came home from work and beat the dang out of his hen, huh? Doesn't happen... 'cause chickens are decent people.
source: http://www.jokes4us.com/peoplejokes/comedianjokes/georgecarlinjokes.html
Science Advisor
- 1,396
- 1,164
text: the racing of submarines is an exciting show
Science Advisor
- 3,648
- 10,067
She's a hairstylist?WWGD said:My ex gf has a permanent injury...
Similar threads
- DennisN
- · Replies 17 ·
- Science Fiction and Fantasy Media
- Replies
- 17
- BillTre
- · Replies 4 ·
- Feedback and Announcements
- Replies
- 4
- jedishrfu
- · Replies 2 ·
- General Math
- Replies
- 2
- BadgerBadger92
- · Replies 1 ·
- General Discussion
- Replies
- 1
- Sciencemaster
- · Replies 33 ·
- Linear and Abstract Algebra
- Replies
- 33
- jtbell
- · Replies 188 ·
- Feedback and Announcements
- Replies
- 188
- smart_worker
- · Replies 7 ·
- AI and Computer Science
- Replies
- 7
- psie
- · Replies 3 ·
- Topology and Analysis
- Replies
- 3
- JT Smith
- · Replies 12 ·
- Quantum Physics
- Replies
- 12
- russellsh2
- · Replies 8 ·
- Mechanical Engineering
- Replies
- 8