Collection of Lame Jokes

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[hmmm27]

https://www.physicsforums.com/attachments/267850

 

[phinds]

?

 

[jtbell]

Why are fish so smart?

Because they live in schools.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 267766

They'll probably reorganize, add a psychiatrist to their staff, and reboot as "Odds and Ends."

 

[hmmm27]

?

So, apparently it's "a thing" to drop nonsense lines into some songs (that deserve them) ; in this case Ram Jam's version of Black Betty, that was a standard rock'n'roll club song for ages.

Whoa, Black Betty (panda lamps)...

<sigh> I guess you had to be then.

 

[DrClaude]

So, apparently it's "a thing" to drop nonsense lines into some songs (that deserve them) ; in this case Ram Jam's version of Black Betty, that was a standard rock'n'roll club song for ages.

Whoa, Black Betty (panda lamps)...

<sigh> I guess you had to be then.

I think the joke is based on misheard lyrics, as it is bam-ba-lam, not panda lamps

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

Boss: «How come I always have to look all over the workplace when I want to see you?»

Employee: «Don't you always say that good employees are hard to find?»

 

[Keith_McClary]

THE ONION

WASHINGTON—Announcing they were understaffed and needed all citizens to pitch in, NASA confirmed Monday that everyone in the country would need to take an hour-long shift looking out for asteroids headed toward Earth. “We don’t have enough astronomers on hand to always be watching the night skies for planet-destroying asteroids, so all of you are going to be assigned a time to help keep watch,” said NASA chief scientist James Green, explaining that he had been forced to crowdsource the work to the American populace after none of the temps sent over by a local employment agency had worked out. “All 318 million of you should be receiving an email with your scheduled patrol. If you can’t make your time slot, that’s fine, but you must find someone to cover for you. All you have to do is keep your eyes peeled for a huge, fiery asteroid on a collision course with Earth. On the off chance you do catch a glimpse of an enormous fireball coming our way, just yell real loud and we’ll send someone over to help.” Following reports of an unknown object hurtling through the atmosphere, NASA added a bunker-digging shift for every American.

 

[BillTre]

 

[phinds]

Howling wolf. We need the howling wolf icon!

 

[jtbell]

"Honey, don't you think we should look for a bigger place before the ducklings arrive?"

 

[Keith_McClary]

"Honey, don't you think we should look for a bigger place before the ducklings arrive?"

No problem.

 

[phinds]

Those ducks look SO proud of their brood.

 

[davenn]

yup

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[Ibix]

Those ducks look SO proud of their brood.

...or else those geese are insulted you're calling their goslings ducklings.

 

[wrobel]

text: you won't go anywhere in such a look, young lady

 

[jack action]

There are roughly 4200 religions. But there is only one flying spaghetti monster.

Don't be fooled by impastas.

 

[jack action]

- Doctor, when will we see the end of the COVID-19 pandemic?

- I don't know. I don't know much about politics.

 

[BillTre]

 

[jack action]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[nuuskur]

After seeing the doctor, the patient is waiting for the elevator thinking to himself: "Wait, what was it? Aquarius? No, Pisces, perhaps." Can't figure it out, walks back to the doctor's office and asks: "Hey, doc, was it Pisces?" The doctor looks at him and says: "No, sir, you have Cancer."

 

[jtbell]

A guy phones in an order of pizza for delivery.

Customer: "That'll be one large super supreme, please."

Clerk: "Would you like it cut into six or eight pieces?"

Customer: "Better make it six. I don't think I could manage to eat eight."