Collection of Lame Jokes

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The discussion revolves around sharing and enjoying "lame" jokes, with participants contributing various puns and one-liners. Jokes include classic setups like "A duck walks into a pharmacy..." and "Why did the chicken cross the road?" along with playful wordplay, such as "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." The humor is characterized by its groan-inducing quality, with many jokes eliciting laughter despite their simplicity. Participants also engage in light banter about the nature of humor, with some jokes being deemed too funny to qualify as "lame." The thread highlights a shared enjoyment of corny humor and the camaraderie that comes from exchanging jokes, creating a lighthearted atmosphere.
  • #13,301
What do you call it when you wake up in the morning covered in small denomination coins?

Moneypox
 
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Physics news on Phys.org
  • #13,302
Screen Shot 2022-08-18 at 9.37.39 AM.png
 
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  • #13,303
Why did the Star Wars films come out in order of episodes 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?

Because in charge of planning Yoda was.
 
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  • #13,304
"Do I need to bring anything?"
"Just good mood!"
Have canceled then.
 
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  • #13,305
Screenshot_20220818-193238_Chrome.jpg
 
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  • #13,306
It's true. When I lived in Kentucky, my neighbor had a ferret. He was dangerous and spent time at the local bar. Nothing like a mean drunk ferret. :olduhh:
 
  • #13,307
Why aren't THEY covering anything up in Utah?
 
  • #13,309
Swamp Thing said:
Florida is a nice one.
It really should be Florida Man. :oldbiggrin:
 
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  • #13,310
My result: 15 s.

X9hoUxT&tn=gMXr7BW6gpKPJJCa&_nc_ht=scontent-ham3-1.jpg
 
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  • #13,311
Actors and their stunt doubles
1660918792300.png


Coincidentally, I just read a short article about all the bones that Jackie Chan has broken over the years due to the fact that he does all his own stunts. It's a frightening list. Among other things he once broke his ankle and after being told he needed to stay completely off it for at least a week, he just painted the cast to look like a sock and then went right back and finished the movie.

He once jumped off the top of a 100 ft building to catch a rope hanging from a passing helicopter. He missed and fell to the ground. NO safety net or bounce pad. Broke numerous bones including a rib that punctured a lung. Guy is amazing.
 
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  • #13,312
phinds said:
Coincidentally, I just read a short article about all the bones that Jackie Chan has broken over the years due to the fact that he does all his own stunts. It's a frightening list. Among other things he once broke his ankle and after being told he needed to stay completely off it for at least a week, he just painted the cast to look like a sock and then went right back and finished the movie.

He once jumped off the top of a 100 ft building to catch a rope hanging from a passing helicopter. He missed and fell to the ground. NO safety net or bounce pad. Broke numerous bones including a rib that punctured a lung. Guy is amazing.
One of the reasons why I respect Jackie over many other artists. He's a living legend.
 
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  • #13,313
Well, I sent this to my son and he had just happened to see a video recently that showed clearly that not only does Chan use stunt double but he as stated as much on many occasions. He has ALSO said, on late night talk shows, that he does all his own stunts. So there are two Chans ... the honest one and the one that promotes his career.

None of that detracts from the fact that he DOES do most of his own stunts and he HAS been severely injured multiple times.
 
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  • #13,314
phinds said:
None of that detracts from the fact that he DOES do most of his own stunts and he HAS been severely injured multiple times.
... and it produces marvelous outtakes.
 
  • #13,315
phinds said:
So there are two Chans ... the honest one and the one that promotes his career.
Maybe its young Jackie and older Jackie.
 
  • #13,316
_nc_ohc=osTBxNpozgUAX-sAaUR&_nc_ht=scontent-dus1-1.png
 
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  • #13,317
phinds said:
NO safety net or bounce pad. Broke numerous bones including a rib that punctured a lung. Guy is amazing.
Amazingly stupid and reckless?
 
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  • #13,319
dextercioby said:
Well, they all escaped until recently when some vegans managed to domesticate them and breed in captivity.
 
  • #13,320
BillTre said:

A good one but unfortunately not true. If this weren't a science website who would care? Well maybe nobody cares anyways...

My sweetie and I love to put toasted pine nuts on our salads. When we are out of nuts are the salads as good? I suppose that would be a matter of a pinyon.
 
  • #13,321
fresh_42 said:
Is it that the numbers read
465
123
which is a strange order for gears.

https://www.rnib.org.uk/sites/default/files/Braille%201_v2-corrected.jpg
 
  • #13,322
Ibix said:
Is it that the numbers read
465
123
which is a strange order for gears.

https://www.rnib.org.uk/sites/default/files/Braille%201_v2-corrected.jpg
I can't read Braille.
 
  • #13,323
jack action said:
Amazingly stupid and reckless?
Amazing. Period.
 
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  • #13,324
8u87mkyfvqs31.jpg
 
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  • #13,326
1660971203914.png
 
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  • #13,327
1660986285094.png
 
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  • #13,328
1660989707355.png
 
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  • #13,331
FB_IMG_1661012375360.jpg
 
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  • #13,333
1661174909446.png
 
  • #13,334
Pearson textbooks be like:
1661183200251.png
 
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  • #13,337
dextercioby said:
Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc
 
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  • #13,338
phinds said:
Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc
How about:
◯ dozen eggs
◯ gallons of milk
◯ boxes of cheerios
◯ packages of bacon
 
  • #13,339
phinds said:
Reminds me of the story told by Jeanne Robertson about the time she sent her husband (whom she calls "left brain") to the store with a numbered grocery list.

He came home with
1 dozen eggs
2 gallons of milk
3 boxes of cheerios
4 packages of bacon
.
.
.
etc
I don't get how the numbers can be anything but multipliers here. @Swamp Thing's list illustrates this, as it makes no sense to write
Swamp Thing said:
◯ dozen eggs
◯ gallons of milk
◯ boxes of cheerios
◯ packages of bacon
 
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  • #13,340
DrClaude said:
I don't get how the numbers can be anything but multipliers here. @Swamp Thing's list illustrates this, as it makes no sense to write
I think we are to understand that the actual list looked like

1 eggs
2 milk
3 cheerios
4 bacon

And the list in phinds' post is what the guy came home with. Presumably, he filled in the units for each quantity according to his best judgement.

And the premise of my own feeble joke is that if it was a list with circle bullets, he would have come home with zero of each item.
 
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  • #13,341
Swamp Thing said:
And the premise of my own feeble joke is that if it was a list with circle bullets, he would have come home with zero of each item.
... or simply never have left ...
 
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  • #13,342
Orodruin said:
... or simply never have left ...
Depends on how left-brained he was.
 
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  • #13,343
20220823_012013.jpg
 
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  • #13,344
20220814_142950.jpg
 
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  • #13,345
Screen Shot 2022-08-23 at 9.59.24 AM.png
 
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  • #13,346
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  • #13,347
Orodruin said:
My first thought is Jar-Jar Binks in tree form.
Old, but related.
 
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  • #13,348
BillTre said:
[what the hell is that...]
I wouldn't have thought it possible that any Ent, no matter how disturbingly disfigured, could fail to get a part in The Two Towers. :oldfrown:
 
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  • #13,349
FB_IMG_1661255653889.jpg
 
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