Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

I have to quit my job because I'm not strong enough.

I gave my boss my too weak notice.

 

[jack action]

A lot of jokes about billionaires in space right now. So far, this one is my favorite:

 

[Keith_McClary]

A lot of jokes about billionaires in space right now.

Space asks humanity to stop sending it trash​

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[phinds]

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

I had a rough day at school, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary.
It just goes from bad to worse.

 

[WWGD]

My tough father the day of my sixth birthday:
" When I was your age...I was seven! ".

 

[DrGreg]

I had a rough day at school, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary.
It just goes from bad to worse.

Somebody went and ripped all the pages from my dictionary.

I was lost for words.

 

[davenn]

 

[phinds]

Somebody went and ripped all the pages from my dictionary.

I was lost for words.

I had the opposite problem. Guy threw a thesaurus at me. I was appalled, dazed, disconcerted, dumbfounded, floored, gobsmacked, overwhelmed,startled, stunned stupefied, surprised, taken aback, upset, amazed, astonished, shocked, staggered ...

 

[phinds]

 

[Ivan Seeking]

The new Femiclear commercial cracks me up.

 

[Ibix]

The new Femiclear commercial cracks me up.

Because it allegedly doesn't contain chemicals and is therefore presumably 100% bovine-sourced fertiliser?

 

[Ivan Seeking]

Because it allegedly doesn't contain chemicals and is therefore presumably 100% bovine-sourced fertiliser?

No but you have two guesses left.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

It is also the first commercial that comes to mind that seeks to destigmatize the "Hooha"

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

It is also the first commercial that comes to mind that seeks to destigmatize the "Hooha"

There was this gymnast with last name Hyman. They named her Misty Hyman. Maybe not a good choice for first name given the last name.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DrGreg]

My wife ran away with the man next door.

I do miss him.

-- Les Dawson​

 

[Ivan Seeking]

There was this gymnast with last name Hyman. They named her Misty Hyman. Maybe not a good choice for first name given the last name.

My ex worked with a gynecologist name Hyman.

And many many years ago, I worked with a guy name Harry Dong.

 

[WWGD]

My ex worked with a gynecologist name Hyman.

And many many years ago, I worked with a guy name Harry Dong.

I heard of a theory that names somehow shape the subconscious into certain careers. So there are dentists with first name Dennis, and so on.

 

[fresh_42]

My wife ran away with the man next door.

I do miss him.

-- Les Dawson​

https://www.physicsforums.com/threads/collection-of-lame-jokes.25301/page-356#post-6441504

 

[hmmm27]

I heard of a theory that names somehow shape the subconscious into certain careers. So there are dentists with first name Dennis, and so on.

I never bothered researching the history of computing, so - devoid of contradictory context - I thought "Grace Hopper" was an inside pun referring to "gracing" a card reader's input-hopper with a deck of punch cards.

It's hilarious now.

 

[WWGD]

I never bothered researching the history of computing, so - devoid of competing context - I thought "Grace Hopper" was an inside pun referring to "gracing" a card reader's input-hopper with a deck of punch cards.

It's hilarious now.

There's this big deal guy in database : Grant Fritchey. And IT guys with first names like " Dev and Wotek. Yes, these are not purely random and representative but it seems a good case may be made.