Collection of Lame Jokes

[Borg]

View attachment 331787

I'm guessing that man leaning on a tree hasn't been downwind of a cattle farm.

A quick Google check shows that there are 1.4 billion cars and 1 billion cows. Assuming that a car is parked (and turned off) for 95% of its life, that amounts to 72 minutes of running time per day. Meanwhile, the cows are happily producing 'emissions' 24/7. Even if you were to compare an average of cows to cars (1B cows/1.4B cars), it would still work out to 17 hours of cow emissions per day as compared to a car's 72 minutes.

 

[nuuskur]

plot twist, the person locked in the garage with a car will have died of CO poisoning

 

[phinds]

I'm guessing that man leaning on a tree hasn't been downwind of a cattle farm.

A quick Google check shows that there are 1.4 billion cars and 1 billion cows. Assuming that a car is parked (and turned off) for 95% of its life, that amounts to 72 minutes of running time per day. Meanwhile, the cows are happily producing 'emissions' 24/7. Even if you were to compare an average of cows to cars (1B cows/1.4B cars), it would still work out to 17 hours of cow emissions per day as compared to a car's 72 minutes.

An interesting analysis but utterly incomplete. How much methane do cows emit per hour vs how much do cars emit? If cars emit 20 times as much per running hour as does a cow for one hour **, then your analysis supports the thesis of the joke.

** I suspect this is not the case, but I'm just sayin' ...

 

[Borg]

An interesting analysis but utterly incomplete.

Whereas the original meme is utterly misleading. I wouldn't lock myself in a garage to determine whether an average car produces more pollutants than an average cow.

 

[phinds]

Whereas the original meme is utterly misleading. I wouldn't lock myself in a garage to determine whether an average car produces more pollutants than an average cow.

Nor would I. It IS a joke after all. Still, this side-steps the issue of your analysis being incomplete. How scientific is that?

 

[Borg]

Nor would I. It IS a joke after all. Still, this side-steps the issue of your analysis being incomplete. How scientific is that?

I never claimed completeness in my statement. My point is that the 'joke' tries to convince people of the invalidity of a premise by use of a strawman that is ridiculous in its analysis.

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

Alternative response: I think your butt makes that dress look big.

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 331833

Apologise, let her rant, act cowed.

 

[Swamp Thing]

act cowed

Moo

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Borg]

View attachment 331829

I guess that the court decided that it didn't pass the smell test.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[BillTre]

 

[BillTre]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[BillTre]

View attachment 331848

Snoop Dogg would work too.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[Borg]

That's got to be the worst pick up line ever.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 331856

I prefer J-Lo where I can set my bottle of beer on a different body part.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 331860

Yes, your standard underwater biking.

 

[WWGD]

Dwayne Johnson, aka " The Rock", will be having another child soon. To be called " Prudential", a piece of the Rock.

 

[jack action]

https://guthib.com/

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[DennisN]

 

[Ibix]

https://guthib.com/

See also isittuesday.co.uk and https://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/ for other useful information.

IIRC, the latter one creates a variable in Javascript and checks whether it exists before answering.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[jack action]

Patient: Will I be OK, Doc?

Doctor: I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus right now.

Patient: I don't do that astrology stuff.

Doctor: Me neither. My thermometer just broke.

 

[Borg]

Since Mercury impedes cognitive function, I guess that would make him a dumb ass.

 

[nsaspook]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

View attachment 331890

My father was informally known at his place of work as Mr Ibix, OBE, because his exclamation of choice when it all went pear shaped was "Oh, Bloody 'Ell".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]