Collection of Lame Jokes

[jack action]

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.

He said no.

 

[jack action]

How do non-binary people kill other people?

Spoiler: Answer

They/Them

Spoiler: What?!

They-slash-them

 

[jack action]

 

[phinds]

 

[jack action]

Thinking of you @phinds

 

[Gifovaco]

How do non-binary people kill other people?

Spoiler: Answer

They/Them

Spoiler: What?!

They-slash-them

With a Hex {adecimal}

 

[jack action]

 

[Gifovaco]

View attachment 346648​

You could walk up on folks grinning and say "Hi, My name is Smiley"

 

[Bystander]

"Hi, My name is Smiley"

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074564/?ref_=nm_flmg_c_80_act

 

[fresh_42]

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074564/?ref_=nm_flmg_c_80_act

Interesting comment.

"Agents force a former con man to help them nab a corrupt politician." (imdb.com)

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

I decided to eat healthy this morning so I didn't eat any bacon with my milk and eggs. I made an omelet by adding some flour, a bit of brownie mix, and a little sugar. Here's what I ate.

 

[phinds]

 

[phinds]

 

[Gifovaco]

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074564/?ref_=nm_flmg_c_80_act

Yup... Now... haha ...

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0074564/?ref_=nm_flmg_c_80_act

Yup, cool... Here.. just for haha (me and my own self)...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Should have hired one who was Finnish.

They were getting a Lapp dance.

 

[WWGD]

To the person who invented zero: Thanks for nothing.

 

[fresh_42]

To the person who invented zero: Thanks for nothing.

I consider it a highlight in human history. The first time someone had the idea to name something that wasn't there. Brilliant! The downside of this thought is, that I bet it was an accountant.

 

[BillTre]

The first time someone had the idea to name something that wasn't there.

Isn't that what nothing does?

 

[fresh_42]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Yes, but that man wasn't British who said no-thing. It was an Indian long, long before the British built concentration camps in India. Google says that he said कुछ नहीं.

 

[gmax137]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Nothing does it like zero.

 

[fresh_42]

Nothing does it like zero.

And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!

Whatever has been there has been ignited and is gone now.
(No idea whether the Russians had a countdown in the sixties.)

 

[jbriggs444]

The first time someone had the idea to name something that wasn't there

Harvey? Is that you?

 

[fresh_42]

Harvey? Is that you?

I only know Mr. Floppy's version.

 

[DrGreg]

The downside of this thought is, that I bet it was an accountant.

I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.

 

[phinds]

I thought accountancy was based on the surreal number system.

Depends on whether or not they are honest. If not, then it's based on the imaginary number system.

 

[WWGD]

Isn't that what nothing does?

Not quite. Nothing really matters...to me.*

* Anyway the wind blows.

 

[berkeman]

 

[DrClaude]

And then there is the American variant that takes it literally:

10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1-ignition!

Is this the case? When Apollo XI lifted off, there was a zero, and ignition is at t - 5 seconds.