- #2,191
IMP
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Someone in a Prius actually tried to race me the other day, I had him for the first 100 feet but then my legs gave out.
Collection of Lame Jokes
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SUMMARY
This forum discussion centers around a collection of lame jokes shared by users, showcasing a variety of humor styles. Notable jokes include, "A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, 'Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill,'" and "What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick." Participants engage in light-hearted banter, with some jokes eliciting groans and laughter alike. The thread emphasizes the enjoyment of humor that is intentionally silly or absurd, appealing to those who appreciate puns and wordplay.
PREREQUISITES- Understanding of basic joke structure and humor types
- Familiarity with puns and wordplay
- Knowledge of cultural references in humor
- Ability to appreciate absurdity in comedic contexts
- Explore the history of puns in literature and comedy
- Research the psychology of humor and why people enjoy lame jokes
- Learn about different styles of comedy, including surrealism and absurdism
- Investigate the role of cultural references in joke-telling
Anyone looking to enhance their comedic repertoire, including aspiring comedians, writers, and individuals interested in the mechanics of humor. This discussion is particularly beneficial for those who enjoy light-hearted, silly jokes and want to understand their appeal.
- #2,192
Borg
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I was out of gas.IMP said:
- #2,193
Borek
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If you can solve - you are too close!
- #2,194
I like Serena
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Borek said:
Hehe. So if you can't solve, all is good? :P
- #2,195
Char. Limit
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I like Serena said:
Sorry, the logical equivalent is "if you are not too close, then you can't solve!"
- #2,196
mrcheeses
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rohitm95 said:
Ohm my god!
- #2,197
dkotschessaa
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Char. Limit said:
if you can solve you are too close
Also
"You can't solve or you are too close"
"It is not the case that You can solve this and you are not too close"
- #2,198
dkotschessaa
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And now, switching to inductive logic:
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. "Watson, you idiot!" he says. "Someone has stolen our tent!"
- #2,199
dkotschessaa
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Denying the antecedent, (as well as dessert:)
A logician said to his son, “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you can’t have any ice cream.” Upon hearing this, the son choked down a plate of broccoli, and his father, duly impressed, sent him to bed without any ice cream.
A logician said to his son, “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you can’t have any ice cream.” Upon hearing this, the son choked down a plate of broccoli, and his father, duly impressed, sent him to bed without any ice cream.
- #2,200
FtlIsAwesome
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Ibix said:
I need one of those. xD
- #2,201
pailbait
Man walks into a Doctor's surgery with a strawberry on his head.
The Doctor says "I will give you some cream for that".
The Doctor says "I will give you some cream for that".
- #2,202
DaveC426913
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Another man walks into a Doctor's office with a strawberry on his head, lettuce under each arm and a banana peel in his shorts.
The Doctor says "You're not eating right."
The Doctor says "You're not eating right."
- #2,203
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I can haz Heisenberger?
- Schrödinger's lolcat
- Schrödinger's lolcat
- #2,204
fuzzyfelt
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Ibix said:
Lol :)
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- #2,205
ShayanJ
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A guy goes to kitchen.Looks one side and doesn't see the pan,looks the other side and sees it
- #2,206
QuarkCharmer
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Shyan said:
lol
- #2,207
DaveC426913
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I still don't get it.QuarkCharmer said:lol
- #2,208
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Panning_(camera )DaveC426913 said:
I think.
Edit: I hope trying to explain jokes isn't against the rules on this thread...
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- #2,209
DaveC426913
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Wow. This is lame.Ibix said:
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- #2,210
QuarkCharmer
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DaveC426913 said:Wow. This is lame.
I think you mean awesome!
- #2,211
BadBrain
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A friend sent me this joke, which I scientifically corrected and here present for your amusement:
A Higgs boson walks up to the Church of the Charged Particle. The priest confronts him at the door and says: "I'm sorry, but we don't allow charge-neutral particles in here." The Higgs boson replies: "But you can't have mass without me!"
A Higgs boson walks up to the Church of the Charged Particle. The priest confronts him at the door and says: "I'm sorry, but we don't allow charge-neutral particles in here." The Higgs boson replies: "But you can't have mass without me!"
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- #2,212
BadBrain
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dkotschessaa said:
GREAT! An excellent example of the logical error of the Invited Inference!
***
Whooo! Posted this on a rock 'n' roll-oriented website, and I got my logical pants beaten off!
Here is a better formulation of that joke (actually a riddle) which more perfectly illustrates the logical error of the Invited Inference, without any logical escape other than the Invited Inference:
A logician said to his son, “If you don’t eat your vegetables, you can’t have any ice cream.” Upon hearing this, the son choked down all of his vegetables, and his father, duly impressed, sent him to bed without having allowed his son to eat any ice cream, which meant that the son ate no ice cream that night.
***
Then again, the equation of "broccoli" with "your vegetables" is also an example of the invited inference. This riddle is a proper toofer!
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- #2,213
jtbell
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I can't resist lifting this from another thread:
Vanadium 50 said:
- #2,214
Drakkith
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jtbell said:
Buahaha!
- #2,215
Ivan Seeking
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Vanadium 50 said:
And it's the large hadron collider, not the large hardon collider. That too is something else entirely.
- #2,216
Alfi
Ivan Seeking said:
oh thank you ... between the bosoms and the hardons
that was a laugh ... thanks
- #2,217
dkotschessaa
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http://chzmemeanimals.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/advice-animals-memes-when-youre-down-by-the-sea-and-an-eel-bites-your-knee-thats-a-moray.png
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- #2,218
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So Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader are duelling. They lock sabers and struggle for a moment.
"I know what you are getting for Christmas", Vader says.
"Nooo!" yells Skywalker and, with a burst of strength, breaks free. The two go back to trading blows and parries, but after a while Vader manages to lock the blades again.
"I know what you are getting for your birthday", he says.
"That's impossible!" cries Skywalker.
"No, Luke. I have felt your presents."
"I know what you are getting for Christmas", Vader says.
"Nooo!" yells Skywalker and, with a burst of strength, breaks free. The two go back to trading blows and parries, but after a while Vader manages to lock the blades again.
"I know what you are getting for your birthday", he says.
"That's impossible!" cries Skywalker.
"No, Luke. I have felt your presents."
- #2,219
rollcast
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There was an old miner called Joe and when he was a boy his father told him that the secret to living a long and healthy life was to sprinkle a teaspoon of gunpowder over his porridge every morning.
Joe done this every morning of his life and lived until he was 101.
He left behind, 6 children, 15 grandchildren, 28 great-grandchildren and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Joe done this every morning of his life and lived until he was 101.
He left behind, 6 children, 15 grandchildren, 28 great-grandchildren and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
- #2,220
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The wake was a blast.