Collection of Lame Jokes

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In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #6,441
You may need a permit for a deck but anyone can store a boat behind their house:

mW5fyA9PI0wOosxtZZFuRZVEIM&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,442
Another pun...Old cattle rancher was getting to retire. Had two sons and wanted to pass off the business to them. He thought Jones Cattle Ranch name should be retired and told sons to come up with a new name. They came back couple of days later and announced the new name should be FOCUS. Why, asked the old timer ? They replied..."because that is where the sons raise meat".
 
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  • #6,443
don't get it ??
 
  • #6,444
I know this feeling well

ice on where it hurts.jpg
 
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  • #6,445
davenn said:
don't get it ??
The focus is where the Sun's rays meet.
 
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  • #6,446
Ibix said:
The focus is where the Sun's rays meet.
D'Oh
 
  • #6,447
Damn time change. I had to go around and do this to all my clocks:

2OIJgzFGyrb7pfKdVwEm10Ri-s&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,448
A pirate goes to see his doctor. "Arrr, I 'av moles on mi back."

The doctor tells him to take off his shirt so he can have a look. After he examines him he says "It's ok - they're benign".

"Arr," says the pirate. "Count again - I think there be ten."
 
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  • #6,449
Went to watch the Sea Animal show.
I watched the one with the dolphins my friend watched the otter one.
 
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  • #6,450
Wow, that one went the way of Bohmian Rhpsody.
 
  • #6,451
WWGD said:
Bohmian Rhpsody.
He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him
(He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him)
Spare him his life from the MWI!
 
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  • #6,452
Ibix said:
He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him
(He's just a pilot wave, nobody loves him)
Spare him his life from the MWI!
An easy come, I grant you.
 
  • #6,453
Bell-zebub has an inequality set aside for me?
 
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  • #6,454
Ibix said:
Bell-zebub has an inequality set aside for me?
Is there a video from Carl Satan?
 
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  • #6,455
fresh_42 said:
Is there a video from Carl Satan?
Nah - Freddie "Anomalous Precession" Mercury.
 
  • #6,456
fresh_42 said:
Is there a video from Carl Satan?
It was collapsed by the ( tor) mentors upon viewing it.
 
  • #6,457
So, you think you have variables that can hide?
So, you think you have a pilot wave that determinedly guides?
 
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  • #6,458
how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

flying the Millenium Falcon.jpg
 
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  • #6,459
WWGD said:
Went to watch the Sea Animal show.
I watched the one with the dolphins my friend watched the otter one.
I am sure you both had a whale of a time.
 
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  • #6,460
davenn said:
how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

View attachment 252489
finally some perspective that I can relate to and pretend, instead of just being mesmerized and hypnotized by that snow coming at me windshield. Let the fantasy continue.
 
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  • #6,461
davenn said:
how many others are not embarrassed to also say yes to this...

View attachment 252489
I had to drive about 120 miles once through a snowstorm and that is exactly what I related it to.
Very hypnotizing.
 
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  • #6,462
_Pb0caGnweEGwc1TUeS73yefc8&_nc_ht=scontent.fymq3-1.jpg
 
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  • #6,463
A guy was driving with a case of dill pickles on the passenger seat next to him. As he went around a curve, the case slid over into him, causing him to lose control and crash into a tree.

The police investigator called it “a Vlasic case of gherkin the steering wheel.”
 
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  • #6,464
his panic attacks.jpg
 
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  • #6,465
validate parking.jpg
 
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  • #6,466
Gengis Khan and so can you , but Immanuel Kant.
 
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  • #6,467
BillTre said:
I had to drive about 120 miles once through a snowstorm and that is exactly what I related it to.
Very hypnotizing.
I understand this is why roads are made to wind and are not designed to be straight, to avoid the hypnotic effect by forcing the driver to do a bit of extra steering. Though this is not likely to not be an issue when there are snowstorms.
 
  • #6,468
Of all the different blood groups,
Type O’s make the most spelling mistakes.
 
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  • #6,469
davenn said:
Of all the different blood groups,
Type O’s make the most spelling mistakes.
And Type A people mostly come from Taiwan.
 
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  • #6,470
WWGD said:
I understand this is why roads are made to wind and are not designed to be straight, to avoid the hypnotic effect by forcing the driver to do a bit of extra steering. Though this is not likely to not be an issue when there are snowstorms.
That depends on the country. If the topology allows some countries have very long straight roads.
 
  • #6,471
mfb said:
That depends on the country. If the topology allows some countries have very long straight roads.
EDIT:
But I thought straight roads caused the unwanted hypnotic effect so they are to be avoided when possible.
But not the UK:
But not the UK:

?
 
  • #6,472
WWGD said:
But not the UK
We romanticise our roads as "the rolling English country road". My Dad always added "...laid by the rolling English country drunkard".
 
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  • #6,473
Ibix said:
We romanticise our roads as "the rolling English country road". My Dad always added "...laid by the rolling English country drunkard".
... and in case a road gets close to one mile straight, you insert a roundabout. :biggrin:
 
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  • #6,474
fresh_42 said:
... and in case a road gets close to one mile straight, you insert a roundabout. :biggrin:
I have once seen a roundabout with one entrance and one exit. And then there's the Magic Roundabout.
 
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  • #6,475
The UK relates to roundabouts as Switzerland relates to tunnels!
 
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