Collection of Lame Jokes

[fresh_42]

Is Switzerland a nice country to live in?

It is indeed, but I'd recommend the Welsh part, and before I forget ...

I dunno, but the flag is a big plus.

...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jack action]

Speed limit of the week!

View attachment 325707

I think this is as close as the USA will get to the SI system when asked to enforce a 20 km/h speed limit.

 

[BillTre]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[benorin]

View attachment 325714

Oh, the irony!

 

[fresh_42]

Oh, the irony!

Indeed! And London isn't the cheapest place to work. The position requires at least a ticket for the tube and money to have lunch.

 

[benorin]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 325860

I know of women with first name ' Isla'. An island onto herself.

 

[jack action]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

Meeting someone I hadn't seen in a while.
Her: " I don't remember what you look like"
Me: " Don't worry, I remember what I look like".

 

[mjc123]

View attachment 325860

And, of course, Man is an island.

(Isle of Man, for those unfamiliar with UK geography.)

 

[BillTre]

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

Remembering a funny moment with my mom. Don't know if I already " Told it":

I went out to eat with mom. Service was horrible from beginning to end. We left the restaurant, gave no tip whatsoever.
Waiter approaches us as we're exiting the place. He says : " Ma' am, service is not included". My mom replies: " Yes, I can tell". And we walked out.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

I don't know what is more disturbing, the soup or the liquor ...

 

[Borg]

At least he has the defroster on. Otherwise, the steam from the soup would fog up the windows.

 

[jack action]

I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face when she scanned the packet of bird seeds, and I asked her how long does it take for the birds to grow once I planted them.

 

[fresh_42]

I'll never forget the look on the cashier's face when she scanned the packet of bird seeds, and I asked her how long does it take for the birds to grow once I planted them.

And how long did it take? Asking for a friend ...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[gmax137]

I wat to start growing my own food. But, I can't find bacon seeds anywhere.

Sorry, that might be a repeat.

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[ohwilleke]

 

[WWGD]

A kind of stale one:
Everyone talks about Newton's Law, but Cole's law is more important.
What's Cole's Law?
Thinly-sliced cabbage

Apologies , my phone doesn't give me the option of hiding text

 

[jtbell]