Collection of Lame Jokes

[dextercioby]

 

[Orodruin]

The sign is in Swedish, but I had to share this anyway. Roughly translated:

Pedestrian bridge over Dalälven River closed. Pedestrians please use the other side.

 

[jack action]

 

[Halc]

Capt. K sure didn't have any companions like Belichick's when I was a kid c. 1960. At least not on the air...

There was that rabbit...

 

[fresh_42]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[davenn]

 

[Borg]

 

[BillTre]

 

[berkeman]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 357302

 

[DrGreg]

I thought "O Ω" was a Greek pronunciation guide.

 

[gmax137]

I thought "O Ω" was a Greek pronunciation guide.

I thought "Oh Om" was a prana thing.

 

[fresh_42]

I thought "Oh Om" was a prana thing.

That fits better as $0\,\Omega$ equals infinitely many $SSSSSS...$.

 

[Orodruin]

 

[gmax137]

...

I like the way your sig line goes with this post:
"You did not take relativity of simultaneity into account."

 

[dwarde]

 

[Orodruin]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 357313

... and its ecological footprint is unmatched!

 

[phinds]

 

[DennisN]

 

[dextercioby]

 

[dwarde]

 

[nsaspook]

 

[fresh_42]

 

[jtbell]

What did the hamburger give his girlfriend for Valentines Day?

An onion ring.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 357401

Too bad that 1611992 is too short.

 

[davenn]

 

[fresh_42]

View attachment 357403

Be careful! I have read, many, many years ago at times when we had a little button that could speed up the CPU to a jaw-dropping value of 66Hz, that someone in the US had shot his computer out of frustration and it didn't work well for him. Not that I couldn't understand him.

 

[davenn]

Too bad that 1611992 is too short.

I tried working out several variations. assuming you were also using the periodic table ....
I couldnt conclude which were single digits and which were double digits

1 6 11 9 92
H C Na F U

16 11 9 92

16 11 99 2


probably something totally different ???

 

[fresh_42]

I tried working out several variations. assuming you were also using the periodic table ....
I couldnt conclude which were single digits and which were double digits

1 6 11 9 92
H C Na F U

16 11 9 92

16 11 99 2


probably something totally different ???

No, SNAFU is correct. System Now All ... Up.

 

[fresh_42]

A guy sits down at a bar. "Is everything okay?" the bartender asks. "My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn't going to talk to me for a month." The bartender says, "Well, maybe that's a good thing... a little peace and quiet?" "Yeah but today is the last day."

 

[phinds]

Lumberjack's nightmare:

 

[dextercioby]

 

[WWGD]

View attachment 357388

Why did they remove

Too bad that 1611992 is too short.

As long as 8675309.

 

[WWGD]

A man from Japan, married a French woman. A Bible book , "Half-Asians"( Edit: Ephesians), was written about their children.

 

[DaveC426913]

A man from Japan, married a French woman. A Bible book , "Half-Asians", was written about their children.

I don't get it. :(

 

[Ibix]

I don't get it. :(

Ephesians, I presume.

 

[fresh_42]

Ephesians, I presume.

Maybe, the "Paths Of Gods" (=Shinto)?

 

[WWGD]

Ephesians, I presume.

Indeed. 3:16 + $2.99 S&H.

 

[WWGD]

I don't get it. :(

Just added an edit.

 

[fresh_42]

 

[WWGD]

When my accountant held the door open for me, I said: Thanks, I appreciate it. He said: And I depreciate it.

 

[jtbell]

View attachment 357497

Less than a gigabyte? I had to make do with 8 megabytes on my first memory stick IIRC. And I had to carry it to my office in a blizzard, walking uphill both ways.

 

[Orodruin]

Less than a gigabyte? I had to make do with 8 megabytes on my first memory stick IIRC. And I had to carry it to my office in a blizzard, walking uphill both ways.

In a summer job I had when I was a student a firmware program I was updating had to fit on a 1.4 MB floppy so it could be brought out to make the updates in the field. And this was in the beginning of the 00s …

 

[DrGreg]

In a summer job I had when I was a student a firmware program I was updating had to fit on a 1.4 MB floppy

1.4 MB? Luxury!

When I were a lad, we wrote our programs on punched card, max 80 bytes per card.

 

[jack action]

First week working at the bicycle factory and they’ve already made me the spokes person.

 

[berkeman]

 

[WWGD]

A company, Genesis10, offered me a job as a Nursing Assistant, something I know nothing about. It must be some misunderstanding, some type of mistake.