Collection of Lame Jokes

[davenn]

 

[davenn]

If you know, you know

 

[berkeman]

 

[kuruman]

If a mole is Avogadro's number, what is a guacamole?

Spoiler

Avocado's number.

 

[davenn]

 

[DennisN]

Pro marriage tip :

Bro thought this was the best way to calm his wife down

 

[davenn]

Pro marriage tip :

Bro thought this was the best way to calm his wife down

I follow Michael and Jennifer on FB, lots of good giggles

 

[davenn]

 

[Swamp Thing]

Thermal papers never dye, they just fade away.

 

[kuruman]

When a clown threw a pie at another clown's face, both clowns vanished. Why?

Spoiler

They had a face difference of one pie.

On edit
Additional hint, if needed.

Spoiler

What is the minimum phase (not face) difference for destructive interference of two waves?

 

[symbolipoint]

When a clown threw a pie at another clown's face, both clowns vanished. Why?

Spoiler

They had a face difference of one pie.

I have no idea what that is or means. I did look at the spoiler message.

 

[renormalize]

I have no idea what that is or means. I did look at the spoiler message.

"They had a face phase difference of one pie $\pi\,$."
So when added together they canceled out each other.

 

[DaveC426913]

"They had a face phase difference of one pie $\pi\,$."
So when added together they canceled out each other.

This probably would have landed better in the lame math jokes thread.

 

[Steve4Physics]

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a trade-union leader?

Spoiler

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".

 

[Ibix]

How do you tell the difference between a physicist and a trade-union leader?

Ask them to derive Newton's form of his law of gravity from Poisson's equation.

 

[collinsmark]

This probably would have landed better in the lame math jokes thread.

I think it could have gone both ways. Interference (destructive interference in this case) is a big thing in physics (interferometry, beam forming, double slit experiment, just to name a few).

@kuruman is doing a ~1 per day lame joke from an old (11 year old) list of physics jokes he dug up.

 

[kuruman]

What do you call a music director who works only half-time?

Spoiler

Semiconductor.

 

[berkeman]

Yikes!

 

[symbolipoint]

What do you call a music director who works only half-time?

Spoiler

Semiconductor.

You would mean "semidirector"? Riddle would seem to work better if question were "what do you call a music/or orchestra/ or band conductor who works only half-time"?

Just my figuring while not being sure of the difference between a conductor and a director.

 

[kuruman]

Just my figuring while not being sure of the difference between a conductor and a director.

My uncle was a conductor . . . he got hit by lightning.

 

[Ibix]

My uncle was a conductor . . . he got hit by lightning.

A shocking story.

 

[kuruman]

(This one has nested spoilers.)

What is "Real men don't eat quiche" known as?

Spoiler

The virile theorem.

Spoiler

Please click here for clarification if needed.

 

[jtbell]

I wonder if the founder of this bookstore was a physics major.

 

[kuruman]

I wonder if the founder of this bookstore was a physics major.

What would we do without AI?

 

[kuruman]

What Mexican dish is prepared most efficiently?

Spoiler

Chili con Carnot.

Spoiler: if you don't get it.

The actual dish is chili con carne. The Carnot cycle is the most efficient way to do work (cook) as heat is transferred from a high temperature reservoir (stove) to a cold temperature reservoir (chili).

 

[jtbell]

 

[Borg]

And ice cream makes me fat - which makes me unhappy. So Schrödinger's cows are different from his cat because once I eat the ice cream, I am both happy and unhappy at the same time.

 

[davenn]

 

[kuruman]

What did the doctor say to the patient whose skin could feel neither heat nor cold?

Spoiler

It looks like you are a diabetic.

Spoiler

Adiabatic?

 

[berkeman]