Layman said:
As far as I know, it is generally agreed that delays in light transmission have nothing whatsoever to do with the phenomenon of "time dilation." Time delays are just complications which need to be factored out.
In the usual sense of the term "time dilation", yes, it's what you get after you have corrected for light travel time.
Layman said:
A person directly under a lightning bolt with perceive the accompanying flash of light and sound of thunder "simultaneously." A person 5 miles away will see the light first, then hear the sound of thunder later. They are not "simultaneous" to him (in the order in which he subjectively perceives those two phenomena).
This is not the sense of "simultaneity" that matters for this discussion. The lightning and thunder happen at a single spatial location. "Simultaneity" in the sense that matters for this discussion (since it's the sense that is frame-dependent) refers to whether or not events at different spatial locations happen "at the same time".
Layman said:
Why should it be different with the lightning bolts on the track in Einstien's example.
Because the lightning strikes happen at different spatial locations, whereas the lightning and thunder in your example happen at the same spatial location.
Layman said:
It is funny (to me) that Al explicitly presupposes that the train in actually moving (wrt the embankment) in order to explain why the passenger on the train does not "perceive them simultaneously.
No, you're mixing up the two senses of "simultaneous" again. The observer's perception also happens at a single spatial location, so whether or not he perceives the two lightning flashes "simultaneously" in this sense (i.e., light signals from the two lightning strikes arrive at his spatial location at the same event--an "event" is a point in spacetime, a single location in space at a single instant of time) is invariant, not frame-dependent. Einstein's argument simply establishes that, if the observer on the embankment receives light signals from the two lightning strikes at the same event, the observer on the train *cannot* receive them at the same event; he must receive the two light signals at two different events. In order to establish that, Einstein does not assume that the train is "actually moving"; as your own parenthetical comment shows, he only assumes that the train is moving relative to the embankment. No "actual" motion is required; just relative motion.
Layman said:
Obviously, if the passenger on the train also (like Al did) assumes he is actually moving, then he will factor his own motion into his subjective perceptions and "correct" for the perceived lack of simultaneity just like he might for a delayed perception of thunder.
It's quite true that the observer on the train, just like the observer on the embankment, will correct for light travel time in order to determine at what time, by his clock, each lightning strike happened. But when the train observer makes that correction, he *still* finds that the two lightning strikes happened at different times!
First, work through how the embankment observer does this correction. The points where the lightning strikes hit, on the embankment, are equidistant from him, so the light travel time to him will be the same for both. He receives light signals from both strikes at the same instant; therefore he concludes that the two strikes happened at the same time (the time he receives the light signals, minus the light travel time).
Now work it through for the train observer. In Einstein's original formulation, the lightning strikes each hit the embankment just as the ends of the train are passing the points on the embankment where the lightning strikes hit. Let's suppose that each strike leaves a mark on both the embankment and the train, so that both observers, at their leisure, can go back and verify where the strikes hit. The train observer, like the embankment observer, will then say that the two strikes happened at the same distance from him (since he is in the center of the train, equidistant from the two ends where the strikes hit). But that means the light travel time to him for both strikes is the same; yet he receives the signals at different times by his clock. Therefore the lightning strikes must have happened at different times by his clock.