Emotional Stress/Depression (How to deal with School)

[dashkin111]

A few weeks ago I lost my girlfriend whom I dated for over 3 years. She immediately started dating another guy. I haven't been in a happy place since then... and find it extremely hard to motivate myself to do any work, study, or even just get out of bed. I've been getting help for it, but I still just feel down all the time.. I was doing so good in school before, I don't want this to bring me down.. but it has been. Any advice?

 

[Poop-Loops]

Continue getting help. Have you tried exercising at all? It makes you feel great.

 

[mr_coffee]

I know the feeling my g/f left me after 4 years but you have to move on. What helped me the most move on is to hang out with friends or other female friends that make you happy.

There will be a time of depression but you can't get stuck in it or else you suffer and no one else. Meaning, it doesn't matter how depressed you get, she isn't going to change her feelings.

If she immediately started dating another guy she was probably cheating on you during the relationship or she was planning on doing it, but would feel bad so dumped you before doing it that way she is guilt free in her mind.

The reason I am telling you this is so you stop having feelings for her and realize she sucks and you need to find someone better who wouldn't do that to you.

I agree with Poop, exercising and lifting, making yourself feel good/attractive will help your confidence, then going to party's with your friends, not to find another girl right away but just to mingle and have fun.

I actually found another girl about 3 months after and my g/f who left me after 4 years got so jealous and wanted me back just because I found another girl, but of course I told her to F off.

Goodluck!

 

[Pythagorean]

I had my biggest heartbreak ever in the middle of a school semester. After about a month of being silly over it, I kind of decided that school was more important and me and school would have more time to spend with each other now that she was out of our way.

 

[hotcommodity]

I know how you feel, my gf and I are kind of in a slump, and it's really hard to get motivated. The best thing you can do is put it out of your mind the best you can, and realize that you only have one shot at school, so you better make it count.

 

[dashkin111]

It may seem weird.. but she was kind of my motivation to do good in school..

 

[hotcommodity]

Then let her be the motivation for you to continue to do well. Give a stellar academic performance, and show her what she missed out on.

 

[Retsam]

Best thing to do is just keep on with the school work and sit it out. Will take a while but eventually the wounds will heal, all you got to do is wait around long enough and it will happen. There is no other way past it I'm afraid.

 

[Astronuc]

It may seem weird.. but she was kind of my motivation to do good in school..

That is probably quite common. One might find inspiration or motivation through positive feelings about another. However, to be successful, one has to find it within.

It certainly is hard to overcome the loss of an intimate relationship, but as mr_coffee mentioned, one has to get over it and move on.

 

[dashkin111]

Thanks everyone

That is probably quite common. One might find inspiration or motivation through positive feelings about another. However, to be successful, one has to find it within.

It certainly is hard to overcome the loss of an intimate relationship, but as mr_coffee mentioned, one has to get over it and move on.

That's inspiring, but I'm the type of person to not think of myself much... I nearly always have put others before myself, which makes it hard for me to do things just for me.

 

[user101]

I have to second going to the gym/lifting weights - it releases endorphins, which is good for you.

"Endorphins are neurotransmitters produced in the brain that reduce pain," says Alan Hirsch, MD, neurological director of the Smell & Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago. "They have also been known to induce euphoria." Drugs such as morphine, heroine and cocaine are classic endorphin-releasing entities, according to Dr. Hirsch. But luckily for us, there are less addictive ways of experiencing such sweet rhapsody.

I regularly go to the gym and it significantly releases the stress I have (about school, as well). It makes you feel great afterwards and about yourself later on!

And as someone said above, you should have the attitude where if you do good in school and succeed, it should be something SHE missed out on - not you!

Good luck.

 

[Luke1294]

I wiil also cosign to lifting as a great course of action. Right around this time last year, my girlfriend left me. We did not have a clean break in the slightest. We attended the same small college for an engineering degree, which meant that in the coming semester, we were still in 4 out of 5 classes together (only one section each). It was awful seeing her every day, but...whatever. My best friend and I started lifting again, something we hadn't done since high school. I put all of my time into either lifting or school or the occasional social activity (I'm involved with the local punk/hardcore scene), and after awhile, things began to get a lot better. I felt great, I looked awesome, and I was totally fine with being single...but most of all, being absolutely dedicated to two things let me get over the dumb girl much quicker than I would have otherwise.

Just be sure you take some time and do some research and EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT. I went from 155 lbs to 185 lbs in just about 3 months. EAT.