I'm a 4th year physics student in the EU. Over the course of my undergrad degree I developed an unbalanced lifestyle to pull through the degree and learn as much as I could, with hopes of going to graduate school to do astrophysics research. I gave up on regular exercise and hobbies in my 2nd year because I wasn't performing well enough. I never had breaks in between my years as I often spent summers studying for September resit exams (not so bad in my country, we have a high attrition rate in physics), which placed me in the fortunate cohort of the only 5 students potentially graduating this year, out of my entering class of ~40. Grades have been ok my country's and prof/advisor's standards, but not excellent. I've always had a generalized feeling of not feeling good enough and it has only gotten worse over the years, both in academics and more recently in my personal life (one I haven't paid much attention to until recently). I have the "street cred" and total lack of social life of a work-a-holic nerd, but I always feel like I don't belong in academia and that sooner or later people like my research adviser are going to realize I'm not 1/10 as good as they thought I was. Burnout symptoms started in my 3rd year. I'm now in my last year, in a privileged position at a top uni (as an exchange student) and finally have a chance at doing astrophysics research and pulling a good streak of grades (coursework/exams are leaps and bounds easier than anything I did at my home institution), but my drive and optimism is now zero. Took the GRE's while feeling miserable and I had a nervous breakdown right after the general GRE, which completely discouraged me from continuing the application process (as did my adviser, scores were poor). It's now affecting my concentration too and I've just not had any drive to do anything useful in my research project in 2 weeks. I don't feel creative and I am taking way too long to do even trivial tasks. I've tried to have a break over the holidays but every moment that passes makes me feel incredibly guilty for not staying busy. Everyone suggests the course of action would be to find a job and try my luck at graduate school again at a later time, but the next (or the following) year I'll be 27-28 by the time I can start a phd, which I understand puts me in the "danger zone" if I do manage to get into grad school, as I'll get out in my mid 30's only to compete with fresh, younger and less burnt out graduates (these are words from my research supervisor). This of course added to the already dim prospects of a research career, which I've always been aware of. I'm hoping I can at least pull through this year and graduate without further tarnishing my grades and getting something out of my research project (a graduation requirement). I had a vivid hallucination about a month ago, so I figured a GP visit was in order; apparently I have textbook major depression, so I was put on a SSRI med this week. Should I bring this up to my adviser? I am very frustrated, lonely, and sad that I've become so useless at such an decisive moment and the fact I haven't really done anything else with my life. I really needed to vent.